Read Amrita's correspondence with The Mother - from 1919 to 1955, but most of the exchanges took place between 1928 and 1936..
The Mother : correspondence
THEME/S
Originally named Aravamudachari Ayengar, Amrita was born on 19 September 1895 in the village of Kazhiperampakkam, Tamil Nadu, fifteen kilometers from Pondicherry. When he was ten, he moved to Pondicherry for his education. Three years later, he saw Sri Aurobindo for the first time. From then on, he became a regular visitor at Sri Aurobindo’s house until 1915, when he left for Madras to complete his higher studies.
Amrita returned to Pondicherry in April 1919 to live permanently with Sri Aurobindo. Soon after the Ashram was formed in November 1926, Amrita became its general manager. In 1954, he was appointed a member of the first Ashram Trust board. For fifty years, from 1919 until his passing on 31 January 1969, he gave himself in service to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.
Amrita’s correspondence with the Mother revolves around his work. As the Ashram manager, he discharged a remarkable range of duties. Every day he sent reports to the Mother, describing his activities and pointing out any problems. Through her replies she guided Amrita with clarity and firmness. On his part he served her faithfully to the best of his ability. The correspondence reveals his dedication to the Mother and her role as an administrator skilled in dealing with practical affairs.
This correspondence covers the period from 1919 to 1955, but most of the exchanges took place between 1928 and 1936. The correspondence is largely in English, but a considerable number of entries are in French and appear here in translation.
(Letter of the Mother from Japan in 1919)
My dear Amrita
We remember you very well indeed, and were most happy to receive your kind letter and also the photographs. These are simply splendid, especially the one standing. The expression is wonderful, and all our friends here, to whom we showed it, are enthusiastic. We will have it published in a magazine.
We are eagerly expecting A.G.’s1 letter. But meanwhile we lose no time in making the last arrangements for our departure. Before leaving Japan we wish to establish the regular cargo service between Japan and Pondicherry of which you have heard already through Saurin, I suppose. It is this important matter, not yet settled, which prevents us from at once fixing the date of our departure. But we are hurrying as much as we can.
We are glad to hear that you are back in Pondicherry, near the Master, and managing the Arya during Saurin’s absence. It is with great pleasure that we shall meet you once more.
Will you please present to A.G. the enclosed photographs with our most loving greetings.
Very sincerely
Mirra P. Richard
7 November 1919
Be truthful, sincere, awake.
3 December 1928
Be simple, sincere, straightforward.
4 December 1928
When carrying dishes, servants are bound to rob. To expect otherwise from them is childish, and no complaint to this effect is of any use.
Consequently those who do not eat their meals in the dining-room and find their dishes meddled with by the servants, have the choice between accepting this misfortune or themselves taking their dishes from the dining-room.
This is especially for those who are lodged inside the compound.
c. 1928
Amrita
When you go tomorrow for the lime, you must not speak at all about the houses to be rented. Even if the man wants to speak of it, you will say that you know nothing about it.
28 October 1929
(For Duraiswami)
(1) For your health, the most important thing is to get cured. I shall speak of it with you when you come next.
(2) Pearls and peroxide can wait until you come.
(3) As for the dinner, it is no use upsetting your stomach and losing a day or two here into the bargain. Better excuse yourself.
Expecting to see you in perfect health next week.
With love
October 1929
To Amrita
Say to Duraiswami not to trust the doctors.
c. 1929
Amrita,
Champaklal will explain to you his complaint about the servant. I would like you to scold her and tell her that she must work properly and when she is told to, otherwise we cannot keep her.
c. 1930
I expected him to go to the hotel — but if he insists on being put up in the asram, one room can be given in the Hequet House; for the food he must manage himself.
To the Christian servants I was always giving a half-day holiday on Christmas.
December 1931
If Calve does not want to repair the house unless we advance the money, it is better to keep what is still safe for Rs. 15 a month until the whole thing crumbles down.
Inform Chandulal.
4 January 1932
(Note to a property owner)
Regarding the disastrous condition of the wall separating the house you have rented to her from your own compound. This wall has crumbled down on your side endangering the solidity of the building on our side. We trust you will do the needful urgently as the present condition is dangerous to life and property.
6 January 1932
Mother,
Sarala complains that Ammani is very irregular in attendance [details given]. She is asking for an advance of Rs. 6. Am I to do anything? Shall I detain the advance without paying Ammani for a day?
You can say to Ammani that if she does not become regular I refuse to give her any advance.
12 January 1932
The work certificate in question is for Mounousami of the Boulangerie. I will send the certificate to you tonight for signature. I am sending herewith a rough draft for correction and approval.
(On the rough draft prepared by Amrita, the Mother crossed out the words “obliged to leave this place for reasons of health”, and commented:)
This may prevent him from finding some other work.
A sum of Rs. 5 is reserved for the five clerks of the Goods Department of the Railway Station. Generally, it is given to them by me. They came last year to the Ashram and took it. Balanarayan proposes that the amount may be given to them in the station itself. If so, is it necessary that I should go to the station for the purpose? Or may the affair be left in the hands of Balanarayan, as only he knows the persons concerned?
It is better that you should go with Balanarayan to give the money.
15 January 1932
Sada informs me just at this moment that the old tenant is reoccupying the house next to the V.G.H. on Monday next. He has no intention of giving up the house at all.
I see only one way out of the difficulty. It is to buy the house. The lady can be told that if she wants 1,200 for her house we will buy it and on that ground she can send the old tenant away before he occupies.
(I am ready to give 1,550 to finish with it.)
24 January 1932
The duty on things like typewriters is 30 percent. It is difficult to say that the one in our hands costs less than say Rs. 150. The Customs Office has a price list of things, so the duty is not likely to be less than Rs. 40 to 45. This amount is recoverable and will be recovered from the Customs as soon as the machine comes back to us. In the meanwhile who is to advance the amount? Will you permit me to approach Duraiswami for it?
I do not like that.
The duty is too high and the risks too much. It is better to give up the idea. If the spare part can be found in Madras, Duraiswami might bring it next time he comes and it will be refitted here. Inform Purani.
6 February 1932
Regarding the bullocks:
(1) Can Krishnayya ask Rama Reddy to send the bullocks with a cart?
I suppose so.
(2) If the bullocks are to come, we have to arrange for hay, for a shed, etc.
Before doing anything we must first be sure that the bullocks will come.
8 February 1932
Sivalingam has given up his oil bath for a fort-night or so. The oil that was bought for him is with him unused. He asked me to put the following before you: As he will not be using oil for besmearing himself, the soap-nut powder is of no use to him. Therefore, he prays to you to let him know whether he would be allowed the use of shampoo powder and the scented hair oil from the “Stores”.
Yes, he can have them. Prepare a chit for him and I shall sign it.
He is suffering very badly from what he calls rheumatism in one of his legs.
Why does he not go to the dispensary for treatment?
14 February 1932
Where to put Duraiswami’s car that will come this evening?
I don’t have the slightest idea!
20 February 1932
Dr. Aroule desires to show his house to someone. He sent his chauffeur yesterday to ascertain whether it would be possible to do it. I replied: “I cannot allow you to take somebody into the house without first taking Mother’s sanction and fixing a time for it.” I promised to give him an answer this morning. He may come himself to receive it.
Ask him why he wants to show his house? The only valid reason is if he wants to sell it — and if he wants to sell we are buyers.
23 February 1932
Regarding the leave and absence of paid workers: Leave will be given only on request with a notice giving reasons. Absence other than that due to illness will be counted and wages deducted. A doctor’s certificate will have to be submitted by the employee in case of absence due to illness.
It is better, rather than deduct their pay, to put as a condition that they should replace themselves (when the leave is granted).
24 February 1932
I went to Maya’s house at 8.00 p.m. I found only one light burning in the courtyard. I was told that the one light on the ground floor burns only till 9.00 p.m. But I am inclined to believe that there are short circuits here and there and therefore there is much consumption of current.
You mean leakage I suppose. The best is to ask to see the meter and ascertain that it is not moving when all the lights are off.
Montbrun asked me why we were engaging a new set of workers. I told him that the old set did not agree to the new conditions laid down by us. I added that the new régime with its new conditions promised us better prospects in the matter of efficiency and better work.
It is well understood, I believe, that new people are taken only if the old set refuses to work under the new conditions. For nothing proves that the new set will be more satisfactory.
25 February 1932
In case a new servant is to be employed, I would prefer that he is given the work of the Meditation House as his main work. In addition, he could be given other minor chores, but the Dairy work should not be given to him.
And then another man for the dairy work?! How many more? . . .
One thing strikes me as very interesting: Savarhy must go; Patchai will leave the place; Roshan has to go; Dhanam had to leave; Moutalle is useless; Chellu is troublesome etc.
Quite right; they will all be spoiled one after the other — “à mauvais maître, mauvais serviteurs”2 is a common saying in French.
27 February 1932
Amrita, you must pay the blacksmith boy for his days of absence due to the accident at work.
28 February 1932
Dyuman seems to have objection in sending the new servant, Joseph, with dishes to the ladies of the Ashram. Therefore he did not send the new man with the dishes this afternoon. Perhaps it is better not to allow the man inside the Asram for a few days, during which time we can observe and study him. I don’t mean to say that he is untrustworthy, but he gives me a feeling of being an adventurer.
What is this? We have had enough of this type already!
29 February 1932
I had suggested pastilles de Lithine to take one after each meal. The lithiné water is good; but for lazy digestion the pastilles are also very effective.
5 March 1932
The landlord informs me that only the bare land with its small dilapidated building will be given for rent—not the rest. He will come again to see me a little before six this evening.
This does not sound promising. Such a restricted occupancy of the land seems to me not worth more than Rs. 20 a year. For what guarantee shall we have that all the good manure will not be robbed away? It appears rather foolish to give such a high price to have our manure utilised “gratis” by others!
Amrita, it seems that Dharmam has been doing very good work. When you pay her next Saturday you can give a tip of annas 7 a day for the number of days she did extra work.
7 March 1932
(Amrita sent the Mother a five-page summary of his horoscope reading by a Pondicherry astrologer. She commented:)
It shines by its inconsistency, incoherence, contradictions and nonsense.
Better not to be impressed by this worthless and untrue reading of your nature.
13 March 1932
If Govindbhai asks you for letters or messages do not give him anything private.
15 March 1932
The cobbler Couppouswamy is back again in Pondicherry. He wishes to work for the Ashram on a monthly salary. Are there other things you wish to know from him?
Apart from asking what wages he wants, you can tell him that, in case we take him, he will have to do the work that is given to him (repair and new, whatever it is) and to attend for regular hours.
19 March 1932
How is it that the bolts of the milk pans are all getting lost? This won’t do. It will end by a serious accident; this kind of carelessness is intolerable; the pans must be mended at once.
30 March 1932
(To an Ashram garden worker who decided to quit his work because his request for an advance of two rupees had not been granted)
A good servant does not give up his work in a bad mood because his superiors have not acted exactly as he wishes. It was a serious mistake to quit like this because of the refusal to give you immediately the two rupees that you asked for. But I do not want to hold that against you because of your many years of service and your regularity in work. You may therefore return to work starting from tomorrow, but naturally we will be obliged to deduct from your pay the days you were absent.
In the future, when you want an advance in addition to that of the 15th, you should give at least one day’s notice so that I can decide.
Balanarayan asks your permission to go to some village nearby tomorrow in order to learn swimming in a tank. It seems some of the coolies of the Building Department have promised to teach him.
Certainly NOT. If he goes in spite of this it will be at his own risk as I can’t answer for what might happen.
4 April 1932
I forgot to mention last night about Ammani’s request to you for a loan of Rs. 20 in order to meet the expenses of the removal of the corpse of her father, who died yesterday evening. I have not given Ammani the slightest hope of getting the money.
No money to be given. Sarala must be informed that Ammani will not go to her.
6 April 1932
Today is the Payas3 day. I propose the following arrangement: (details given).
Yes, it is all right. But you must see that, while waiting to be boiled, the milk does not get dirty. It seems that very often all sorts of uncongenial things are found in it.
11 April 1932
(Regarding the rent of a house)
For Monsieur Charles Passagne
I am quite astounded by this change of conditions after everything had been agreed. I had accepted the previous conditions, but I cannot accept these new ones.
25 April 1932
It seems that the milkmen are smoking inside the dairy itself—this is intolerable and must be stopped at once. They must finish their smoke before entering the house.
28 April 1932
Tobacco is the symbol of falsehood because you produce smoke out of your mouth! (says Sri Aurobindo)
8 May 1932
Chandulal was asking who would show to the carpenter the work that is to be done in the “terrain” house. I have suggested your name — what do you say about it?
19 May 1932
The milkmen are not coming. It is 5 a.m. What am I expected to do?
If the milkmen don’t come we will have no milk today. We refuse to yield to their fancies and fetch milk from their house.
24 May 1932
The coolie in charge of the bullocks has been seen badly beating Tej. This is shameful and intolerable. Tell him in strong words, that if he gives one single blow more to any of the two bullocks he will be dismissed at once — and you can add that he must not hope that we shall not know about the beating, for we shall be informed of it immediately.
7 June 1932
Duraiswami’s guests are arriving tomorrow and will stay in Chandrasekhar’s house. If Amal has to arrange for furniture for them, they will need three cots, three tables and three chairs.
I thought there was some furniture in that house — I don’t like very much to send the Asram furniture to an outside house. We can wait until they arrive and see what is truly needed.
11 June 1932
The pushwallah has vacated the premise of the Josué House. He wants the promised amount of three rupees paid to him now.
Just now it is from the man to whom you give the Rs 3 that you must take a receipt. You will arrange with the proprietor afterwards.
Some temporary arrangement can be made just for this night, I suppose.
15 June 1932
(Amrita sent a note to the House Maintenance Service asking for a carpenter boy to open a bale of cloth from Bombay. The note was shown to the Mother, who wrote on the back:)
I am wondering why you disturbed a carpenter boy for opening a bale of cloth? Usually Purani was doing it all right with the help of one or two others. And if we had no workmen here what would you do?
17 June 1932
Since Indrakumari and I were responsible for the loss of over one litre of milk, as per your decision to reduce this quantity from those responsible, I did not get milk for breakfast this morning. I somehow managed to have bread with water. But at lunch, when I was denied my share of curds, I thought: “If Mother were to deprive me of one of the food items for each fault of mine . . .” I could not even mentally complete the sentence. I felt my throat choking.
So food has still so much importance for you...
The first impulse in me was to tell You all that I have written above. Then a second impulse came, saying, “Don’t utter a word of this to the Mother. It is quite humiliating!” Later, still a third impulse said, “Put the whole thing in such a way as if you were an outsider and the whole comedy had been enacted by some other people.” I obeyed the first impulse.
You did well.
In the morning, while I was with You, I was able to put a pressure upon myself to keep from Your Presence my struggling part and to put in front of You my normal usual self.
It was quite visible for me that you were very nervous about the suppressed milk.
25 July 1932
When Chandulal addresses me in his notes as his “lovable, loving brother”, there comes up in me a strong resentment. I am pushing it away by calling Your name. I am Your child and nobody’s brother.
If you are my child, then you are the brother of all my children. This seems to me logical. And if you object to being addressed as Chandulal’s brother, then you can say that it is Chandulal who is yours!
26 August 1932
(Letter of Amrita to Champaklal, with the Mother’s reply)
Champaklal,
I do not want an explanation from you. I request you to pass this letter on to the Mother.
This is not the first time you have been rude and inconsiderate towards me. Today you threw such dirt in my face that, but for the grace of the Mother, I would have sunk into depression. In my worst state, in my darkest of moods, I would never dream of saying, “The Mother is ferocious,” a condition generally attributed to wild animals.
You have a special knack of misunderstanding me. How could you even dream that I am capable of saying or feeling that “the Mother is ferocious”? But she is there and knows what I could have said or could not have said.
My poor Amrita
You are perfectly ridiculous. Why do you attach so much importance to a statement which, at the worst, could be considered a bad joke? I DIDN’T.
You must have a little more sense of humour.
Those who take offence are always wrong, to say nothing of those who take revenge!
August 1932
How shall I adore you? By being happy and carefree in serving You? I shall not fail in using every opportunity that is put before me by You.
Yes, but also by meeting what comes from others with perfect equanimity.
31 August 1932
(Two sentences from the Mother’s Prayers and Meditations, chosen by her for Amrita)
What Thou willest, what Thou willest...
At every moment one must know how to lose everything in order to gain everything, to shed the past as a dead body and be reborn into a greater plenitude. . . .
11 September 1932
Kodandaraman comes to me and gives lengthy reports about the servants — his reason being that if You ask me about them, then I should be aware of what is going on. I told him that he need not take this precious precaution and not to speak to me at all about his affairs.
It would have been better not to say this, as his information can be useful.
Am I to strictly forbid any servant from asking me to make any kind of representation to You concerning him or her?
Certainly not.
Will you permit me to show to Kodandaraman what I have written above about him?
I do not see any necessity for your showing.
2 December 1932
When I report something to You, how can I trust my discretion? If I don’t tell You everything, I feel uneasy. But if I tell You every detail, I feel I am wasting Your time or am giving You unnecessary worry and trouble. Two horns of the dilemma! Mother, tell me the way out.
Be simple, spontaneous, sincere.
It seems Kodandaraman is right about the deduction of two days’ wages from Muthu’s salary. He told me that You have sanctioned two days’ leave without pay because Muthu gave a false excuse for his two days’ absence.
You can tell Muthu that I am once again giving my consent not to deduct the two days’ wages, but that I am very unhappy with his bad habit of always telling lies and that he must learn to speak the truth; otherwise I will become unpardoning.
5 December 1932
Kodandaraman seems to think that I have been the cause of much vexation to him on account of Muthu, Chellu and Marie. Perhaps he has good reasons on his side. The logic is evidently in his favour.
Even if one is right, one is always wrong to be vexed.
I do not see on what grounds Dr. Aroule says that I am not answering his letters? Yourself you handed over to him a letter of mine not so long ago. You could have reminded him of that. As for seeing me he did not ask me an interview, so he cannot say that I refused it to him.
Finally I am not subletting his house, as I am receiving no money from the people who are occupying it, which can easily be proved. So the whole thing is mere rambling and I do not understand why you are in the least impressed by it.
6 December 1932
Will you speak to Shivalingam on my behalf and tell him that the place for the bullocks being very small, he must let Krishnayya tie the bullocks and the cow(?) on the mill platform when there is no chakki work. Krishnayya promises to clean the place afterwards.
13 December 1932
Krishnayya has made an astonishing report about Shivalingam’s behaviour. I asked him to show you the book in which the report was made. If the facts are found to be exact, you will have to speak to Shivalingam and to tell him that such conduct will not do at all. Things, work, etc. are arranged here with my sanction and no one can go on acting according to his whims and fancies. He will have to follow the discipline. Otherwise it will be impossible to entrust him any more with any responsible work.
19 December 1932
It seems from what Jayaraj told me this morning that he is unable to easily digest the Ashram bread. It is the same old story! He doesn’t want to eat bread in the morning. He begs You to let him have one more banana in addition to the phoscao. The bread does not agree with him.
I firmly believe that he is unfit to receive the Asram food. It would be better if he could make some other arrangement from the first of next month.
He also does not like the cooked vegetables served in the evening. But he would like to have some cakes, if he could.
Strictly speaking, he could have one extra banana in the morning, but cakes in the evening is really a bit too much! If he were to have a meal elsewhere with the five rupees I take from him, what could he get!
24 December 1932
You have asked, “When are there cakes in the Asram? I don’t understand.” Mother, Savitri bakes cakes from time to time. Evidently Jayaraj has received them from her each time. He asked You to let him have those Indian cakes, and nothing else.
But, Mother, all that doesn’t matter since I am going to advise him to make some other arrangement for his food. May I tell him that in Your name?
You should not speak harshly to him as if it were an order from me, but simply tell him that if the Asram food does not suit his stomach, it would be better to take food from elsewhere.
25 December 1932
One of Purushottam’s gardeners — his name is Rajagopal — has asked me if his wife can come and pay her respects to you on New Year’s Day. This gardener is one of the newly married workers. Should I tell him that it is too late now?
Why answer him like that? Reply to him by giving an ordinary sari without money.
30 December 1932
Venkataraman asked me whether I would show him the readings of my horoscope as calculated by Pavitra. I told him that they are not meant for circulation and that I could not give to anyone without your express sanction. He then asked me to ask you.
No.
6 January 1933
Should I convey to Sowbhagyam your decision of this morning? You have relieved her of work from the Trésor House because she does not deserve even Rs. 10 a month. Her service at Trésor costs us Rs. 14.
That is not at all what I said. What I said is simply that since she gets tips in excess of her salary, I have increased her work at Trésor. If she finds the work too much (she did very badly elsewhere) and the salary not enough, she can see if she finds a better place elsewhere.
10 January 1933
How long does a packet of the new shampoo, ‘Arys’, last? The previous brand, ‘Hilder’, used to last me for four baths.
I always bathe four times with a packet of ‘Arys’.
The two musician friends of Radhananda who came for the last Darshan of 24th November are editors of a monthly review in Tamil at Srivaikuntham. At their request I gave them some of my manuscripts — those that had already been published five or six years ago in several reviews of that time. The two men promised to publish them in book form, but they said that first they would publish them in their review in instalments in order to know which of these essays would be most in demand.
At that time I did not say anything to them. They have already published one of my essays in the January review. I don’t know why but I am not happy about it. It would be better not to continue, certainly for me and maybe for them too. Mother, if you have no objection, I will write to them asking them to discontinue publishing my manuscripts.
I don’t understand how one does something or takes a decision based on a vague impression when one does not know why. Before taking a decision one has to look at the sensation carefully to see from where it comes and what supports it. As for myself I cannot decide anything based on this kind of information. I need something much more precise than this — and first of all, what is the nature and subject of the articles, as well as the nature of the review in which it is being published.
11 January 1933
Two fighting workers. J asked young D to bring some cloth for him from a village. The boy did not bring the cloth. The result was friction, scolding, indecent abuses — all from J’s side. The boy remained silent.
Have you heard J abusing the boy? Were you there when he did it? And if not, whose report is this? The boy’s or somebody else who witnessed the scene?
12 January 1933
From the 17th of this month till today, I have given You a total of Rs. 73 — that works out to Rs. 9 per day. No doubt the amount goes to the Reserve Fund.
It is too much. I cannot put so much money aside. An average of two rupees a day is all I can do.
24 January 1933
In whose name is the property-purchase contract to be made — in Sri Aurobindo’s name or yours? If this can be known today, the writing of the act will be commenced this day itself. Praying for an answer, if possible, today before 5 p.m.
Sri Aurobindo says to do in my name.
Do people come to you on their own or is it the influence of the stars that sends them here?
There is no question at all. It is one and the same, that is to say, it is neither the people who come to us, nor the stars that send them. There is one and same thing that organises the stars and makes the people move this way or that way.
I feel: “I am nobody, the stars are everything!”
I thought I had already explained to you that a person is born at a certain moment under certain astrological conditions because of what he is. It is quite wrong to believe that he is what he is because of the moment at which he is born. This last belief is the ignorant superstitious way of understanding the thing.
30 January 1933
You can say to Jayaraj that if he has no objection about living in the house at the manure ground, I am willing to give him some accommodation there without even asking any rent from him for that. You can show him the place and see what he says.
2 February 1933
Varadou will come tomorrow morning. He will need to know your first name, your last name and your profession in order to prepare the lease. Will I be right in giving him the following information: “Madame Mira Alfassa, No profession”?
Yes.
I don’t know your first name.
My first name is Mira (in the birth certificate it is written with two ‘r’s — Mirra, but it doesn’t matter).
5 February 1933
The Doctor is asking me for five rupees to disinfect the Budi House. I have given him three for the present. Shall I give him the rest?
13 February 1933
Krishnayya wants to buy straw from Govindapillai like last year. But before doing it, is it not possible to ask from the “vieux grigou” [old miser] if he would not sell to us the provision of straw which is kept behind the “laiterie” [dairy]; it is a huge heap.
15 February 1933
Will you permit me to have a rubber stamp on which can be printed simply “The Manager“?
16 March 1933
In 1930 Sri Aurobindo wrote to the head of the British Post Office that Amrita is the “Manager, Sri Aurobindo Asram, Pondicherry”. I always sign at the Post Office as the “Manager, the Arya Office, Pondicherry”. Now I find that Pavitra has given his address at the British Post Office as “The General Secretary, the Arya Office, Pondicherry”. Perhaps it would be better to have only one official with only one address, either the Manager or the General Secretary of either the Arya Office or the Arya Establishment.
What is this story again! Can Pavitra do the work that we need at the Post Office or can you do it well? Your proposal makes no sense and I fail to see how or why the Secretary and the Manager would be one and the same person!
17 February 1933
Varadou desires to show you some samples of paddy so that you may select out of them. Do you want to see and choose, Mother?
I do not think it is necessary for me to see the samples of paddy. I trust it will be all right.
He will, if allowed, come and instruct us as to how to store the paddy so that it may last even more than two years, if needs be.
Yes, it is good if he shows.
22 February 1933
This afternoon Dr. Manilal asked me for ten rupees for current expenses. I gave it to him and told him that he still had Rs. 150 remaining with me. He asked me, “Aren’t Rs. 160 remaining?” I was a little embarrassed. On the morning of the 18th, he gave me only Rs. 160. This afternoon I gave him Rs. 10. How can he say that Rs. 160 are still with me? I am not able to convince him.
In the future, you must give a receipt for the money received after you have counted it in the presence of the person who gave it to you.
I very much regret not having counted the money given to me and not having taken the signature of the one who gave it.
The best thing would be to have a notebook in which you write down the amount each time money is received and each time it is given back, and take the initials of the person who has given the money.
24 February 1933
I have prepared a stamped receipt for Rs. 100 paid to the Modern Press today. It has been made in Nolini’s name after asking him if it should be in his name or yours. He replied that it could be in his name and asked me if he should sign it! I said it was to be signed by the person who receives the money.
But, Mother, when we paid the Modern Press Rs. 70 last time, we did not take any receipt from them. To have a receipt for one payment and not for another is irregular on our part. Either there should be a receipt for every payment or no receipt for any payment, is it not so?
You must obtain a receipt for the first payment also. For God’s sake, when will you all who have business to do become reliable businessmen!!
27 February 1933
I did not receive Arjava yesterday. I was disinclined and indisposed.
You seem to be rather fanciful in your dealings with people.
3 March 1933
According to the present agreement between the owner of the Josue House and us, we are to deduct Rs. 11 every month from the rent for the tax we pay on the house till the end of June. Thereafter the amount deducted will be Rs. 12 a month. But now the owner proposes that we deduct not more than a rupee and a quarter every month till the end of the lease.
Until when is the lease? Because you must understand that every year we shall have to pay the tax as she will not be able to do it—and then?...
The lease commenced on the 1st of December 1931 and will run up to the 30th of November 1934. The money paid to the owner, till the end of January 1933, was Rs. 559. as. 7. This includes the tax for 1933.
What about the tax for 1934?
The house owner has further proposed that if we pay the rent till the 30th of November 1934 in advance, a promise in writing will be given to us for the extension of the present lease for another three years. Her only condition is that the rental value of the house will have to be revised from the current Rs. 20 per month and not be less than Rs. 23 a month. Mother, how do you find her proposal?
She must not exaggerate all the same and believe us to be more stupid than we are! Who profits most by the extension of the lease? She or us? Where will she find tenants like us ready to pay all the rent in advance? To extend the lease for 3 years more cannot be considered as a concession to us. The most we can say is that it is reciprocal. As for the increase of rent it is an absurdity and I refuse or then I shall ask an interest of 6% on all the money she owes us and on the Rs. 147 she expects us to pay in advance. Her house is not worth more than 20 rupees and if she wants more she can seek for another tenant. Moreover I stick to the previous arrangement and will make not the slightest concession. What is written is written and we shall act accordingly.
4 March 1933
I will need to buy the following material to make a mattress for Swasti: 2 maunds of cotton, 8 yards of printed cloth, 31/2 yards of unbleached cloth, and some one yard of coloured cloth for stitching the border. The mattress maker will take two days to make a new mattress. Is the work to be done in Arogya House No. 2 itself?
We supply the material, is it not, Mother?
I do not understand what you mean. The mattress which is with Swasti was simply to be taken, undone, the cloth washed, the contents cleaned and the whole thing remade to the size of the cot in Swasti’s new room in Arogya No. 2. There had been no question of buying anything new and you speak as if we were doing altogether a new mattress!!
5 March 1933
Krishnayya went to the Bank Garden yesterday and gave me a verbal report of the state of the place — it is in a very much dilapidated condition, with the mango trees practically dead, etc. But it struck me that it was not advisable for him to go there without your permission. I told him this morning that you would be displeased to hear about it. But perhaps I went out of the way in telling him that.
No, you did well.
7 March 1933
I was to bring the Notary in the car at 4.30 p.m. for him to see the houses for which the deed has been drawn up. When I went to his house, I found him very busy and I waited for him till 5.45 p.m. Patience was finding me unworthy. Then he wanted to go in a rickshaw to a place near the railway station to get the signature of someone on whose behalf he had just concluded some business. He simply told me that he would come the next day for the inspection.
I thought one more day would be lost. Therefore, I offered the car to him so that our work could be done on that day itself. I do not know whether what I did was right, but the very next day the deed was drawn up. Mother, I want to know if it was a mistake to have given the car to the Notary without your prior permission. It will settle once and for all the matter of abuse of discretion on my part.
Evidently it was not correct, but it proved useful. Does the end justify the means? . . . It is the unsettled fight between the men of principles and the opportunists. I leave the problem unsolved, the point of view of the Truth being somewhat different!
When Varadou first informed us that the plot owned by the bank was for sale, it was felt that the whole deal could be done by correspondence. But the Notary insists that it be done by both parties meeting personally and that the Director of the bank will ask who the prospective buyer is. The Notary has decided to give my name as the buyer. I requested him not to mention the Asram as the interested party in buying the property. I will also keep in mind that you do not want your name to be mentioned to the Director.
But I would like to know whether you want me and Chandulal to go and see the plot. Will not Varadou alone do for the purpose? If he handles everything, we avoid all indications that could point out to who the buyer is. Also, is the idea of bargaining to be given up altogether? Have I understood the thing right?
No, not at all.
It is of the greatest importance that you should go with Chandulal and Varadou to see the condition of the estate. For instance, Varadou must be shown that the pump is not in working order (some parts were already missing when I went to the place) and repairs are out of the question. Pondicherry is not equipped for such kind of work. It means nothing short of a new pump, i.e. Rs. 3000. For the value of the property this is not negligible.
I object to your going to the bank for several reasons, the first being that too many clerks know you there and it is as good as if I went myself, as the Director would have only to ask his “personnel” (which he is bound to do) and he will know at once who is the buyer.
I am quite willing to leave Varadou to his intuition for working out the thing provided he does not bring me in until the price is settled, because it seems to me a condition of success.
It is by the way that I was saying this morning that if my name was to be mentioned, I could have done the whole thing myself without the help of anybody. But if I did not do it, it is because I am convinced the banker will raise his price the moment he knows it is I who want to buy.
Finally Varadou must know that the affair must in no way interfere with or delay the settlement of Siyali’s houses, as this purchase is more immediately needed and important than the other from the practical point of view.
I hope I have made myself clear this time.
8 March 1933
I do not know whether you know the existing arrangement for payment in the Bullocks’ Department. Krishnayya pays the amount in advance to the cart-men directly. He takes the money from me with your sanction. I state this because Krishnayya told me this morning that today was the first time you did not smile at him at Pranam. And finally he told me that five rupees are missing from his room. It is this that makes me inform you that the advance money or any payment sanctioned by you for the cartmen is being given to Krishnayya, who in turn pays them.
It is better in future if you pay them directly.
15 March 1933
Prasanna has been asking every alternate day if you have given permission for her pocket watch to be repaired. She feels that perhaps you are angry with her on hearing that she has spoiled it for the third time.
You can give the watch to be repaired but I do not see how we can entrust her with one as she so obviously does not know how to use it. Tell her that I have not yet decided if she will get the watch back or not, but that I am not angry.
I have paid the tax, but one of the hundred-rupee notes was not accepted because it has been cut in a rather zigzag way. Wherever I have tried to make payment with that note, it has not been accepted. But one of our milkmen, Gopal, is ready to accept it. His bill, till this evening, comes to fifty rupees. He will make up the balance of fifty rupees in another week. What do you say, Mother?
Yes, you can give him. I told you this morning that at the bank also they refuse to take these notes; it is only in Madras that they are bound to take them.
18 March 1933
Can I ask Satyen and Rajangam to put their account books at my door not later than 7 p.m. every day? When I proposed it to Rajangam, he asked me whether it was your arrangement or I was doing it on my own responsibility.
When I wanted to undertake the work, it was Chandulal who suggested my room would suit me better than the accounts office. I too think so. Now I come to you for a better solution.
You can see by Rajangam’s letter (enclosed) that he has his own reasons for wishing it to be otherwise.
If each one thinks only of his own convenience I give up all attempts to come to a “better solution”.
I imagine that by now you must have already become despairing about me — repetition of mistakes, persistency of partiality, much self-revolving, repeated inaccuracy of reports, want of vision, especially clarity, etc. But after all, I am your child, Mother.
Certainly.
19 March 1933
Last night I went to bed at 11.15; I couldn’t go to sleep earlier. I had to get up at 3.45 a.m. and I did. Tonight also I have no hopes of going to bed before 11.00.
I do not approve at all of this going to bed so late. If it is because of the accounts left by N.B., I shall be obliged to find somebody else to do them, as the absence of sleep is not at all favourable for the clarity of your mind!
20 March 1933
De Quadros has been to see the Notary; later he met me. He wants me to convey his plea to you not to charge him the cost of the transfer of the title once you buy his house. He said he would bear half the cost of the Registration Charges and the Notary’s fee too. Both together may not exceed Rs. 150, I think. Lastly, he wants you to allow him to remain in the house till the end of April 1933, by which time he hopes to find a place on rent.
He will receive the totality of the money only when he quits his house. Anyhow the notary can see to all these details. But we must be a little careful as he is also the notary of the other party. We must not forget his attitude towards Mme. Hecquet and how he favoured her against us.
21 March 1933
De Quadros pleaded very much that I should give him word on your behalf that he would receive Rs. 2500 in cash on the day he would actually leave the house, that is, sometime before 30th April 1933. I told him that you could give your word only after his papers were examined by the Notary to your satisfaction, and not before that.
Quite right. We must see the papers first and see how much is due upon the house. Once this figure is clearly settled, I shall give a final answer. As for the various expenses he need not worry about them; I take them at my charge.
He implored: “Don’t go back on your promise. Amal promised Rs. 7000 on behalf of the Mother; it has come down to Rs. 6750. Please see to it that the price doesn’t get reduced further. In any event I must receive Rs. 2500 in cash.”
You can tell him that I shall do my best to let him have the 2500 he asks, but nothing definitive can be settled before we know exactly how much he owes to his creditor. So the sooner the papers are handed over to the notary, the better.
This poor de Quadros is so anxious to have the thing finished that he has brought this paper to Amal. You will have to take it to the notary. I don’t feel like discussing the 2500 rupees. They represent so much more for him than for me! So the whole thing can be finally settled for Rs. 7000, on which I shall pay his debt on the day the sale deed is signed and the rest he will receive the day he hands over the house to us. I shall ask only that an inventory and statement of state of repair should be joined to the sale deed so that nothing can be changed, deteriorated or taken away between the signature of the documents and the actual handing over of the house by de Quadros.
22 March 1933
Vishnu will be shown tonight how the accounts are to be done. Up till now when the accounts books were with Nolin Behari, nobody had an easy access to them. From now on, if these books are to be kept in the accounts office of the Meditation House on an open shelf, anybody can open them and take a look. This office is never locked. Mother, I do not know how you consider this matter.
It is better if the books remain with you and you will hand them over to Vishnu at the time when it is arranged for his work.
Is Vishnu to be told that he should not disclose the accounts figures to anybody? From tonight he will be in possession of the books.
No, this won’t do at all. You must keep them with you.
Nolin Behari was provided with a shelf for keeping the accounts books and stationery. Will you permit it to be shifted to the accounts office of the Meditation House?
It is not needed if you keep the books with you.
Venkataraman asked for milk from the Dairy early this morning. He said he would not take his share of milk from the Dining Room in the morning. Since he did not find Dyuman, he left word with Jivan and I gave him the quantity he wanted; he also bought milk worth one anna. Such an incident is rare. I considered the matter for some time before giving the milk. At one moment I was about to refuse, wanting to ask Venketaraman to bring your sanction, but I chose to risk giving it. Mother, what am I to do in such cases?
Asking for your sanction at 4.30 a.m. is tantamount to a refusal. If I am allowed what is called “my way”, then I would rather give more often than not give.
Yes, most often it can be given.
24 March 1933
Krishnayya wants to help me in the Dairy work. Mother, would you have any objection if I familiarised him with the work? After helping me for about two months, he could substitute for me from time to time instead of Dyuman who has a lot to do.
You could familiarise him with the work. But will he be able to receive and measure the milk? Will he be strict with the milkmen and conscientious in his supervision?
3 April 1933
Each time I go to see Varadou, he strongly recommends a particular milkman who according to him will bring an excellent cow to us for milking and the cow will be very clean. The most important point, again according to Varadou, is that this man will not be merely a milkman on business terms with us but will deal with the Asram with devotion and sincerity. He prays to you to consider this point and hopes for a favourable reply from you.
Why should you not see this man without promising anything and see if his devotion, etc. are sincere?
10 April 1933
Balanarayan tells me that he was given a present of one tray by the shopkeeper Appadurai. He is offering it to you, Mother.
It is an ash tray!
12 April 1933
Tulsi says that you told him to attend, this afternoon, to the arrival of the paddy. How is that? I never spoke of such a thing. Tulsi is busy with the Saverhy House repairs and can’t leave his work to attend to something else. He says also that bags are needed. How is it? The paddy is not coming in bags? How is it measured then? In that case you ought to have informed at least a fortnight ago, so that the necessary measures should have been taken. Now you have to find a man to receive the paddy. I suggest Rama Reddy or Balanarayan. I suppose coolies will be there to carry the bags.
If there is any other thing to decide you will speak of it this morning.
21 April 1933
Krishnaswamy Chetty, father of Sri Ramalu, has again sent his prayer through Joseph for you to allow him at least to meditate in the Reception Hall where Sri Aurobindo’s photo is kept.
I think he can come once to the Reception Hall if he is so eager.
22 April 1933
De Quadros, the previous owner of the house, has left behind a dog and two cats! As soon as the dog came out of the house we closed the door in such a way that it will not be able to enter again. I am sure that it will spend the whole night outside the house! What to do, Mother? It was very painful to put the dog out.
We cannot adopt a dog. It should be shown the way to the new house of de Quadros. Dogs are more attached to their masters than to their house.
26 April 1933
Jayaraj, working in our Electricity Department, is not satisfied with the fate of his children in the convent here. He now wants to put his children in the convent at Cuddalore. For this purpose he wants to go to Cuddalore tomorrow to make enquiries. He asked me to inform you of this, the implied idea being to borrow money from you. I asked him how he meant to redeem himself from his debts; he had no answer to give.
I shall not give him. The whole thing is absurd.
28 April 1933
Some of our paid servants have come together to form a group of either five or ten members among themselves. The group is formed for a certain number of months during which each member contributes a certain amount of money each month. The money thus collected is then distributed equally among the members of the group. The present group, made up of ten, has Kesavalou as one of its members, but now he refuses to give his monthly quota to the group. The group is alarmed and its members approach you for a solution.
I refuse to have anything to do with these affairs.
The whole thing is illegal and punishable. But this kind of thing is prevalent among the servant class and milkmen of Pondicherry. This is by the way. But what do you want me to tell them?
That I absolutely refuse to hear a single word about such things.
29 April 1933
Balanarayan has accepted all your conditions — to return every evening to Cycle House at the time fixed by Benjamin and to obey all the rules of the House.
The important points being: no smoking, no chewing tobacco, no taking snuff.
30 April 1933
You spoke at mid-day today about how to give pocket money to Sankara Rama. As nothing was decided at that time, I simply bring it before you again.
You might go to him and tell him simply: You know that Mother gives pocket money to all the members of the Asram.
Would you like to have some?
4 May 1933
Benjamin is offering to take up the surveillance of Ammani for the mending work, until something is arranged. Ammani must be informed and Nolini will have to go with her to the Cocotiers to fetch all the things she was using for this mending work. A small almirah or the chest of drawers may be needed to keep all the work in course of doing.
Ammani will go also to Pavitra twice a week for ironing his things when washed.
5 May 1933
Rama Reddy has invited me to his house for lunch tomorrow! I told him that I would write to you today and wait for the answer tomorrow morning. He bought a half-measure of milk for the purpose! The stomachic soul in me seems to be very influential!
You can go.
8 May 1933
Ramchandra informs me that Louis Arogya [a local resident] has taken a turn to the Yoga. He has decided to join the Asram, but all depends on whether you will admit him or not.
It would be good if he could give the date and the time of his birth.
He wishes to have a waiting period of one month. He will use this time to send his mother to his elder brothers.
First I must see him once before deciding anything.
12 May 1933
A man is needed to bring the paddy up to the roof of the Canal House. A special coolie could be provided for that, but he must be, as far as possible, reliable. Will you see to it?
Louis Arogya will submit his personal documents to me tomorrow evening. What do you want me to do? Should I accept them so that I can give them to you? Advise me, Mother.
You can tell him that I usually don’t give advice in matters of this kind. Still, if he insists, you can take them and I will have a look at them.
14 May 1933
Some time back, Subramania Chetty installed two water connections — one in Subbu House and the other in Josué House. We did not pay him for these additional connections. Today he has dug up the two notes for these connections from his archives! But the other day he signed for having received his dues till 30th April 1933. How can we be sure that he will not discover yet another note? But I don’t believe there is another note. Still, I can’t assure myself.
It is incomprehensible that we did not keep an exact account of all this. It is an unpardonable negligence.
While Premanand was translating for me some sentences underlined in Dahi’s letter, Nolini came to the Library to take Premanand’s signature on the circular about the meeting. Nolini wanted Premanand not to talk about it to anybody, not even Amal. Now Amal and Premanand have been very good friends for a long time. So Premanand came to me this afternoon to ask if he ought to change his attitude towards Amal. He asked me to write to you.
I prefer not to interfere in such matters.
15 May 1933
For my meditation with Arjava in my room, I was using the rug from Duraiswami’s room during his absence. But today I was obliged to use one of the Pranam verandah rugs for the purpose. I have done it without your permission. For next time, well, I await your counsel.
It is all right.
18 May 1933
Paying one person out of other people’s money introduces difficulty in accounting. For example, two or three days ago I received Rs. 133 from you. But at the time of payment I found that I needed Rs. 159. So I took the remaining amount from the money deposited with me by someone. And in the accounts book I marked Rs. 159 as if received from you. That doesn’t seem fair.
You must once for all stop touching to the money deposited with you. Each one must have his money in a separate envelope with the amount written clearly, and if he draws it out by instalments that must be written also with the date. Any other process can lead to much confusion and great bother. Remember what was on the point of happening with Dr. Manilal, and also how Becharlal took back his money with a fright. Such things must, by all means, be avoided.
I therefore suggest, first, that I pay only with the money I receive from you. The moment it is finished, I will simply say, “Tomorrow”. And second, that those who want money due to them and who have your sanction behind their claim must inform me at least 24 hours in advance in writing.
Of whom are you speaking? Not the people who have deposited money with you, I hope? For the money is theirs and must be given back at once on demand. Any other dealing is dishonest and cannot be tolerated.
Information from the Canal House that to-day the coolie will be needed only morning and evening to carry the paddy up and down the roof.
20 May 1933
I have a proposal to make for drying the paddy quickly. If you agree to give your permission to carry it out, then everything could be arranged as follows:
1. Six to seven workers will put the entire quantity of paddy into sacks.
First expenditure.
2. Krishnayya will transport the sacks before 7.30 in the morning from Calve House to the Granary.
Second expenditure.
3. In the afternoon the paddy will be ready in the sacks to leave at 3.00 in order to reach Calve House before 5.00.
Third expenditure.
How complicated all this looks to me!
But what to do about the paddy? One has to choose either to finish the work in one day or to dry the paddy little by little for five days on the roof of Calve House.
Arrange all that if you like — but don’t ask me questions about minor details.
22 May 1933
Are you using the almirah which came from Meenakshi’s house? If you are making no use of it, you might send it back to them as they are needing an almirah for the serving. But if you are using it, I shall have a smaller one made for them.
What would you like me to do with the pistachios and raisins I received today? Can I give them to Dyuman?
Yes, but it would be better if someone is willing to prepare 120 packets, so that the work of the Dining Room is made easier.
27 May 1933
Pujalal asked in the evening to give him the address of V. Venkataraman in order to have an English dictionary brought from Madras. Can I give it to him, Mother?
He intends to pay for this dictionary, I believe? You must make sure and only under this condition can you give it to him.
2 June 1933
Louis Arogiassami of Reddiyarpalayam asked me whether he could come more often for the Pranam. He has a cycle and he could come every day, if permitted.
He can come.
He plans to send his mother to his brother’s house. Once that is taken care of, he wants to know whether he can come into the Asram to lead its life at once.
I would like you to show him the rules of the Asram, translating and explaining them to him, so that he may think about it again before asking for admission. You can tell him also that, if admitted, it will be first on trial as it always is. Final admission coming only after some time, when it is proved that he can conform himself with the Asram life and obligations.
3 June 1933
Just now (10.10 p.m.) Dyuman reminds me that the Dining Room does not sell milk and that it has not done so for the last two years. But Dande has already been asked to go to the Dining Room for his one anna of hot milk. Dande says he cannot go either to the Dining Room or to the Dairy before 6.30 a.m. But the entire amount of milk is sent to the Dining Room a little before 6 a.m. Now what is to be done?
I do not see the difficulty. Dande can take the milk from the D.R. and give the money to you as well as if he was taking it from the dairy. For writing the accounts you simply mark: sale of milk. You need not mark from where the milk has been given.
Dyuman is somewhat upset because Jivan issued milk to Dande without consulting him. Nolini asked me yesterday to inform Dyuman about Dande’s going to the Dining Room to receive hot milk, but I failed to inform him of it.
But Mother, did you tell Nolini that Dande could have his milk from the D.R.?
No, we never spoke to Nolini about it and never thought of the D.R. as we did not know that Dande wanted hot milk.
Mother, will you sanction at all the sale of milk from the D.R.?
Not the sale but the giving. You will have to keep the account and receive the money.
4 June 1933
The parcel was unregistered and I put the signature in the postman’s book on behalf of Kantilal.
I never heard that an unregistered parcel needed a signature. And if a signature was needed it was a great mistake to have put one in somebody’s behalf.
7 June 1933
Shanta complains that the lock of the granary cannot open (in Canal House) — mishandling, I suppose — and she is asking for a new one. Will you go and see if the report is exact and if a new lock is truly needed.
15 June 1933
Which of the two notices below will be preferable?
Chairs are forbidden to be taken up to the roof
or
By order
Chairs are not to be taken on the roofs
It is forbidden to take up chairs on the roofs
By Order
This is preferable.
23 July 1933
With an exceptionally silent mind, I met Sachi and Manubhai separately. I experienced an unusual clarity while understanding what they said to me. I prayed to you before going to them. It is nice to listen silently to the one who speaks.
Bravo!
11 September 1933
M. B. Desai gave me a cheque for Rs. 91.5 annas this afternoon, saying that Rs. 60 was for the Asram for the month of September and that the rest was for his wife which he would send to her at the end of the month. In the evening he told me not to encash the cheque now since it is only the 12th of the month. He said to add the amount of Rs. 91.5 to his deposit account and to pay the Mother either at the end of the month or on the first of next month.
I was simply stunned. I told him, “I am not paying you any interest till the end of the month, and I am not interested in guarding your money. Why keep the money with me?”
His cheque will not be paid to me, the money will go straight to my account as it is a crossed cheque.
If he goes on like that, I do not see why I should cash his cheques for him and pay out of my own pocket the expenses of cashing them (some 8 to 12 annas usually).
He further said that if you had accepted him in the Asram, then you could have cashed the cheque and kept the money with you. Only the Asram would have to send, on the first of every month, Rs. 31.5 to his wife from his pension of Rs. 91.5. He added: “I am only here temporarily. I will wait and see up to November what happens to me.”
This attitude is not very encouraging to take him as a permanent member!
12 September 1933
Kodandaraman engaged two coolies for two hours to shift Dilip’s belongings. He paid them Rs. 1. That is really something! He took the money from me in the morning and gave me the account in the evening.
It is absurd! And why does he do things like that without permission? He said that he would have to move the things of Dilip (to which it was answered yes) but never mentioned coolies. Next time, if he has not my previous sanction, no money will be given to him.
Mridu says that the big cane table is too big for her; if you have a smaller one of the same kind she will take it; anyhow she wants the big one to be removed. So you can take it away.
23 September 1933
I have informed M. B. Desai that the bank has transferred to your credit the sum of Rs. 90, 8 as. This afternoon he received from me Rs. 10 and 8 as. In my notebook I will note Rs. 80 to the credit of M. B. Desai. Have I done the right thing, Mother?
Is it he who asked you to give him only Rs. 10, 8 as? I had written to you to give him Rs. 30, 9 as, and I was planning to credit him with Rs. 60 given to the Ashram.
26 September 1933
(Regarding measurements for a wooden stool for the bakery)
I do not understand these measurements. You will have to go and verify what he wants.
29 September 1933
Gangadhar requests you to give him an umbrella because of the rainy season.
Wouldn’t it be better if he had a cloak with a hood? You can ask him, and if he wants one we can give him one from the Stores.
For the purchase of the two houses we are interested in buying, I have been negotiating with the owners or their representatives for some time now. Hours and hours, with wholehearted devotion to You, I have mixed with these outsiders, now cajoling, now persuading, now influencing them and so on. But one of them, Sri Ramalu, went too far this morning in insisting upon his foolish demands after the agreed amount has been paid by us.
Later, when I suggested to you that the deed could be annulled, you laughed at me. I swallowed whatever was hurled at me. But, Mother, even now, we can have back the entire amount we have paid.
It is the absurdity of the proposal that shocked me. To have taken so much trouble and when one has succeeded, suddenly to undo everything! It would be mere folly. The very idea of it seems to me grotesque.
It was like receiving blow upon blow from you. I thought that you found it difficult to trust me.
Nonsense! It was not at all for such a reason.
I still feel that the deed should not be annulled. After all the Notary has not yet put his signature on it. I already told you that this is quite out of the question. I never thought of it, even for a second. It would be the last of absurdities.
I would like to be freed from meeting the outside people for various types of work. I am very much shaken. From tomorrow shall I stop giving money to Satyen for the daily expenses? And why should I keep other people’s money in my safe? Money is troublesome, Mother, and I am made of such poor stuff. Please save me.
What is all this? . . . When Pavitra told me this evening that you had wept at 3 o’clock, I was moved and felt great pity — but now I see that these were tears from wounded “amour-propre” and not from the heart anxious for progress . . .
So, you would like better to throw all the work away from your shoulders (not even thinking of the difficulties to which it could put me) rather than accept the idea that you have to make a progress and that you will make it?
You ask to be saved. There is only one way: remain firm at your post; recover your lost faith, and where you see now the sign of a lack of trust in you and of unjust or, at least, undeserved severity, recognise the action of the Divine Grace labouring to make you rise above this condition of impotent and confused humanity, into a state of clear, luminous and powerful Consciousness.
8 December 1933
This evening Padmasini told me that her happiness in being here is slowly growing. But then this afternoon, after returning from Aroumé, she felt as if her heart was choking and she was overpowered by a sense of cold, accompanied by a slight shiver. She also felt like weeping but did not know why. She added that she has never experienced fear or loneliness. It seems some people in Aroumé told her that if she is afraid of living all alone in the house, she should tell you and that you will arrange for another member of the Asram to live with her. She told those people that she has no fear and she feels your Presence. I forgot to ask her who told her all those things.
Yes, better ask her who it is.
But she is wondering why the choking in the heart, etc. in spite of feeling you?
You must tell her that it is the disbelief of others that disturbs her faith and confidence. She must not listen to what others say and keep her faith and confidence intact.
29 January 1934
A few things continue to puzzle me; no, they even trouble me. A certain atmosphere sometimes develops that prevents the actual facts from being presented to you. The result is that something not exactly wanted or needed is either constructed or furnished which fails to satisfy the person concerned.
For instance, Chandulal’s latest proposal is to put a broad, half-opened conduit broad pipe made of a thick iron sheet between the well and the cistern. It will satisfy neither Rama Reddy nor the servant who has to fill the cistern. And is the proposal economical? Instead a cement wall 60 cm high will stand easily for five years and the cost will surely not be exorbitant. Why can’t Chandulal see it? It becomes very much annoying when one has to go on day after day even when the inconvenience or difficulty is small.
I completely fail to understand why a wall would be more convenient than the semi-circular pipe. It is not Chandulal but I who suggested that as the simplest and most practical way if it is done properly. Now, if your happiness and quietness depends on the wall, you can certainly have it.
18 April 1934
I would prefer that Vishnu be present when Kodandaraman and I meet. Next Monday I will place before you the result of the meeting. All this will take place provided you approve of the meeting.
Yes, I approve of your meeting and you can show him the accounts concerning the servants, but no others. He need not see also the accounts of the Atelier people. Vishnu can be present.
8 September 1934
When milking began at 4.30 a.m., our policy was to fine the milkmen who came late. Now and then some of them would come late by five, ten or twenty minutes and this caused a lot of inconvenience to us. The fine levied up to now was three paise for every five minutes late. Now, as the milking starts at 5.00 a.m., Rama Reddy and I propose to you to increase the fine to one anna for every five minutes after 5.00 a.m.
Better speak to the milkmen first, explain to them the situation and threaten with the one anna fine before actually giving it.
30 October 1934
Rajangam informs me that there is a veterinary doctor in town. If Mother wants, Rajangam could bring him to the Dairy tomorrow afternoon for a consultation with regard to the condition of the cows. He charges two rupees per visit.
Certainly it should be arranged for him to come and do not forget to ask him whether it is dangerous to take the milk of cows which have the illness.
9 December 1935
Sweet Mother,
To what extent should one be wary of personal decisions and judgments? Is it the will or the need in one’s surroundings that determines what one should do? But neither the one nor the other should determine it. Should one remain passive?
No, obey only the divine will.
How can one know what you want in every detail of practical daily life?
Learn to be quiet (make your mind quiet) and listen in the silence.
20 December 1935
On the 23rd evening Dyuman spoke to me about the D.R., his two morning milk deliveries to the D.R., and also about Madanlal. Instead of limiting himself to the problem at hand, he rambled on here and there, sometimes persuading me, sometimes convincing me in an insistent, disturbing and slightly unpleasant way. Remaining silent until the end — almost two hours! — I heard all that he told me. That evening I was troubled and greatly regretted not presenting my case.
On the 24th morning he showed me his notebook and I saw your remark about the Madanlal affair. But what astonished me was his casual phrase “Dyuman had to confess”. When I read this, I told him in a stern tone: “I kept my mouth shut in front of you because I did not want to displease you. But that does not mean that I agreed with your opinion. Now you have forced me to tell you my side . . .”
What to do, Sweet Mother? How can one know what you want in every detail of practical daily life?
If you don’t get rid of your ego, there will be no one, finally, with whom you won’t quarrel.
26 December 1935
Yes, I am always with you to help you in your difficulties. But you must learn to open yourself and receive that help.
With my blessings
3 February 1936
Regarding the absence of domestic workers. A few months ago you told me that we could deduct money for absence from the Darshan tips we give them. I request you to allow me to deduct either the entire amount or part of it during the Darshan month.
In that case, it must be explained very clearly to them that we are starting from this month, so that there is no misunderstanding.
5 February 1936
(Note by Amrita to Kanai:) May I know whether you have taken permission from the Mother for getting kuja water from the filter? According to the rule in force, the Mother’s permission is needed to get the filter water. I write the above to you merely as information, because I heard from a servant that he brought kuja water for you; he came to me at 5.45 p.m. instead of 5.00 p.m.
Really, you could have avoided making a big fuss for such a small thing. I gave the permission.
20 March 1936
Kiran, who already has one table, is asking for a second one in which to keep the photos. We have a dozen cane tables but she wants to have one with drawers.
We cannot give a cane table for keeping the photographs. It is impossible to give two tables with drawers to one person.
10 April 1936
Some relatives of Yagnalakshmi have arrived and she would like to receive them at her place — that is, at Aroul House. She asks you if she may. I saw those people when they were talking on the footpath of Aroul House with S. Ram and Yagnalakshmi. There are two children (a girl and a boy) and a man and a woman.
If she receives them downstairs, it is all right. Upstairs, it is not possible.
11 April 1936
When you have some information to give me about somebody, it is better to give it (or write it) privately, not to speak in front of others.
17 June 1936
Ambu informs me that Mother has asked him to speak to me about the periodical checking of the weights of the Building Service. Chandulal will not allow him to do this, unless he presents an authorisation written by the Mother.
He never spoke a word to me about this subject and naturally I said nothing to him on the subject because I am absolutely ignorant about this matter.
I will not give any authorisation before speaking to Chandulal about it.
18 June 1936
You have spoken about the use of servants in connection with excessive expenses. I would very much like to put before you some suggestions:
1. Give up all the special services: laundry, hot water supply, mosquito-net cleaning, etc.
2. Limit the sweeping of pavements and cleaning of gutters to once a day.
3. Clean the walls, doors and windows only once in every three months.
4. Give up the preparation of manure. The cost of the manure we are making ourselves is quite high. For two or three rupees a month, the municipal workers would be willing to remove our garbage.
In this way we could get rid of six or seven domestic workers.
Sweet Mother has spoken about the confusion around me. How can I get out of these difficulties? All this has saddened me greatly, Sweet Mother.
There is no reason to be sad or to take sudden measures which can only be arbitrary and, as a result, will only replace one confusion with another. If I saw clearly what should be done, I would tell you and the problem would be solved. My comment today was made more to correct a state of mind than to change the state of things. First the true consciousness of things has to come before we can usefully change the aspects of action. This morning I said that everything will be fine when the Light comes down into the subconscient. This in fact is the only remedy and this is what you must work for. For this my help is always with you, but you must learn to take advantage of it.
8 August 1936
I asked Jotindra to explain everything to the owner of Sadhana House so that it will not be necessary for Chandulal to go there. But you must be there.
The owner should not forget that we have given him the full rent in advance and that therefore it is dishonest of him to say that we abandoned the house. Is he ready to reimburse the money we have given him?
December 1940
Vinata is asking for seven extra keys for the gate of Montbrun House to minimise the theft in the house. Each inmate will have one key.
This seems to me increasing the danger instead of diminishing it as some people are sure to lose their keys.
But do for the best . . .
5 September 1955
Series One —Amrita. Originally named Aravamudachari Ayengar, Amrita was one of the first Tamil disciples of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. His correspondence covers the period from 1919 to 1955. The basis of the correspondence are his reports to the Mother and her comments on them. Most of these reports and comments are in English, but a considerable number are in French and appear here in English translation. The correspondence is being published here for the first time.
What follows is background information about Amrita which should help the reader to understand and appreciate the correspondence.
Amrita began living in Sri Aurobindo’s small community of disciples after finishing his schooling in 1919. When the Sri Aurobindo Ashram was formed in November 1926, the Mother appointed him as its general manager, a position he held for the rest of his life. In his capacity as manager, Amrita met with the Mother daily, but he also sent her various notebooks in which he reported his daily activities and indicated any problems. The Mother read these notebooks and sometimes made written comments in their margins and empty spaces. Amrita’s reports and the Mother’s comments on them form the basis of his correspondence.
In every respect this is a “work” correspondence; there is very little spiritual instruction or guidance. Rather, the correspondence shows how the Mother guided an earnest young disciple in helping to run the Ashram.
As the Ashram manager, Amrita had a large range of responsibilities. Among them were: the maintenance of the Ashram dairy and the purchase of additional milk; the safekeeping of money for Ashram members and visitors; the accommodation of visitors; the rental and purchase of houses for the Ashram; arrangement for the repair of newly acquired properties; maintenance of the accounts of paid workers (wages, absences, leaves, bonuses, etc.); the settlement of disputes involving paid workers; the recruitment of new paid workers; the placement of orders with local merchants; the handling of parcels at the railway station; the purchase of stamps and the collection of letters and money orders at the town’s two post offices, French and British; and the payment of New Year tips to postal workers, railway clerks and others. In general Amrita was the Mother’s principal liaison in dealing with government officials, houseowners, landowners, lawyers and the town’s notary; he regularly represented her in negotiations with local officials and members of the town. In executing his myriad activities, Amrita routinely consulted the Mother and did her bidding.
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