Mother and Abhay

Acknowledgements

The most prominent among those who have contributed to prepare this memoir are Smt. Jharna Ghosh, Sri Robi Gupta, Sri Sitangshu Roy, Sri Bhupal and also Nabajyoti Press. Those who have helped from behind the scene remain unmentioned as they so preferred. We are immensely indebted to all of them.

Page 12

Page 13

Foreword

This short memorabilia is presented by the dear relatives of a departed person. But its appeal surpasses one single individual. For death has an ever widening net. It some way or the other affects every family. Interestingly, when death of a person evokes a response from a wider circle of people it tends to give it immortal character. This baffles the rough hand of death. It even revives the dead. The Greeks spoke of Katharsis, tears that wash clean a grieving heart.

I intimately knew Abhay for a long time. It gives me immense joy when I am associated with this touching tribute.

Samir Kanta Gupta

Page 15

Page 16

Page 17

Page 18

Abhay Singh Nahar

His father's name was Prithwi Singh Nahar. His mother's name was Suhag Kumari. They hail from Rajasthan. They are the descendants of a Royal family—and royal in every way, in the blue-blooded aristocracy, in culture and high pedigree. They migrated to Azimganj in the district of Murshidabad in Bengal and started residing there since 1766. Prithwi Singh was born on 3^rd June 1898 at Azimganj. The Nahar family shifted to Calcutta in 1908. Their residence at Indian Mirror Street became in course of time a landmark for cultural activities. Abhay was born in Calcutta. Although born as a Jaina, Prithwi Singh was free from all bigotry and sectarianism. He wanted his children also to grow up in an atmosphere free from all narrowness. That is why he with his family shifted to Shantiniketan in December 1929. His house at "Nichu Bangla" became a centre of pilgrimage for the elite and the artists and scholars. Young Abhay imbibed from the unique place a taste for art and refinement and love for Nature.

In 1932, when Prithwi Singh lost his wife on the day of "Vijaya Dashami", his life-plan underwent a complete change. While on a pilgrimage to South Indian temples he chanced to visit Pondicherry. After having darshan of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother he decided to take shelter at their feet. In 1938 he with his eldest daughter Sujata became ashramites. Then one by one all the children followed their father.

Page 19

At the first darshan Abhay told the Mother, "I like you. Will you keep me?" The Mother readily agreed and asked him to meet Pavitra and decide upon his work with him. Initially his work was to keep the workshop clean and to wash the cars. This mini workshop was below the living room of Pavitra and adjacent to the existing garage. Abhay did smilingly all these tasks. In course of time the Ashram expanded with many departments. Grown up Abhay now became the head of nineteen departments—transport, construction, agriculture, flowers and fruits supply, petrol bunk, etc. During his leadership there were no labour troubles. His ashramite colleagues loved him. This was a long and romantic journey.

The end came dramatically. On 14^th August 2001, at five o'clock in the evening he was walking down from his residence in the ashram to the nearby apartment of his sister, Suprabha. The eyewitness Ada says, "He suddenly stopped walking in front of the laundry. His eyes calm and peaceful gazed at the far horizon. Slowly he sat down on the ground, as if in a gesture of prayer. Then he lay prostrate, as though doing a pranam. There it all ended. The sun had set."

Page 20

4 July 1902:

A few minutes past 9 p.m Swami Vivekananda entered Mahasamadhi.

Next day—There was a little blood about the eyes, mouth, and nostrils, a sign that his life breath had passed out of the sahasrara,

Most probably something similar happened in the case of Abhay Singh also.

Page 21

Letters

Prithwi Singh,

You can certainly come in February for the darshan, we shall be very glad to see you here and the two children ¹ can also come. You will have all to crowd in one room, but as it is only for a few days that should not matter. We are getting more and more packed in the Asram and our elbow-room has diminished since you were here.

Ma,

I speak with Kakima [aunt Shanti Kumari, Uday Singh's wife], another Kakima [Kiran Kumari, Umir Chand's wife], and Pisima [Nirmal Kumari, Uday Singh's sister].

¹ 1. Abhay Singh and Sujata, aged 11 and 9.

Page 25

Mother, this time every day during meditation and pranam I can see your light. Mother, could I go on Thursday for an outing in the car? Mother, I like it very much here, so instead of returning with Kaka [Uncle Uday Singh], may I return with Father in February?

Yours,

Abhay Singh

Abhay Singh,

You can go in the motor on Thursday if it does not rain. Mother thinks it is better for you to return with your uncle and not wait till February.

30 December 1935

Prithwi Singh,

Abhay Singh and Sujata are getting on very well and the Mother has no doubt that the soul in them will grow and the seed of psychic capacity develop. The arrangements for Sujata of which you speak in your letter are approved by the Mother. Abhay Singh has become very fond of the Asram; but the Mother thinks he has need of your direct care and training as he is so very young and that is why she preferred that he should return with his uncle.

Page 26

Prithwi Singh,

[...] Abhay Singh and Sujata have their way as Uday Singh is not going before February; they are jubilant over the turn things have taken...

Page 27

Dear Abhay Singh,

Sri Aurobindo has given this answer to your question. Of course he spoke in English but told me to write to you in Bengali. Here it is:

After death the soul leaves the earth immediately or in a short time to enter what is called vital worlds. It stays there for some time, then when the time comes it leaves that too. In this way, finally it enters what is called the psychic world—here it takes rest. It remains there till the time comes to take a new birth.

I hope you are well. Take Mother's and Sri Aurobindos blessings. Accept my fond love.

Sri Nolini Kanto Gupta

P.S. I hope you will be able to read my handwriting.

Page 28

Mother's Birthday Messages

30.4.63

a Abhay Singh

Bonne Fete!

avec l'appreciation de tout le bon travail que tu as fait

l'année dernière, et mes benedictions pour que cette

année-ci soit encore meilleure.

*

to Abhay Singh

Happy birthday!

with the appreciation of all the good work that you have

done last year, and my blessings so that this year

be still better.

28 May 1963

Abhay Singh, mon cher enfant, je suis tout à fait satis-faite de ton travail qui est excellent à tous les points de vue, et je n'ai nulle intention d'utiliser l'atelier pour le travail de la défense.

De plus tu as tout à fait raison de m'écrire pour confirmation quand quelqu'un (qui que ce soit) te parle en mon nom.

Ainsi tout est bien et il n'y a pas lieu de te tourmenter.

Reste calme et confiant; tout va bien.

Avec mes bénédictions.

Page 31

Abhay Singh, my dear child,

I am absolutely satisfied with your work which is excellent from all points of view, and I have no intention of using the workshop for the defence work.

Moreover you are absolutely right to write to me for confirmation when someone (whosoever be it) speaks to you in my name.

Thus all is well and there is no need to torment yourself.

Remain calm and confident; all is well. With my blessings

17 December 1964

Mother,

I will not refuse and I have never refused to do any work given me by the Mother.

The day I know I have done this I will surely not be here any more.

With my pranam,

Your child,

Abhay Singh

?

Qui t'a dit cela?

Je n'ai jamais dit à personne et je n'ai jamais pensé une minute que tu as refusé de faire mon travail. Au contraire, je

Page 32

sais que si je te dis de faire quelque chose tu le fais immedia-tement et c est pourquoi j'hesite a demander parfois quelque chose quand je sais que ce sera une depense de plus que je ne peux pas toujours payer.

Sois tranquille, mon enfant, j'ai confiance en toi et con-nais ta fidelite.

Mais si tu veux avoir la paix, n'ecoute pas ce que les gens disent.

Benedictions

*

?

Who told you that?

I never told anyone

On the contrary, I know that if I ask you to do something you do it immediately and that is why I hesitate to ask sometimes something when I know that it will be one more expense which I cannot always meet.

Remain peaceful, my child, I have confidence in you and know your faithfulness.

But if you want to have peace do not listen to what people say.

Blessings

Page 33

Bonne Fete a Abhay Singh

avec ma tendresse

et mes

benedictions

pour son bon travail

*

Happy Birthday to Abhay Singh

with my love

and my

blessings

for his good work

Page 34

French Homework

Come, would you like to share a part of our life? A wondrous life. With each breath we inhaled joy. We did not then know it, but we were living history in the making. So, instead of writing history's footnotes, I believe it would be better to relate it. And what better way to do it than through Abhay's activities?

It was the summer of 1940. Abhay was on a visit during his summer vacation. His school was "South Suburban School Branch", Calcutta. He was in class VIII, we think. On April 30, he turned sixteen. After his interview with the Mother, he did not go back to Calcutta but stayed on. That is why our dada, eldest brother, sent Abhay his clothes in a parcel.

Began Abhay's days in the Ashram. Early in the morning, around 5 o'clock, he went to work in the flour mill. After working there for over an hour, back he went to Santal House where he lived. A good bath, then go for his breakfast to the Dining Room—open from 7 to 8. From 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Abhay worked in the Ashram's Workshop with one hour's lunch break from 12 noon to 1 p.m. He was not treated differently from the paid workers. He was just an apprentice, and Pavitrada believed in laying a good foundation.

Pavitrada was Mother's right-hand man. Under her inspiration he created a slew of services to cater to the Ashram residents' needs. Products from his laboratory,

Page 39

next to his bedroom on the first floor, not only catered to the needs of the disciples—hair oil, tooth powder, talcum powder, face cream, blue water for the eyes, etc.—but certain other things were made exclusively for our Gurus: bath salts, for instance. And... ,

, a sort of digestive pills.

Pavitrada was a graduate of Frances prestigious Ecole Polytechnique: an engineer in "Ponts et Chaussees" (Civil engineering, the Highways Department). What he did not know could easily be counted on one's fingers. A most refined gentleman, and with an infinite patience to boot. He was then in his late forties, a handsome man, lean and tall—he stood over 1 m 90 in his socks. A veteran of World War I, he left all his bright prospects for an adventure into the unknown. First of all he went to Japan, then to a monastery in Mongolia as a Lama, from there he sailed for India, and landed at Pondicherry in December 1925. He never left.

Pavitrada's assistant Mrityunjay Mukherjee was a graduate of Calcutta's well-known Presidency College. A good looking and intelligent young man, with a very fine handwriting, but of a querulous nature. Only a saint like Pavitrada could get along with him.

After Abhay's arrival in 1940 and before the opening of the Ashram school in December 1943, Pavitrada took classes for mathematics and science in French. His students were, Mrityunjay, Vasudha—Chandulal's

Page 40

sister, Shanti Doshi, Mangat Rai, Noren, Abhay, Sujata and Dayakar. A heterogeneous lot in every sense of the word, province wise and age wise and knowledge wise and language wise. Abhay was the latest to come to the Ashram and had to catch up with the language. For me, it was the subjects that were new, as I had never been to any school but was privately tutored in arts. Pavita, an English lady, taught me both English and French. And Noren who was in Harpagon for Golconde's building work, had Chandulal as his French teacher.

Chandulal, the engineer, was a shortish man, with a goatee. Although a Gujarati, he spoke and wrote French fluently. He wanted the young new-comers to learn French, the idea being to read and understand Mother's writings and to be able to talk with her. He was an enthusiastic teacher. To familiarize us with Mother's work at the same time he set us tasks from "Quelques Paroles, Quelques Prieres de la Mere". It began with grammar and progressed to essays. He submitted our notebooks to Mother, who herself corrected our French. To give our readers but an idea, we have included just one essay by Noren, Sujata and Sumitra (Suprabha's was lost), alongside Abhay's essays.

How Mother found time to correct so many notebooks—apart from the five of us there were at least a dozen more—among her myriad occupations, is still

Page 41

a source of wonder to us. Her love knew no bounds.

Through those simple and ordinary lessons Mother taught us eternal and extraordinary values: nothing is insignificant, we should always aim at Mahasaraswati's perfection in work.

I thank my French teachers from the depth of my heart to have enabled me to follow the inspiring and illuminating words that flowed melodiously in incomparable loveliness from the lips of the Mother.

Page 42

Mother,

My cold is gradually going well.

I am learning French well with Mrityunjay'da.

I am very happy here. Mother, in Calcutta somebody (ugly face) comes to me when I meditate and tells me that he will give me many money to enjoy or he will make me a leader or as I desire, and also in that time I see your smiling face and he lastly asks me whom I want. Every time I say that I want you, then your light covers my body and that ugly face goes away. Mother, this happened in Calcutta and even here also. I do not like this. He disturbs me very much. Will you kindly tell me now what to do? I want your help.'

My pranam to you and Sri Aurobindo.

Your son

Abhay Singh

I suppose he will come no more now that you have told me about it. But if ever he comes you have only to call me for help and he will go away.

My blessings

Mother

1. We have left intentionally the mistakes in Abhay's English. It was in April 1940 that he settled in the Ashram, and was living in Santal House.

Page 43

My sweet Mother,

I am very happy here. I am working in "Flour Mill". It is nice and interesting. I am learning many things in Workshop for you, these works are very nice as well as very interesting. Mother, last Sunday, I helped Pavitra-da in his laboratory room, there I feel very nice joy. Our class is going nicely. We have finished Physics and we have started Chemistry. Zoology is very interesting. Mother, but I am very weak in French and my pronunciation is the worst in the class. My grammar class is not going because Mritunjay-da has no time now.

Mother, my brother has sent me some clothes (not all) in a parcel. Shall I make one list and send it to you? [You can make a list of your things] or shall I send all my things in a box to you? [Not necessary] Mother, I have changed my routine because I am going in Flour Mill in the morning. Shall I send my routine to you? [Yes, you can send it] Mother, I am sleeping at about 10 o'clock (not every day) and I get up from bed at 5 o'clock. I am not going in "Bloc House" for playing deck-tennis. Is it all right, Mother? [Yes, it is all right. My love and blessings]

My pranam to you and my sweet father Sri Aurobindo.

Your son

Abhay Singh

Page 44

Sans le Divin, la vie est une illusion douloureuse. Avec Lui, tout est félicité. Expliquez.

En Europe les hommes sont arrivés au plus haut sommet de l'intelligence grâce au développement de la science. À l'aide de la science ils ont préparé bien des choses pour leur plaisir, mais quel en a été le résultat?¹ Ils ont prouvé par leurs fakes actions mêmes que les mensonges est les sou-verains du monde. Qui est responsable pour cette bttaillc guerre horrible et terrible ? Cela montre qu'ils vivent dans l'obscurité et l'ignorance pleines d'erreurs. D'où vient cette obscurité et cette ignorance ? EUes viennent de ce que le but de leur vie n'est pas de réaliser le Divin, pas même de com-prendre le Divin qui est, en vérité, toute compassion. Done, sans le Divin tout est obscur, sombre, ignorant, mensonge, monstruosité et ombre. Sans Lui la vie est une sinistre et grotesque comedie. Done sans Lui la vie est une illusion douloureuse.

Avec Lui tout est félicité car Lui H est Unique Réalité éternelie, la Lumiére qui éclaire toute ignorance, lAmour qui vainc tout orgueil, une Sérénite immense plus vaste

1. Mothers corrections are marked by crossed and underlined words.

Page 45

que I'univcrs et une Douceur si intense et si pleine d'infinie compassion que nous ne pouvons le comprendre et encore avec Lui tous les troubles se transforment en sérénité, toutes les souffrances en immuable bonheur, toutes les misères en immobile paix parfaite, en inexprimable joie que les mots pauvres ne peuvent pas exprimer.

(Presque Pour la derniere moitie, j'ai consulte «Prieres et Meditations ».)

17/20 bien

*

Without the Divine life is a painful illusion, with Him all is bliss. Explain.

Men in Europe have reached the highest summit of intelligence thanks to the development of science. With the help of science they have made a lot of things for their own pleasure, but what has been the result? By their very action they have proved that falsehood is the sovereign of the world. Who is responsible for this horrible and terrible war? It shows that they live in obscurity and ignorance full of errors. From where do this obscurity and this ignorance come? They come for the reason that their life's aim is not to realize the Divine, nor even to understand the Divine who, in truth, is all-compassion. Therefore, without the Divine everything is obscure, sombre, ignorant, false, a monstrosity

Page 46

and a shadow. Without Him life is a sinister and grotesque comedy. Thus without Him life is a painful illusion.

With Him all is bliss, because He is the eternal Unique Reality, the Light that illuminates all ignorance, Love that conquers all pride, an immense Serenity vaster than the universe and a Sweetness so intense and so full of infinite compassion that it is beyond our comprehension, and again with Him all our troubles are transformed into serenity, all sufferings into an immutable happiness, all miseries into an immobile peace, into an inexpressible joy that poor words cannot express.

(For the last half I have consulted "Prayers and Meditations".)

17/20 good

Lignorance, douloureuse ecole de l'existence ordinaire, toute faite de luttes et de souffrances est le compagnon des hommes puisqu'ils ont tourne le dos devant le au Divin.

Mais avec Lui, on trouve le bonheur supreme, la joie sans melange, la paix immuable. On respire l'infini, on echappe au temps et a l'espace.

17/20 bien

Ignorance, the painful school of ordinary existence, made entirely of struggles and sufferings, is the companion of

Page 47

men, because they have turned their back on the Divine.

But, with Him one finds supreme happiness, unalloyed joy, immutable peace. One breathes infinity, escapes from time and space.

17/20 good

Le Divin est la realite Unique, l'Amour supreme, la Paix immuable.

Sans la realite Unique la vie est une illusion.

Elle est douloureuse parce que sans FAmour la vie est un tourbillon incessant d'irreelles personnalites, elle est pleine de complexites, de confusions excessives, inextricables, de pensees en conflit, de tendances en lutte et de desirs en bataille.

Avec Lui tout est felicite puisqu'Il est la Paix immuable.

19 120 Excellent devoir a tous les points be uue.

*

The Divine is the Unique Reality, Love supreme, immutable Peace.

Without the Unique Reality life is an illusion. It is painful because without Love life is a constant turmoil of unreal personalities, it is full of complexities, excessive and

Page 48

inextricable confusion, conflicting thoughts, clashing tendencies and warring desires.

With Him all is bliss because He is the immutable Peace.

19 '120 excellent homework from every point of view.

Une flamme brule dans la calme profondeur de notre coeur: c'est le Divin en nous — notre etre veritable. Nous ecoutons sa voix. Nous obeissons a ses inspirations.

Le Divin est le souverain maitre de cet univers. II est Unique Realite. Lumiere de la lumiere et Vie de la vie. II est Amour supreme et sauveur du monde.

O Seigneur il faut que l'ignorance soit vaincue, que i'il-lusion de notre vie se dissipe, que cet univers douloureux sorte de son affreux cauchemar et enfin pour s'eveiller a la conscience de Son Unique realite.

II est conducteur de notre vie, vainqueur de tous les obstacles. II est en toutes choses comme un souffle vivifiant, comme une douce paix, un soleil d'amour lumineux. II est notre refuge, notre force et notre courage. Sans lui comment nou^vivons vivrions-nous ? Son amour est si grand, si pur que nous ne pouvons pas le comprendre. II est immense, infini. Nous devons nous approcher de Lui.

Sans lui la vie est une monstruosite. Sans sa Beaute, Sa Force toute existence est une sinistre et grotesque comedie.

Page 49

Si nous vivons dans l'obscurite tout devient douloureux. Mais quand nous nous refugions dans les bras du Divin done toutes les difficultes sont resolues. Quand nous som-mes avec lui toutes les difficultes, obscurites, monstruosites et les forces anti-divines sont vaincues. Quand nous sommes conscients, que nous pouvons distinguer et trier les choses, et que nous pouvons voir quelles sont les forces qui nous tirent vers le bas et celles qui nous poussent en avant. Et quand nous sommes capables de discerner ce qui doit etre de ce qu'il faut eviter, le vrai du faux, le Divin et l'anti-divin, nous devons agir strictement selon cette connaissance. Et cette connaissance devient par la Grace Divine.

Qui est notre vie, notre courage, notre connaissance et notre paix, comment est-ce possible pour nous de vivre dans ce monde sans lui. C'est pourquoi on dit: «Sans le Divin, la vie est une illusion douloureuse. Avec lui tout est felicite.»

17120 bien

*

A flame burns in the calm depth of our heart: it is the Divine in us—our true being. We listen to its voice. We obey its inspirations.

The Divine is the sovereign master of this universe. He is the Unique Reality, Light of light and Life of life. He is supreme Love and saviour of the world.

O Lord, it is imperative that ignorance be conquered, that the illusion of our life be dissipated, that this painful universe emerge out of its frightful nightmare and awake at

Page 50

last to the consciousness of His Unique Reality.

He is the conductor of our life, conqueror of all obstacles. In all things He is like a living breath, a sweet peace, a sun of luminous love. He is our refuge, our force and our courage. How could we live without Him? His love is so great, so pure that we cannot understand it. He is immense, infinite. We must come closer to Him.

Without Him life is a monstrosity. Without His Beauty, His Force, all existence is a sinister and grotesque comedy.

If we live in obscurity, everything becomes painful. But when we take refuge in the arms of the Divine all the difficulties are resolved. When we are with Him all the difficulties, obscurities, monstrosities and anti-Divine forces are vanquished. When we are conscious and can distinguish and sift things, we can see those forces that pull us downward and those that push us forward. And when we are capable of distinguishing what must be and what must be avoided, the true and the false, the Divine and the anti-Divine, we must act strictly according to this knowledge. And this knowledge comes by the Divine Grace.

He is our life, our courage, our knowledge and our peace —how is it possible for us to live in this world without Him! That is why we say: "Without the Divine, life is a painful illusion. With Him all is bliss."

17/20 good

Page 51

Collectivement, fonder la societe ideale dans le lieu propice a

I'eclosion de la nouvelle race, celle des «Fils de Dieu».

Laissons notre pensee jeter quelques regards en arriere pour tacher d'entrevoir ce qu'etait jadis l'homme. II etait nu d'esprit mais dans ce temps-pa, les hommes se sont reunis ensemble pour s'entraider et travailler de concert a l'erection djin domicile, et ainsi la societe prit [a pris] naissance. Puis ils ont evolue et cette evolution a obei a une loi de progres dont le resultat est la civilisation moderne [actuelle]. Mais cette societe n'a pas la connaissance supreme et par suite elle n'est pas la societe ideale; c'est pourquoi il faut fonder la societe ideale, ce qui ne peut se faire que par le Divin. Done, il faut prier le Divin pour qu'il vienne et transforme notre conscience en une conscience lumineuse et pleine de sagesse pour fonder la societe ideale dans le lieu propice a. I'eclosion de la nouvelle race, celle des « Fils de Dieu» qui seule peut transformer toutes choses en benediction eternelle.

14/20 Assez bien

*

Collectively, to establish an ideal society in a propitious spot for the flowering of the new race, the race of the "Sons of God".

Let our thought look behind to try and know what once man was. He was a naked spirit but in those times,

Page 52

men gathered together to help each other and work in a concerted manner to erect a house, and thereby society took its birth. Then men evolved and this evolution obeyed a law of progress whose result is the present modern civilization. But this society does not have the supreme knowledge and consequently it is not the ideal society; that is why the ideal society has to be founded, which can only be done by the Divine. So, one has to pray to the Divine to come and transform our consciousness into a luminous and all-wise consciousness to found the ideal society in a place propitious for the blooming of the new race, the race of the Sons of God which alone can transform everything in eternal blessing.

14120 fair

14 January 1944

Penscz au Divin scul et le Divin sera avec vous.

Le Divin est partout, mais c'est seulement quand nous pensons au Divin seul que nous sommes conscients de Lui et que nous sentons definitivement que le Divin est avec nous car notre esprit est toujours entoure de ce a quoi nous pensons.

*

Think of the Divine alone and the Divine will be with you.

The Divine is everywhere, but it is only when we think

Page 53

of the Divine alone that we are conscious of Him and then we definitely feel that the Divine is with us, because our spirit is always surrounded by that of which we think.

*

Notre vie entiere doit etre une priere offerte au Divin.

Comme Le Divin est la seule source de toutes choses et createur de notre existence; c'est pourquoi notre vie entiere doit etre une priere offerte au Divin car sans Lui nous n'avons pas d existence.

*

The whole of our life should be a prayer offered to the Divine.

The Divine alone is the origin of all things and creator of our existence; that is why our whole life must be a prayer offered to the Divine, because without Him we do not exist.

*

Travailler pour le Divin, c'est prier avec son corps.

Quand nous travaillons pour le Divin tout notre corps tend vers Lui avec amour et nous avons des joies sans melange et notre corps devient plus frais, plus pur, plus riant et plus heureux. Dans les autres travaux notre corps est fatigue et malheureux. C'est pourquoi travailler pour le Divin, c'est prier avec son corps.

15/20 assez bien

*

Page 54

To work for the Divine is to pray with the body.

When we work for the Divine, our body is reaching out to Him with love and we feel unmixed joys and our body becomes fresher, purer, happier and more smiling. In other works, our body is tired and unhappy. That is why to work for the Divine is to pray with the body.

15/20 fair

21 January 1944

Afin d'etre rempli a nouveau le vase doit parfois se vider.

O Seigneur, afin d'etre rempli a nouveau notre esprit qui est le vase, doit parfois se vider, car quand notre esprit est plein d'impuretes et de pensees malveillantes, il faut les rejeter a l'exterieur pour realiser le vide de l'esprit.

Une fois que le vide est realise, il faut remplir de nouveau avec la conscience absolue qui eclaire l'intelligence, dissipe les obstacles de l'ignorance et vient directement de Douce Mere, car la Douce Mere est la seule Conscience pure et absolue.

17/20 tresbien

*

In order to be filled anew, the vase must get emptied sometimes.

O Lord, in order to be filled anew, our spirit, which is the vase, must sometimes be emptied, because when our spirit is

Page 55

full of impurities and evil thoughts, we have to throw them out in order to achieve emptiness of mind.

Once emptiness is achieved, one has to fill it up again with the absolute consciousness which enlightens the intellect, dispels the obstacles of ignorance and comes directly from Sweet Mother, because the Sweet Mother is the only pure and absolute consciousness.

17/20 Very good

28 January 1944

Dans chaque nouvelle aurore se trouve la possibilite d'un progres nouveau.

Douce Mere, chaque nouvelle aurore apporte avec lui de elle la lumiere doree, pure et pleine de sa presence. Cette lumiere s'avance vers tout et enveloppe tout de toute part. Ceux qui sont baignes dans cette pure lumiere avec amour et devotion sont benis et avancent vers Toi. Done dans chaque nouvelle aurore se trouve la possibilite d'un progres nouveau.

*

Each new dawn brings the possibility of a new progress.

Sweet Mother, each new dawn brings with it the golden light, pure and full of its presence. This light moves towards everything and envelopes everything from all sides. Those who are bathed in this pure light with love and devotion

Page 56

are blessed and move forward towards You. So, every new dawn brings the possibility of a new progress.

*

Nous avancons sans hate parce que nous sommes surs de Vavenir.

Si nous ne sommes pas surs de l'avenir, nous ne pouvons pas avancer car nous avons des doutes, nous n'avons pas d'esperance pour le succes, tout est obscur.

Mais nous sommes surs de l'avenir parce que la Douce Mere nous conduit et par suite nous avancons sans hate.

(Mere a ajoute:)

Quand on nest pas sur de son avenir on est inquiet et impatient; la certitude, au contraire, vous donne le courage de faire les choses tranquillement et soigneusement avec un souci de perfection.

Benedictions

16/20 bien

*

We move forward without haste for we are sure oftlie future.

If we are not sure of the future, we cannot move forward, because we have doubts, we have no hope for success, everything is dark.

But we are sure of the future, because the Sweet Mother is guiding us and in consequence we are moving forward without haste.

Page 57

(Mother added:)

When you are not sure of your future, you are worried and impatient; on the contrary, the certitude gives you the courage to do things quietly and carefully with a regard for perfection.

Blessings

16/20 good

4 February 1944

Des que tout effort disparatt d'une manifestation, elk devient ires simple, de la simplicite d'unefleur qui s'epanouit et qui manifeste sa beaute et repand son parfum sans eclats de voix ni gestes violents.

Des que tout effort, c'est-a-dire celui qui vient de l'orgueil, de la volonte, de l'ambition, de l'egoi'sme, etc. disparait d'une manifestation, elle devient tres simple parce que la Paix, la Serenite, l'flgalite, la Lumiere, etc. apparaissent ou la Mere Divine se manifeste.

La simplicite de la manifestation est comparable a celle d'une fleur qui s'epanouit et qui manifeste sa beaute et repand son parfum sans eclats de voix ni gestes violents.

Simplicite, simplicite! Comme est douce la purete de ta presence...

La simplicite est depourvue de toutes sortes de deformations, elle est comme une fleur qui ne s'inquiete de rien mais qui est integralement identified avec le Divin. Done la

Page 58

presence de la simplicite est naturellement douce.

15120 assez bien

*

As soon as all effort disappears from a manifestation, it becomes very simple, with the simplicity of a flower that blossoms and shows its beauty and spreads its perfume without raised voices or violent gestures.

As soon as all effort, that is, the effort that comes from pride, vanity, ambition and egoism, disappears from a manifestation, it becomes very simple because Peace, Serenity, Equality and Light, etc. appear where the Divine Mother manifests herself.

The simplicity of the manifestation can be compared to that of a flower that blossoms, shows its beauty and spreads its perfume without raised voices or violent gestures.

Simplicity, simplicity'. How sweet is the purity of your presence...

Simplicity is devoid of all kinds of deformations, it is like a flower that is worried by nothing, but is totally identified with the Divine. So the presence of simplicity is naturally sweet.

15/20 fair

Page 59

Douce Mere,

Au seuil de cette nouvelie jours an nee qui apporte la paix, l'energie et la lumiere, je T'adore en silence et je Te salue avec une profonde devotion.

Le coeur deborde de joie et la gratitude monte vers Toi.

Delivre-moi, Douce Mere, de l'obscurite et permets que je devienne parfaitement eveille... et montre-moi le chemin qui mene sans detours vers Toi.

Douce Mere, je me prosterne a Tes pieds et mon immense salutation monte vers Toi et vers notre Doux Seigneur Sri Aurobindo.

Mes benedictions

*

Sweet Mother,

On the threshold of this new year which brings peace, energy and light, I adore You in silence and I salute You with profound devotion.

The heart overflows with joy and gratitude rises towards You.

Sweet Mother, set me free from obscurity and allow me to become perfectly awake... and show me the path that leads towards You without detours.

Sweet Mother, I bow down at Your feet and my immense

1 Abhay Singh's birthday.

Page 60

salutation rises towards You and our Sweet Lord, Sri Aurobindo.

My blessings

26 March 1947

L' aube

Le ciel est un pen reste legerement obscur, mais pen a pen petit a. petit une lumiere divinement pure et harmonieuse, dont l'intensite augmente croit peu a peu, s'allume dans le au ciel. Dans le lointain, des nuages de couleurs variees charment les yeux. L'atmosphere est tres fratche, tres douce et tres calme. Le vent souffle doucement. Tout le monde respire avec bonheur fair pur du matin. Les coqs saluent de leur voix la plus fratche claironnante l'aube du jour nouveau. Les oiseaux chantent sur les arbres. Les fleurs s'epanouissent et lajoyeuse priere du monde s'eleve vers l'infini, tandis que la rosee tombe apportant doucement sur la terre, annoncia-trice d'une vie nouvelle.

*

Dawn

The sky remains slightly dark, but little by little a divinely pure and harmonious light whose intensity increases gradually, lights up in the sky. In the distance, many-coloured clouds delight the eye. The atmosphere is very fresh, very sweet and calm. The wind blows softly. Every one breathes

Page 61

happily the morning air. The cocks welcome the dawn of a new day with their loud voices. Birds sing in the trees. Flowers are blooming and the joyous prayer of the world rises towards the Infinite, while the dew gently falls on earth, harbinger of a new life.

Page 62

Abhay Recalls

From 1936, at the age of twelve, whenever I visited Pondi-cherry to see Mother, I used to fall ill, specially with high fever, cough and cold. But this could not deter my trip to Pondicherry as I was determined to see Mother. As soon as I reached Pondicherry, I would be cured and normal!

When the same thing went on repeating thrice before my coming to Pondicherry I informed Mother about it. And Mother said that since I had informed Her now about my sickness, in future I would be in normal health during my trip to Pondicherry. Since then I had no sickness before my departure from Calcutta for Pondicherry.

In the year 1952, I was shifted from "Santal House" to the Ashram main building. After a year I wanted to see a film in an outside cinema hall. Reluctantly Mother gave me permission as She knew my desire and obstinacy to see the film. After my return from the cinema, the same night, I got severe cough and cold and it lasted several days. It turned out to be bronchitis. I was endlessly coughing and coughing and it was severe and tiring specially during the night. To avoid disturbing others during night, I used to go to a lonely corner of the Ashram garden and used to cough for hours. I did not inform Mother about it but one of the members who was residing in the Ashram premises saw me coughing and informed Mother.

The next morning Mother caught hold of my hand and asked me if it was true that I was coughing during the night

Page 65

and also when and how did I catch it. I told her that I got the cough after I returned from the film show a few days back. Mother smiled and told me that I caught the infection in the cinema hall. And She said that She was not at all happy to give me permission for going to a film in an outside hall. Anyhow, now that I was suffering with severe cough she asked me to see the Ashram doctor, who gave me some mixture of syrup and in a few days I was fully recovered. The doctor insisted on testing my blood and found some infection so he decided to give me some injection. But I refused. So the matter went to Mother and She asked me why did I refuse the injection. I replied that I refused it because I did not have cough any more and so did not feel any necessity for injection. Mother asked me if I often suffered from cough and I said "No". Mother looked at my eyes for a long time and then She told me to forget about taking injection. Till today, 1986, I have not suffered from cough as I had in the 1950s.

We had the joy of playing tennis with Mother. She had such fine control over the ball! And if we could control our balls and place them exactly within Mother's reach, then we used to have very good rallies. Mother loved tennis and She

Page 66

used to say that tennis is a game which one can play even in old age. Age has no boundary for tennis. Tennis taught us alertness, body fitness and concentration.

Once during the year 1957 or 1958, Mother had not called me to play with Her for months. I was sad and inwardly disturbed and took umbrage with Mother. So I decided not to be present in the tennis court when Mother came to play tennis. I went to play football or for a swim in the sea. One evening when Mother returned from the playground—and I used to be present to see Mother upstairs in the corridor—suddenly She caught my hand firmly and asked me the reason of my absence from the tennis court while She was playing. I told Her that as for months She was not calling me to play with Her, I thought She was not interested to play with me any more and so I was absent these days during Her play. Mother looked into my eyes for a long time and told me "You see, I do not play tennis only for the sake of exercise. I play because with each stroke, each return, I can send some good atmosphere and bring down light and peace to remove the depression or psychological problems. And to those who are physically unwell, with each ball I send them strength and energy so that they can recover their health. Also with each stroke I remove their mental and vital difficulties of ego and desire. Thus you see, even in tennis I am helping each one to solve their difficulties and to grow towards progress and perfection."

I promised Mother that henceforth I shall be present in

Page 67

the tennis court whenever She was playing and since then I was always there with joyous heart. And often She used to call me to play with Her.

I was operated for hernia by Dr. Sanyal in the year 1956. I had a wonderful experience. Before going to the Nursing Home, I went to Mother for Her Blessings. After my pranam, She gave me a Blessings packet and asked me to keep the same under my pillow. I had to be in bed for fifteen days. After the operation I felt pain all over my body and I was wondering how to pass fifteen days in bed. So I kept Mother's Blessing packet under my pillow and started calling Mother for help with all the intensity of my heart. The next morning when I woke up I was surprised to feel that all my pain had disappeared and that my body was filled with peace. Even the cells of my body were feeling the peace. This peace was something very real and it gave a sensation of joy. When I was back from the Nursing Home this concrete peace lasted for more than six months. It was an experience and a certitude that "peace" can be established in our own cells. Mother was happy when I narrated my experience to Her.

Page 68

In the year 1961 I was not feeling well and had fever and no appetite. I used to work and play vigorously. I used to see Mother several times a day. In the evening when She returned from the playground I used to see Her in the corridor upstairs. I told Her that I had fever and no appetite. As soon as She heard about my fever She turned away Her face and left without a word. The same thing happened for three days. So I decided that I had nothing and started my routine work and went to play tennis at 3 p. m. After the game I felt very weak and went to my sisters' place to drink some milk. But I could not drink as I had vomiting sensation and I was extremely weak. So, without taking any food I started returning to my room from my sisters' place. Suddenly I felt giddy and I immediately sat down on the ground. And then with great difficulty, after taking rest on the footpath six to seven times I reached my room and went straight to my bed and to sleep.

During the night I felt yellow smoke coming out of my body and in the morning I felt much better. I went to Dr. Sanyal and he told me that I had jaundice and asked me to take some precaution concerning food. But what was strange was that I felt quite normal and all weakness and giddiness had disappeared completely. Next day I told Mother all that had happened the previous night. She listened to me with love and told me that the poison of the jaundice had evaporated from the body and that was why

Page 69

I was cured. She said that it was a very interesting case and She was satisfied with my experience. And soon I fully recovered from jaundice without even taking medicine.

How Mother's love and affection surrounded us in all our activities is inexpressible. We felt Her presence in work, studies and sports.

Once I had some pain in my stomach and I went to our doctor Nripenda and after examining me he told me that I have hernia and I must immediately stop all physical activities like football, volley ball, badminton, etc. So, at that age, I was very depressed and I went and informed Mother all that the doctor had told me.

Mother smiled and told me not to be discouraged by what the doctor had said, but to continue everything using hernia belt. And I was provided with hernia belt.

All went well but with time the hernia belt became old and damaged. I reported to Mother and prayed sanction for a new one. She took me to Her Green Room and opened an almirah, brought out a hernia belt and gave it to me. In the box it was written "Abhay". And immediately She ordered one for my next use! Mothers Grace knew no bounds.

This is only to give an example of how She had always concern for all of us.

Page 70

Her love for our present, past and future was like ocean of love, unlimited, vast and no words can express the same.

Once upon a time I was going to Madras Airport to fetch someone. Before starting for the airport, I went to Mother for Her blessings.

After my pranam Mother looked at me and told me to drive very carefully. I was wondering why She said so.

I was driving at 65 miles per hour, when suddenly I saw a lady calling her daughter to come to her. And the child without looking to the traffic rushed to her mother. I applied my brake with all my strength and was able to stop the car before crushing her. I touched only her flying ghaghra [skirt].

On my return home, I narrated the incident to Mother and She said that She had seen some kind of accident and that is why She had cautioned me.

Mother's love, grace and protection were for all of us and for all the time.

Long back, we were once concreting in Parea Charbon: a compound wall to protect the property from sea erosion.

Page 71

The next morning, we reported the matter to Mother and we informed Her that the work had gone on up to 9 p. m. The Mother told Manoranjan-da who was in charge of the project to stop the work at 8:30 p. m. and not to go beyond this time. It was an order and must be obeyed.

So the same day, work of concreting the wall was proceeding smoothly and at 8:25 p.m. Manoranjan-da asked us to stop the work for the day. When we were coming out of the place, suddenly the sea level increased and splashes fell on us. Anyhow we could safely come out from our position with the vibrator machine. And then we observed that if we had been there, the sea would have washed us to its water.

The next day, when we reported the matter to Mother, She smiled and said that She had asked the sea not to trouble us up to 8:30 p.m.

When Mother's love, help and protection are there, none can harm us. We have only to be sincere and truthful to Her.

Page 72

Two Dreams of Abhay

(Retold by Sujata)

In 1969, Mother gave the Manakula Vinayaka temple in Pondicherry an extra space of 130 square metres. The old boundary wall was demolished, a new wall was constructed. Mother had given this job to Abhay. A few days later Abhay had a visit from Ganesha himself! "A radiating golden Ganeshji with a football in his hand..." The god looked fondly at Abhay and invited him to play football with him! Abhay was a good football player. A delighted Abhay played with Ganesha till he was tired. The kind god smiled and said, "You see, I am now able to move about freely because of the extra space. I am pleased with you and I want to bestow upon you a boon." A surprised and happy Abhay replied that he had no personal need "as you know, the Mother gives us everything even before we ask Her. But I pray to you to grant me that the work of growth and development at Nandanam Garden does not suffer from paucity of funds." Abhay described to us his dream. "A smiling Shri Ganeshji looked at me with love and affection. I bowed down to him. He raised his hand and blessed me and disappeared." Ganesh kept his word. The work at Nandanam never suffered from lack of money.

Page 75

On the night of Saturday, 2^nd June, 1979

The place was somewhere in a building of the Ashram, but not the main building of the Ashram. I was walking in a garden under a tall coconut tree. All around was shabby, and there was an atmosphere of depression. At some places it was pitch dark, but at some places it was bright sunshine. Some tall trees were around. (It seems that the location was Cocotier of Parichand.)

Then I saw suddenly, emerging from the dark, a procession of people carrying a long basket. The people carrying the basket were all ashramites, and among them were two trustees. Also, I got the impression that the basket contained a dead body and that it was being carried to the cremation ground. (The procession seemed to have emerged from the small lane that connects Parichand's Cocotier with the building of the office of the Department of Physical Education.)

I wondered as to what had happened, and who was being carried.

As the procession approached the courtyard and people saw me, there was panic among them, and there was scare and fear, and their faces became white with nervousness or anxiety.

I was surprised to see their nervous faces and wondered what all this was about. And then, they suddenly left the

Page 76

basket and ran for their lives, helter-skelter. I was really astonished to see their faces full of panic.

Then I looked at the basket left behind by them. At the top of the basket there was a white cloth which was tucked on all the sides. I noticed that the cloth was moving and that someone inside the basket was struggling to come out.

So, I went near the basket and removed the cloth. And to my utter shock and surprise I found a most beautiful and magnificent peacock, which was tied brutally by a strong rope with the basket.

I hastened to untie the knot and the peacock sprang out in a very dignified way. The peacock shook itself a little and looked at me with affectionate appreciation. The peacock was most beautiful with extraordinary grandeur, and the colours of its body were bright and luminous, and the reflections of these colours in the atmosphere were glowing. The size of this peacock was much larger than that of the usual peacocks.

Then the peacock slowly walked away, almost dancing, and it gradually faded from my sight.

At this moment, my dream ended.

I got up from my bed with the vibration of peace. I saw that the time in the clock was 4 a.m.

Page 77

Tributes to Abhay

in Bengali

Page 81

Page 82

Page 83

Page 84

Page 85

Page 86

Page 87

Page 88

Page 89

Page 90

Page 91

Page 92

Page 93

Page 94

Tributes in French

Sumitra-di bonsoir,

Je n'avais pas marque ce que j'avais vu a propos de Abhay Singh.

Je te dis done ce qui ne s'efface pas de ma memoire: Abhay Singh s'eloignait dans la lumiere sur un chemin en or solide.

II s'est tourne et j'ai vu son sourire qui etait tres doux.

Quant au detail, Sri Aurobindo dont tu me paries, tout ce dont je me souviens, e'est une atmosphere, une essence de Sri Aurobindo qui enveloppait Abhay Singh.

Tu me dis que j'avais parle de pont: je faisais allusion au pont que Sri Aurobindo et Mere ont construit entre le monde physique et le monde supramental, qu'on peut emprunter pour ne pas passer a travers les mondes interme-diaires. Sans doute Abhay Singh y avait« pose le pied » avant de quitter le corps: je sens que son passage n'a ete qu'une continuation lumineuse. Je ne peux pas oublier ce chemin en or solide.

*

Sumitra-di, good evening,

I did not write down what I saw concerning Abhay Singh.

So I'll tell you what will not be erased from my memory: Abhay Singh was moving away in the light on a path of solid gold.

He looked back and I saw his very sweet smile.

As to the detail on Sri Aurobindo you mention, all that

Page 97

I remember is an atmosphere, an essence of Sri Aurobindo enveloping Abhay Singh.

You tell me that I spoke of a bridge: I was alluding to the bridge built by Sri Aurobindo and Mother between the physical world and the supramental world, across which one can walk to avoid having to pass through the intermediate worlds. No doubt Abhay Singh had "set his foot" upon it before leaving the body: I feel that his passage was but a serene and luminous continuation. I cannot forget that path of solid gold.

Page 98

Tres chers amis,

J'aimerais vous dire que je suis pres de vous dans le depart d'Abhay, dont je conserve un souvenir profond de l'aide qu'il m'apporta du temps ou j'etais a l'Ashram.

De tout ce qu'il fit ensuite, apres le depart de Mere, de sa profonde fidelite a Mere et Sri Aurobindo. Sumitra m'a communique la jolie vision de Felicity: Sri Aurobindo attendant Abhay et lui faisant traverser un pont d'or. C'est tellement bien qu'il n'y a rien a ajouter.

Je vous adresse a Suprabha et a Noren, ma profonde et fidele affection.

21 Aout 2001

*

Very dear friends,

I would like to tell you that I am near you in the departure of Abhay Singh. I keep a deep memory of the help he gave me when I was in the Ashram.

Everything he did subsequently, after Mother's departure, was with his profound loyalty to Mother and Sri Aurobindo. Sumitra has communicated to me Felicity's beautiful vision: Sri Aurobindo waiting for Abhay and making him cross a bridge of gold. It is so good that nothing more can be added.

I offer my profound and faithful affection to you Suprabha and Noren.

*

Page 99

Dearest Suprabha and Noren,

Michel nous a donne hier soir la si triste nouvelle.

Nous sommes de tout coeur avec vous et partageons votre grande peine.

II nous a quitte mais je sens qu'il reste pres de nous. Avec vous tres affectueusement

Patrice

Beaucoup d'amour

Rose

15 Aout 2001

*

Page 100

Dearest Suprabha and Noren,

Last evening Michel gave us such a sad news.

We are with you wholeheartedly and share your great sorrow.

He has left us but I feel that he remains near us.

With you very fondly,

Patrice

Lots of love,

Rose

Chers amis,

J'ai ete tres emue d'apprendre le depart d'Abhay Singh...

Page 101

mais je le sens si leger... comme le vol d'un oiseau parti rejoindre le Divin...

Je vous presente a tous et tout patticulierement a sa compagne mes tres sinceres condoleances.

II restera dans ma memoire avec son beau sourire et son esprit vif, mais il me manquera lorsque je reviendrai vous voir...

Tres affectueusement a vous tous

17 Aout2 001

Dear Friends,

I was quite upset to learn of Abhay Singh's departure... but I feel him so light... like the flight of a bird gone to rejoin the Divine.

I offer to you all and very particularly to his companion my sincerest condolences.

He will remain in my memory with his beautiful smile and his lively spirit, but I shall miss him when I come again to meet you...

Very fondly to you all.

Page 102

A la fin de la reunion du 15 Aout et a ceux qui avaient eu le plaisir de rencontrer Abhay Singh, Sumitra nous a appris son brusque depart.

Veuillez croire que je suis bien peinee et accepter toute mon amitie, vous, votre famille et ses proches a I Ashram.

Bien fraternellement

17 Aout 2001

*

At the end of 15^th August meeting, Sumitra apprised those of us who had the pleasure of knowing Abhay Singh of his sudden departure.

I am deeply saddened, and send my kind regards to you, your family, and to those in the Ashram who were near him.

Fraternally yours

Page 103

Noren et famille

En profonde affection avec vous

Noren and family

With you in deep affection

*

Chere Sumitra, Cher Bernard,

Nous venons d'apprendre la triste nouvelle et venons vous souhaiter beaucoup de courage dans l'epreuve qui vous touche. Nous vous assurons de nos plus sinceres condoleances et de notre tres fraternelle amitie

*

Dear Sumitra, Dear Bernard,

We just heard the sad news and have come to wish you all courage in the ordeal affecting you. Be assured of our most sincere condolences and very fraternal friendship.

*

Page 104

Bons baisers a tous deux — Nous pensons bien a vous et a toute la famille.

*

Love to both of you—we are thinking of you and of the entire family.

*

Bien chere Suprabha,

J'ai appris le 15 aout dernier, par un ami qui avait medite ce jour-la avec des disciples de Mere et de Sri Aurobindo, le deces de votre frere Abhay Singh.

Cela m'a beaucoup emue et beaucoup attristee d'abord

Page 105

pour vous et toute votre famille, puis aussi parce que je garde, tres chaud au coeur, ses invitations chaleureuses dans son appartement de l'Ashram et les ties longs et passion-nants entretiens que nous avions eus ensemble.

J'espere qu'il n'a pas souffert et qu'il a pu partir dans la Paix.

Sachez, bien chere Suprabha, que je comprends de tout coeur toute la peine que vous devez ressentir.

Je prie pour vous, pour Abhay Singh et pour toute votre famille.

Soyez gentille de transmettre de ma part a Noren Singh toute ma sympathie dans cette douloureuse epreuve.

Abhay Singh emanait une qualite d'etre qui m'avait pro-fondement touchee.

Mon mari se joint a moi pour vous dire toute notre amitie.

Recevez toute mon affection.

20 Aout 2001

Very dear Suprabha,

On last August 15^th, I learned, through a friend who meditated on that day with Mother's and Sri Aurobindo's disciples, of your brother Abhay Singh's decease.

I was very moved and saddened, first of all for you and all your family, and then also because I keep very warmly in my heart his hearty invitations to his Ashram apartment and the long and fascinating conversations we had together.

I hope he did not suffer and could go in Peace.

Page 106

You may be assured, dear Suprabha, that I wholeheartedly understand all the sorrow you surely feel.

I pray for you, for Abhay Singh, and all your family.

Be kind enough to convey all my sympathy to Noren Singh in this painful ordeal.

Abhay Singh emanated a quality of being which deeply touched me.

My husband joins me in expressing our love,

Most affectionately.

*

Page 107

Chere famille,

S'il etait des mots a prononcer Pour tenter de vous consoler Nous les dirions du fond du coeur Pour adoucir votre douleur, Sinceres Condoleances

Nous avons ete, et sommes toujours en permanence de tout cceur avec vous, et partageons votre douleur, dans la Grace de Douce Mere et Sri Aurobindo.

Tres fraternellement.

*

Dear family,

If words could be uttered

To try and comfort you

"We would say them from the bottom of our hearts

To soothe your grief,

Sincere condolences

We were and are always permanently with you wholeheartedly and share your sorrow, in Mother's and Sri Auro-bindo's Grace.

Fraternally.

Page 108

Je pense beaucoup a Abhay et tout ce qu'il faisait pour nous rendre nos sejours a Pondy confortables. Bernard avait beaucoup de tendresse pour lui. Je pense a toi, Sujata, avec toute mon affection. Cela etait si soudain, tu as du avoir un choc.

5 Novembre 2001

*

I am thinking a lot of Abhay and all he used to do to make our stays in Pondy comfortable. Bernard felt much tenderness for him. I think of you, Sujata, with all my affection. It was so sudden, you must have felt a shock.

Page 109

Bien cher Patrice,

Quelques mots pour te remercier de m'avoir fait prevenir du depart de Abhay Singh.

Etrangcmcnt cette nouvelle m'a donne l'impression d'avoir pense a lui tres recemment mais sans que cela se precise.

Abhay Singh est pour moi lie a Sujata et c'etait Nandanam; ce sont des souvenirs enfouis dans le fond de mon coeur et je n'y touche pas volontiers. II a toujours ete avec moi tres amical et son impact etait celui de la droiture, de la noblesse. J'avais toujours l'impression en le regardant, d'abord de quelque chose de Sujata, un beau visage fin, et cette droiture, un bel homme noble, la noblesse.

Avec le depart de Micheline et d'Abhay Singh, nous avons pense a Mere quand les vieux fideles la quittaient un a un. Rien a dire ou trop a dire pour Sujata, j'ai le coeur qui gonfle dans la poitrine. Si un jour tu la rencontres dis-lui toujours ma tendresse. J'aime Satprem, mais j'avais et j'ai toujours un «coin special» dans le coeur pour elle____

Je te remercie Patrice... nous t'aimons beaucoup et J.P. et Claude aiment tres fort Satprem et Sujata.

20 Aout 2001

Dear Patrice,

A few words to thank you for having informed me about the passing away of Abhay Singh. Strangely enough this

Page 110

news gave me the impression of having thought about him very recently but it is vague.

For me Abhay Singh is linked with Sujata and it was Nandanam, these are memories hidden in the recess of my heart. I do not willingly touch them. With me he had always been very friendly and his impact was of straightforwardness, of nobility. Always on seeing him I had the impression first of Sujata, a beautiful fine face and this straightforwardness, a fine noble person, the nobility itself.

With the departure of Micheline and of Abhay Singh, we thought of Mother when the old faithful sadhaks left Her one by one. Nothing to say, or too much to tell for Sujata, my heart swells within my chest. If, one day, you meet her, please tell her about my love always. I love Satprem but I had and still have a "special corner" for her in the heart.

I thank you Patrice... we love you much and J.P. and Claude love very much Satprem and Sujata.

Page 111

Grand Frere,

C'est Abhay Singh qui m'avait appris votre Nouvel fitat.

Grand Frere, j'ai de la peine a la pensee de ne plus le voir a notre prochain voyage a Pondy en Mars, si je ne devais pas me faire operer de l'oeil gauche, je ne sais meme pas si j'irais en Inde l'annee prochaine.

Dans mon coeur la certitude qu'il est pres de Mere et de Sri Aurobindo, alors tout est bien; malgre cela une grande tristesse. Micheline, Abhay Singh en quelques mois... en meme temps un nouvel elan pour le Travail...

Che re Sujata,

Dans les mains la carte ecrite par Francoise m'annoncant

Page 112

la triste nouvelle, le depart d'un ami, un ami tres cher, le seul ami avec qui je pouvais parler coeur a coeur a Pondy.

Sujata, je partage votre tristesse et je vous remercie de m'avoir fait prevenir.

Je me glisse au milieu de vous pour entourer de toute notre affection Abhay Singh, l'enfant bien aime de Mere et de Sri Aurobindo.

Bonne route, mon amie,

Avec ma profonde tendresse dans « Leur Lumiere». Tous ensemble.

23 Aout 2001

Big Brother,

It is Abhay Singh who informed me about your New State.

Big Brother, I have pain in thinking that I won't see him during our next visit to Pondy in March, if I did not have to be operated on my left eye, I do not even know if I would have gone next year.

In my heart the certitude that he is near Mother and Sri Aurobindo, so everything is alright; in spite of this, a great sadness. Micheline, Abhay within a few months... at the same time a new impetus for the Work...

Dear Sujata,

In my hand the card written by Francoise announcing the sad news of the passing away of a friend, a very dear

Page 113

friend, the only friend with whom I could have a heart to heart talk in Pondy.

Sujata, I share your sorrow and I thank you for having informed me.

I creep amongst you to surround Abhay Singh, the beloved child of Mother and Sri Aurobindo, with all our affection.

Good journey, my friend,

With my deep love in "Their Light".

All together.

Page 114

Chers amis,

Nous avons appris avec tristesse le depart de votre frere Abhay.

II avait su surmonter les epreuves a la suite du depart de Mere et faire preuve de cet esprit de creation qui nous avait etonnes lorsque nous etions alles dans son bureau, il y a plusieurs annees deja.

Nous avions beaucoup apprecie son accueil chaleureux; ce souvenir reste, lumineux, dans notre coeur.

Son depart, le 14 aout, veille de l'anniversaire de la nais-sance de Sri Aurobindo, n'est pas sans signification.

Par le coeur et par l'esprit, nous nous joignos a votre famille pour le Prayer Meeting At

De tout coeur avec vous.

16 Septembre 2001

*

Dear Friends,

It is with sadness that we learnt about the passing away

Page 115

of your brother Abhay. He had been able to overcome the trials following Mother's departure and showed this creative spirit which astounded us when we visited his office, already many years ago.

We had very much appreciated his warm welcome; this memory remains, luminous, in our heart.

His passing away, on 14^th August, eve of Sri Aurobindo's birth anniversary, is not without significance.

In our heart and thought, we join you and your family for the Prayer Meeting in September.

With all our heart with you.

Page 116

Suprabha-di,

Vraiment merci pour ce livret dedie a Abhay Singh que N. vient de nous envoyer de votre part. J'ai eu une belle emotion en le lisant, cette emotion si particuliere qui vient de Tame.

Mon mari et moi n'avions jamais rencontre Abhay Singh au cours des annees ou nous vivions en Inde, mais nous avons fait sa connaissance a travers nos lectures de V Agenda

Encore grand merci d'avoir pense a nous offrir ce livre, nous en sommes tres touches. Amities

30 Octobre 2002

*

Hearty thanks for the booklet dedicated to Abhay Singh which N. sent us recently on your behalf. I had a fine feeling while reading, this feeling so special that comes from the soul.

My husband and myself had never met Abhay Singh during all the years that we lived in India, but we came to know him from reading the "Agenda" and Sujata-di's "Chronicles". Hence we know about the special place that Abhay Singh occupied in Mother's heart.

Page 117

Again a big thanks for having thought of presenting us with this booklet, we are very much touched. Love

Chere Sumitra-di, cher Bernard,

Je vous remercie de m'avoir communique ce recueil de temoignages sur Abhay-da: je vais le passer a Rathin qui vient d'avoir une petite intervention et aura besoin de telle lecture, egalement...

Une surprise de taille: la decouverte de deux soeurs poetes! Quelle fraicheur, quelle elegance dans un accent si intime.

8 Novembre 2002

*

Page 118

Dear Sumitra-di, dear Bernard,

I thank you for sharing with me the collection of testimonies on Abhay-da. I will pass it on to Rathin who just had a minor operation and will need such reading equally.

A great surprise: the discovery of the two poet sisters! What freshness, what elegance in such an intimate accent.

Page 119

Tributes in English

You went to your new abode in a chariot of Light

And discovered a wonder-world of Truth and Delight.

The Lord Himself welcomed you and the Mother with Her Smile

of Grace

You dwell now for ever in Their Eternal Love and Divine Embrace.

You prostrated yourself at Their Lotus Feet with a joyous surrender

Then went to sleep in Her Divine Lap awaiting the Golden Calendar.

One day They will return in Their body of Glory and change this

earth of ours

You will come back as Their standard-bearer and gardener of

perfumed flowers.

We all look forward to that Supreme Advent and the long-awaited

Incarnation

In the meantime rest in Her Lap, Rajabhai, and dream of that blissful

transformation.

Oh, we all love you more than words can ever express

And pray that we never forget that precious and infinite Grace.

My dearest Sumitradi & Bernardda,

I don't have any words with which to console you—I know, I have seen, I have experienced how close and loving the bond is, which exists between all of you brothers and

Page 123

sisters and my heart goes out to you at this great loss. It was so sudden and totally unexpected and so the shock was greater, I feel, for all of us.

One thing that we know for certain is that Abhubhai's soul is with The Mother and we don't want anything else. Also, to soothe our heart we remember that he did not suffer at all. What a blessing and Grace of our Sweet Mother.

I keep wanting to talk to you about the golden days of our childhood and youth that we spent so happily together. Abhubhai's face is swimming in front of my eyes and his cheerfulness and his laughter...

I will write to Supdi (Suprabhadi) soon and then I will enclose a letter to Sujatajiji. Until then, if you speak to them, give them all our pranams and love.

With love, pranams and best wishes,

My dear Dhanavanti,

I have just received word from Kamal that Abhay Singh has passed away. Please know that I hold you close to my heart and thoughts at this time.

I greatly admired Abhay Singh. He was a refined gentleman, dignified, with a sense of taste, aesthetics and a very developed love for beauty and the arts. I shall truly miss his lovely presence, the warmth of his smile when I visit the ashram. He is surely now in the Mother's all consuming embrace.

Page 124

Please extend my love to the Nahar family.

With my love to you,

In Her Light

16 August 2001

My dear Sumitra,

We were deeply shocked and grieved to learn about the sudden demise of our dear Abhayda. We have lost two dear and near ones, one after another within one month. This is destiny. We pray to the Almighty that his soul may rest in peace.

Abhayda will always be remembered as someone extremely affectionate and caring. Yours affectionately

20 August 2001

Respected Sri Noren-da and Suprabha-didi,

We are deeply shocked to know today about the sudden and sad demise of Abhay-da. We couldn't believe his untimely departure. We all pray God to grant eternal peace to the departed soul and give you all courage and fortitude to face this irreparable loss.

Abhay-da was truly a dedicated Ashramke and his work and respect towards the Divine Mother and Sri Aurobindo

Page 125

shall always be remembered. We offer our heart-felt tribute to this great son of the Mother.

Please accept our deepest condolence.

22 August 2001

My dear Noren Babaji,

My mind goes back to all those happy times of childhood, where receiving love and gifts from you, Abhay Babaji and bhuas was so wonderful. My bookshelf has a number of books given by Abhay Babaji, and the wonderful person who filled me up with knowledge and happy reading is no longer there is difficult. It is so difficult that it took me a long time to writing to you.

24 August, 2001

I am in receipt of your Birthday Blessings signed by all of you including Abhay Singh whom we have lost on the eve of Sri Aurobindo's Birthday. The blessings of all of you together with the blessings of The Mother and the prasada

Page 126

I appreciate (it) very much. This card and Blessings I will preserve (it) throughout my life.

When I saw your brother's body I could not control myself: it was having serenity as well as I was feeling that he was talking to me Silently. I was fortunate to see him due to sister's message otherwise I would have missed this occasion.

With warm regards.

24 August 2001

Dear Sumitradi and Bernard,

Just now I received the information about the gathering in Kolkata for Prayer for Abhay Singh da's memory, which will be held on 16 September at 10.30 a.m. As the Sweet Mother personally appointed me for the last ceremony of the Departed Souls of her children with the Mantra given by Her, that you have seen during your stay at Shanti Nibash, there will be a meditation in front of the Relics of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo by repeating the Mantra 120 times according to the Mother's personal direction, which will be held at the same time on 16 September.

Always in the ocean of Her Compassion...

Her loving child,

Page 127

Dearest Family,

Thanks for telling us how magnificent he looked, his face full of light...

Yes, now he is not with us physically but he will always be so much with us showering on us his smiling love, care and affection. But nothing can replace his absence. Rajabhai will be immensely missed by everyone. The void he has left in us is so big and still difficult to realise. But as we are sure he is with Sri Aurobindo and the sweet Mother...

August 29, 2001

Respected Shri Noren-da

I was deeply shocked and in deep sorrow to receive the sad news of the passing away of Abhay-da on the 14^th August, 2001 at Pondicherry. This message was conveyed to me through Shri Kiran Lama of Buddhagaya on my arrival at New Delhi on 17^th after visiting Chennai and Pondicherry.

I, along with Shri Kiran-ji have had the opportunity of meeting Abhay-da and you all during our visit to the Ashram last year in July and again this year between 5-7 August. And it was only on Tuesday the 7^th evening we along with you and Abhay-da had met for tea at Suprabha-di's

Page 128

quarters. And a week later, Tuesday the 14^th, Abhay-da was no more amongst us. I did not realize then, that this was to be our last meeting. Kiran-ji had sung a Rabindra Sangeet too, that evening—aajie anando sandhya...

Our meeting with Abhay-da was since last year, when we visited the Ashram, as per reference of Sanjay Dugar of Kolkata, and though it was for a very brief period on both the occasions. He was so loving and caring, friendly in nature, and would tell us stories of the good old past days relating to the Ashram, etc. which just seemed to us as fairy tales. We now miss him very much, and especially on our next visit to the Ashram sometime next year.

I pray to the Almighty that may his soul rest in Peace.

My heartfelt condolences to you all in this great loss and

to one and all associated with Abhay-da.

31 August 2001

Esteemed Norenbabu,

I am shocked to know that Abhaybabu is no more.

A perfect gentleman, highly cultured, sweet with words, deeply committed to the mission of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, always rightly proud of his family tradition and contribution, it was always a sort of an unforgettable spiritual experience to talk to him. It is extremely difficult for me to believe and yet there is no option but to accept

Page 129

that the inevitable has after all happened. I am deprived of a towering association. Though younger in years, he was a source of great inspiration for me.

Yours sincerely,

31 August, 2001

My dear Sumitradi,

We shall be with you in your prayers on the 16^th of Sept. It is with love and esteem that we think of Abhay Singhda; he helped me a lot in constructing different structures while we were doing "geometrie dans l'espace". He always welcomed with a smile and open arms. Though we know how much is his loss, we also know and feel consoled that he is safe with the Mother.

Give our regards to Bernard; with lots of love to you from the three of us,

Yours,

Great beings come, lesser ones try to follow. And some just pretend to. Abhay Singh was among those who tried; he gave himself and worked with all his generous heart. Some wise men are fond of saying that the results of Yoga and sadhana are not visible, but sometimes they are, glaringly so.

Page 130

When you arrogate to yourself the power to rule over others through fear and falsehood, be it in the name of spirituality, you show what you are. When you fight the rule of fear, you show what you are. Abhay Singh showed. And he fought. He would have been sweet and lovable anyway, but courage to stand up to scheming and threat while most others looked the other way, discoursed on Yoga or simply slept, is what set him apart.

"One has to take sides for the Truth," said Sri Aurobindo. He called it "loyalty to Truth." Abhay Singh took sides, regardless of the consequences. He knew the meaning of loyalty. And so even when he fell, he stood.

4 October 2001

My dear Nirmal-da;

Dear Shri Noren Singh Nahar,

It was with a deep sorrow that we learned about the passing away of your esteemed brother Abhay Singh Nahar. His departure has caused a grievous loss to your family, but also to all of us, especially the followers of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo. We all know that he was a great source of inspiration and leadership among the fellow-beings around him and proved himself to be a worthy son of a worthy father. We convey our sincerest sympathy to you and your

Page 131

family in this great bereavement. We are sure the Grace and protection of the Mother and the Lord Sri Aurobindo are constantly with the departed soul, our Abhay Singh Nahar, till he reaches the Goal, and even thereafter.

May the blessings and Protection of the Mother and Sri Aurobindo be with all of you always.

Yours Sincerely

5 September 2001

Dearest Suprabha-di,

"Namaste"

I was very sad to hear of the passing of your brother, Abhay Singh; I will always remember his generosity of spirit. He gave so much of himself to others. What a gift, a rare gift he gave us all.

Warm affection and love

8 January 2003

"I am stronger than death and greater than my fate;

My love shall outlast the world, doom falls from me

Helpless against my immortality.....

Life only is, or death is life disguised,

Life a short death until by life we are surprised...."

Sri Aurobindo

Page 132

"Death is a question Nature puts continually to life and its reminder to it that it has not yet found itself."

Sri Aurobindo

Dear Suprabha-di, Sri Noren Singh-da,

On August 23, "The Statesman" brought us the news. It was quite a jolt. When my brother pointed it out, I couldn't say a word nor could read the whole thing. Eyes filled up instantly—they do even now as I write.

Abhay da. That benign sweet smile and warm welcome shining in his eyes every time I happened to be in that house

-his cheerful affectionate greeting welcomed me.

-now is just not

-makes me sad to believe.

The suddenness of it must have made it harder for you all to bear.

I trust the protecting, healing umbrella of Ma-Sri Aurobindo s love under which you are shall give you the required poise and fortitude.

Our heartfelt condolence, prayers at this time.

In the Divine Mother's love,

Page 133

Abhay-the achiever

by Raman Reddy

Abhay Singh Nahar, who was a student in our centre of education from 1943 to 1950, made important contributions to the Ashram's development over the years.

Abhay Singh Nahar passed away on 14 August 2001. He collapsed in front of the Ashram Laundry gate at around 5 p. m. Though he was rushed to the Ashram Nursing Home in an auto, he didn't survive the massive heart-attack which was the cause of his death. Strangely, the auto driver didn't take any payment; on the contrary, the auto drivers' association brought a big wreath to pay him their last respects. The CITU (CPI (M)

Page 135

premises in Pavitra's office, later shifted across the street to present Atelier premises), Smithy, Paint godown, Petrol Bunk on the beach road, Madras car service, Transports Department (by tractor) and Nandanam where lie pumped in thousands of rupees to clear the bushes to make a playground in Paradise for the children, and for growing the biggest roses that I have ever seen in Ashram gardens. This he did much against the wishes of his seniors, but Abhay-da (as people called him and even now remember him fondly) was a man of great will-power, and lie believed in what he did and wouldn't listen to anybody except the Mother. Perhaps that's why he later got into trouble with the Trustees after Mother passed away - he was a king (the Naliars came from a royal family) and could never subordinate himself to anybody else. When he finally resigned under pressure, he handed over the keys to the Managing Trustee, he didn't cling any more to his seat and embarrass the authorities with threats of retribution or litigation which, I must say, is the true mark of aristocracy. A true king not only rules with authority but also abdicates his throne with dignity.

When I started to work in Atelier in 1978, Abhay-da had already left the scene and the next generation had taken over the reins. But the stamp of the previous years was strongly there-the incredible array of threading taps (every thread of every size was there); drills (from 2 mm to 2 inches with all the sizes in between, metric and inch); the well stocked spares (after a few years we ended with spares of cars that had disappeared in the market); and lastly the measuring

Page 136

tools (the micrometers, verniers, compression testing gauges, wheel alignment equipment, etc.) The small portable reboring machine fascinated me above all. The Ashram was the first to do engine reboring work in Pondicherry and we continued to do it until the eighties, until the new recruits (to the Ashram) didn't have the patience or the skill to learn this difficult work. Abhay-da did this reboring work himself before passing the responsibility to Subodh who became the reboring expert in the years to come. Then there were the few drivers who had survived the strike that followed Abhay-da's resignation. They never stopped being nostalgic about the good old times. "Those were the days when there were a dozen drivers and we had so many vehicles - cars, buses, vans, tractors - with plenty of incentives. Now...", the driver generally finished with a gesture of despair at the present management. The Ashramites also remembered him fondly; I never heard a word of criticism against him in the fifteen years that I spent in the workshop. Wliat made him so large-hearted that he could accommodate practically everybody under him, paid or voluntary workers, technical or non-technical staff, diligent or lackadaisical Ashramites ? What made him succeed so well in the heyday of the physical growth of the Ashram in the sixties ? when I asked him this question indirectly, he recollected those early years of the Ashram. He recalled how incapable he was when he settled here in 1940:

I had not done any study, I had not even passed matriculation when I came here. I did not even know how to speak well. I told Mother, "I like you, will you keep me?" That is

Page 137

how it started. She told me to work in the workshop where lathe work was being done. At that time there was a very old lathe; nowadays those machines are obsolete.

This was when Atelier was in the Ashram compound?

Yes, Ashram compound, I am speaking of that period for the present. So I was working, cleaning old cars—there was arrangement for washing them, a pipe was kept there. And then making shutters and other things for Golconde; I was helping as a payya

What was your age at that time?

I was sixteen. I was born in 1924, so in 1940 I was sixteen. But I was coming here from the age of eleven. I came in 1935. So from that time I am in the Ashram. I was doing whatever work was given to me. Pavitra-da would call me to work in his laboratory where we were making tooth powder, face powder, blue water for eyes and hair lotion which Mother used to give to Nolini-da and other people. Then pastilles, that is lozenges, which Sri Aurobindo used to take. For Mother, there was another type. We used to make them, Sujata and myself.

How long did you work as a payya?

Number of years...

Four to five years?

Oh, more! Then one fine morning there was some trouble

Page 138

between Mrityunjoy and Pavitra-da. Pavitra-da called me upstairs to work and Mrityunjoy called me down to the workshop. I obeyed them quietly. Then Mother came and called me upstairs immediately. She said, "You are going to listen to Pavitra and not to Mrityunjoy." So when Mrityunjoy left the workshop, Pavitra-da was in charge of it.

(Abhay-da was given full charge of the workshop by the Motlier when Pavitra became the Director of the Centre of Education. After a few years, the workshop in the main Ashram compound was turned into Pavitra's office and Abhay-da shifted his office to the present Atelier premises. How did he spread his wings?)

It was always a period of expansion from '65 onwards, wasn't it?

In 65 it was always expanding.

Were you expanding with the consent of the Mother?

I will give you an example. There was a shortage of water in Pondicherry, so we had to supply water. I was given the job of supplying water to a few people. After that, the number of people increased to so many that the tractor had to be used the whole day in order to supply water. So we wanted one trailer and another tractor. I asked Mother for it. She said, "Yes, you can have." I got a second-hand one and with that we used to supply water. So things went on like this. It was...

Page 139

As necessities arose...

That is how the Ashram has grown. Somebody takes interest in a particular thing and he is given encouragement. The petrol station is another example. A man comes from Madras and asks us, "We are willing to give you this petrol station. Will you take it?" I didn't even know those people. I was never even interested. But Mother said, "Yes". So this is how things happened. Then I hear from a particular person that I don't listen to Mother and Mother didn't want the petrol station, that it was me who was insisting on taking it. So I wrote to Her saying that I was interested in it only if Mother was willing to take it; otherwise I was not interested.

But you wanted it also, you also wanted to expand.

If it came, it was okay because that was to be our first commercial venture.

I see, the petrol station was your first commercial venture.

That was our first commercial venture and for three or four years, it didn't run in profit. It was very difficult and Mother said no for the money. So I had to start the petrol station without any money. At that time the price of petrol was not much; nowadays it is much more, today it is different. We were doing Laljibhai's construction, so he said I could take 10,000 from there. I could return the money when the house would be built. There was another gentleman, Madanlal Himatsingka; he also helped me with 10,000 or 20,000. At that time, 30,000 was more than enough.

Page 140

Madhav Pandit also helped. He said he could arrange for a loan. When I told Mother about it, She was so angry about having to take a loan. Then, finally, this alternative arrangement was found.

[Another example:] We had a lorry. I was unable to keep the lorry busy. So I asked Mother, "Can we do some construction work?" Mother was very angry with me, "Why are you organizing another construction department?"— "Mother, I didn't know what to do with the lorry. So I thought of making good use of it." After a few months, suddenly, Mother tells me, "You wanted to do some construction work. You can start now. You see, these [Ashram] boys, when there is some construction, they go away to Group [for physical education]. You can't leave like that during concreting." .

[Yet another example:] One fine morning, She wrote a letter to me saying Rishabhchand required a little rest. So I could take up his work of Furniture Service. Then She told me about transport, "You are sending the tractor to Cazanove, why not send it to Le Faucheur at the same time? Otherwise it has to go unnecessarily twice." The result was that I was able to do twice the work in this way.

[Miracles happened:] Agriculture had started [in the Ashram Farms where tractors were sent to plough the fields]. One tractor was given by Laljibhai. Then one was purchased from Madras. Then, in the meantime, some more land had come, so we wanted another tractor. Mother told us to write for another tractor, so we wrote to Trichy. We placed the

Page 141

order, and after some time, one or two months later, the reply came saying we could get the tractor. Mother said, "I don't have any money." I said, "Doesn't matter, Mother, we still have not committed ourselves." So we wrote a letter saying that we were not interested at present. But next day, She comes and tells me to go immediately to Madras and see one gentleman. "Tell him that Mother wants this amount for this tractor and he will say 'Yes' or 'No'." I went there and told him and he said, "Yes". So I came back and told Mother immediately. Mother said, "Go to Trichy and get the tractor." When I went there I saw they were just going to allot the tractor to somebody else but they said, "You take it." So this is how things happened.

From Madurai, one Mr. Ramachandran, a top man there, came here and saw how things were kept and issued. He was astonished at the organisation. He asked me whether I had been to America to learn all this. But it had come automatically, and then we used our common sense and had our own way of doing things. The parts were arranged by car and then by different sections, gearbox, engine, etc. That was easy. And then we used to have one extra engine. So when there was a breakdown, we simply replaced the engine. Like that we had 15 days time to make the engine ready. The advantage at that time was that we had many Austin cars for which spare parts were available. Similarly for the Ambassador, we kept everything extra. The result was long life. At that time, the body of the Ambassador was much better than what it is now.

Page 142

Who bought all those instruments? All those taps and dies of various sizes?

They were bought when the workshop was in the Ashram. There were three or four almirahs in which Pavitra-da used to keep his things. The same things were arranged in the long store upstairs in the workshop. They were well organised so that you could get immediately whatever you wanted. A lot of helpers were there to do the work.

At the time, in Pondicherry, there was no other workshop. So we had to get things from outside. Whenever there was an exhibition, I used to go and see it and then ask the Mother, "Can we buy these instruments? We don't get them here." So that is how I got that reboring machine. Subodh used to work on it.

But you started the reboring work.

Reboring was started by Vishwanath-da, he showed me how to do it. I can't take the credit for myself.

(Abhay-da's strength lay in pooling together the men and resources of the various departments under him. He redistributed freely the money from one department to another with the Mother's sanction. Wlien he suggested once to the Mother to separate the departments under him, Mother disapproved of the idea, pointing out the advantage of keeping them together.)

One thing that strikes me is that there was constant expenditure and Mother had hardly any money and yet somehow

Page 143

money was coming from here and there. And you were building a perfect workshop, somebody else was building...

I will tell you. Cars were coming and going from Madras. We were charging Rs. 80 for the trip to the airport. Sometimes we earned up to three to four thousand rupees. We were spending that money with Mother's consent. Nothing was done simply at my own whim though She gave us the freedom and the trust. We could be very unscrupulous if we wanted because She simply gave us the money without any accounts. We had the full freedom to misuse. But I tell you, not a single paisa went unaccounted for. Never. Even in the use of cars, I had the full freedom. Once I went to Bangalore and Mysore without telling Mother, I told her after coming back.

I used to take advantage of the money that we had not spent. Mother used to give me every week 5000 rupees for petrol and other things. So the money we had not spent would accumulate and after two or three months, it would become 30,000. So when She couldn't give me the money, I would ask Her, "Mother, I have 30,000 lying with me, can I use it?" "That would be very good." and things went on until the 30,000 became nil.

I started Nandanam garden. Lots of money were needed. In the rainy season when there is less transport work, I used to send the tractor there to clear the jungle. The debris from demolished houses was used to make the road. Bhaduri-da was there. He was a genius. I told him, "Look here, you have

Page 144

the brain. I am giving you this 765 [Massey Ferguson] tractor, utilise it to clear the jungle. Do whatever you like, don't ask me how to do it." So he tried two times, three times, and finally the roots were coming out like butter. For any emergency like that, I used to ask Bhaduri-da. He was there on one side and Vishwanath-da was there on the other side, and it was going on like that.

The new generation hardly knows about Abhay-da because he kept aloof from Ashram life for a quarter century, 1977-2001. Not many know or can even visualize his rise to eminence in the management of the technical services of the Ashram, because every single department formerly under him is now a separate department with its own management, and I suppose, with its own difficulties of management. It is common knowledge, given the very special circumstances, how difficult is management in the Ashram. Of course, the Mother was physically present in those days, which made all the difference, but Mother also needed instruments to do Her work. As an elderly friend of mine remarked, "Mother brought her own team to do her work." He was not referring to the very old guard - Nolini, Pavitra, Amrita and others -who are known to have been with the Mother through many lives, but the later batch which was responsible for the more external growth of the Ashram. There can be no doubt that Abhay-da was a member of that team.

Page 145

Memorial Service

Today, we have assembled here to pay homage to Abhay Singh Nahar, and it is a privilege to get an opportunity to pay my respects to him and say a few words about the life of my beloved grand uncle.

He was born on 30^th April, 1924 in a house in this very Indian Mirror Street. When he was five years old, his father, Prithwi Singh Nahar, in order to provide better education to his children, took them to Santiniketan, established by Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore.

Abhay Singh's sister, Sujata Nahar, narrates a notable incident during their stay at Santiniketan in an article written by her: "On the eve of the Durgapuja holidays, the Harijans of Santiniketan prepared "khichdi" (a dish of rice/dal preparation) with due care and cleanliness which was eaten with relish by the teachers and students of Shantiniketan. The newspapers of Calcutta published a list of all such persons which included the name of Abhay Singh from the Nahar family. Later, when he came to Calcutta, his elders refused to share the same seat with him. Pained by such attitude of the people, Abhay Singh's grandmother rebuked them by saying that they had failed to understand the cardinal principles of Jainism which advocates no discrimination between caste and creed and the fact that all are equal. Everybody realised their mistake and kept quiet."

Gurudev Rabindranath Tagore had special love and affection for Abhay Singh, and wrote a beautiful poem on

Page 149

him, which we all will hear in the form of a song a little later.

His father, Prithwi Singh, could not settle in Santiniketan also and went out in search of a higher spiritual guide and met Sri Aurobindo and the Mother whom he recognised as his spiritual gurus and finally settled down in Pondicherry.

In 1940, at the age of 16, Abhay Singh finally settled at Pondicherry Ashram on a permanent basis, and his devotion to work and sincerity brought him very close to the Mother.

He started work in the Workshop of the Ashram with French disciple Pavitrada while continuing with his studies simultaneously under him. Gradually, the Mother entrusted him with as many as nineteen Ashram departments which he managed very successfully. He also had the privilege of driving the car in which the Mother travelled. When Sports activities started at the Ashram, he was the first flag bearer.

He spent a great deal of labour and patience to convert a wild shrubbery and stony soil into a beautiful garden and the Mother named it "Nandanam". The Mother entrusted him with the work of clearing and expanding the "Vinayak Mandir" of Pondicherry. Once he had a vision that Lord Ganesh wanted to grant him a wish and he sought a blessing to be able to run the garden "Nandanam" in a proper way. It seems that Lord Ganesha kept his commitment because when Abhay Singh was facing difficulty to run "Nandanam" due to shortage of funds, a person suddenly gave him exactly the sum of money required.

Page 150

Divine spiritual powers developed in his sadhana due to close proximity to the Mother. He also came in contact with several great men and Yogis, which helped in his yogic sadhana. In course of time, he turned out as an outstanding personality and an ardent sadhak of the Ashram.

Broad-minded, ever smiling, soft spoken but ready to meet and interact with people, Abhay Singh always came forward to help the poor and downtrodden people. He was very fond of music. Songs of Rabindranath Tagore, Ramprasad, Rajanikanta and Nazrul were his favourites.

After the Mother left her physical body in 1973, he had to face a lot of opposition and obstacles in the Ashram, but always maintained calmness and good humour.

At the age of 77, on 14^th August, 2001 everybody's favourite "Rajabhai" left his earthly body and went to his heavenly abode to unite with his Lord Sri Aurobindo and Mother.

He may not be physically present amongst us, but will remain in our heart for ever.

Rabindranath Tagore

Page 151

Page 153