The 'psychological preparation' of Satprem for his role as The Mother's confidant, as She narrated her experiences of the 'yoga of the cells' from 1951-1973.
This first volume is mostly what could be called the "psychological preparation" of Satprem. Mother's confidant had to be prepared, not only to understand the evolutionary meaning of Mother's discoveries, to follow the tenuous thread of man's great future unravelled through so many apparently disconcerting experiences - which certainly required a steady personal determination for more than 19 years! - but also, in a way, he had to share the battle against the many established forces that account for the present human mode of being and bear the onslaught of the New Force. Satprem - "True Love" - as Mother called him, was a reluctant disciple. Formed in the French Cartesian mold, a freedom fighter against the Nazis and in love with his freedom, he was always ready to run away, and always coming back, drawn by a love greater than his love for freedom. Slowly she conquered him, slowly he came to understand the poignant drama of this lone and indomitable woman, struggling in the midst of an all-too-human humanity in her attempt to open man's golden future. Week after week, privately, she confided to him her intimate experiences, the progress of her endeavour, the obstacles, the setbacks, as well as anecdotes of her life, her hopes, her conquests and laughter: she was able to be herself with him. He loved her and she trusted him. It is that simple.
(Brief von Satprem an Mutter)
Pondicherry, 3. September 1955
Mutter, seit Wochen scheint es mir, daß ich mich an allen Ecken in mir selbst wie in einem Gefängnis stoße, und es gelingt mir nicht, da hinauszubrechen. Mutter, ich brauche Deine Nähe und Dein Licht, um aus dieser ummauerten Nacht herauszukommen, in der ich ersticke.
Wo auch immer ich mich konzentriere, im Herzen, über dem Kopf, zwischen den Augen - überall stoße ich mich an einer Mauer, die nicht weichen will; ich weiß nicht mehr, zu welcher Seite ich mich wenden soll, was ich tun, sagen, beten muß, um mich endlich zu befreien. Mutter, ich weiß, daß ich nicht alle erforderlichen Anstrengungen mache, aber hilf mir, diese Anstrengung zu machen, ich flehe um Deine Gnade. Ich muß so dringend endlich diesen zuverlässigen Felsen finden, auf den ich mich stützen kann, diesen Raum von Licht, in dem ich endlich Zuflucht finden kann. Mutter, öffne dieses psychische Wesen in mir, öffne mich zu Deinem einzigen Licht, das ich so dringend brauche. Ohne Deine Gnade kann ich mich nur verzweifelt im Kreise drehen. O Mutter, möge ich in Dir leben.
Dein Kind
Bernard
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