The 'psychological preparation' of Satprem for his role as The Mother's confidant, as She narrated her experiences of the 'yoga of the cells' from 1951-1973.
This first volume is mostly what could be called the "psychological preparation" of Satprem. Mother's confidant had to be prepared, not only to understand the evolutionary meaning of Mother's discoveries, to follow the tenuous thread of man's great future unravelled through so many apparently disconcerting experiences - which certainly required a steady personal determination for more than 19 years! - but also, in a way, he had to share the battle against the many established forces that account for the present human mode of being and bear the onslaught of the New Force. Satprem - "True Love" - as Mother called him, was a reluctant disciple. Formed in the French Cartesian mold, a freedom fighter against the Nazis and in love with his freedom, he was always ready to run away, and always coming back, drawn by a love greater than his love for freedom. Slowly she conquered him, slowly he came to understand the poignant drama of this lone and indomitable woman, struggling in the midst of an all-too-human humanity in her attempt to open man's golden future. Week after week, privately, she confided to him her intimate experiences, the progress of her endeavour, the obstacles, the setbacks, as well as anecdotes of her life, her hopes, her conquests and laughter: she was able to be herself with him. He loved her and she trusted him. It is that simple.
(Brief von Satprem an Mutter)
Pondicherry, 26. März 1955
Mutter, von neuem bitte ich um den Eingriff von Mahakali. [[ Mahakali: die ewige Mutter unter ihrem kriegerischen Aspekt. Sie schlägt den Dämonen den Kopf ab. ]] Nach einer Periode, in der alles besser zu gehen schien, verbringe ich nun wieder unmögliche Vormittage, wo ich schlecht lebe, sehr schlecht, weit weg von Dir, und unfähig, Dich zu rufen, und noch weniger, Deine Gegenwart oder Hilfe zu fühlen.
Ich weiß nicht, welcher Schlamm in mir aufsteigt, aber alles verdunkelt sich, und es gelingt mir nicht, mich von diesen vitalen Wellen zu trennen.
Mutter, ohne die Gnade von Mahakali werde ich es niemals schaffen, aus diesem mechanischen Kreis herauszukommen, diese alten Gebilde zu durchbrechen, die immer unverändert wiederkehren. Mutter, ich bitte Dich, hilf mir, diesen Panzer zu DURCHBRECHEN, in dem ich ersticke, befreie mich von mir selbst, befreie mich trotz meines Widerstrebens. Ganz allein vermag ich nichts, manchmal kann ich Dich nicht einmal rufen! Möge Deine Kraft kommen und all meine Unreinheiten verbrennen, meine Widerstände brechen.
Bernard
[[ Das war mein alter, sinnloser Name (außer seiner germanischen Wurzel "rauher Bär"), bis Mutter mich am 3. März 1957 Sat-prem nannte (der, der wahrhaft liebt). ]]
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