Starts the terrible years.The change is DONE: a new mode of being of the cellular consciousness has appeared on earth. The future awaits - will the 'old' yield?
The beginning of the terrible years.... There was the feeling that Mother had found the secret of the change, conquered all she could from her own body, and that she was now sitting there, surrounded by the pack, just putting up with each and every resistance of the old species. "The change is DONE. Everything is tooth and nail, ferociously after me, but it's over." A new mode of being of the cellular consciousness had appeared on earth, as one day, in inert matter, there appeared a new mode of being called life - but this time it is "overlife": "The impression there is a way of being of the cells that would be the beginning of a new body; only, when that comes, the body itself feels it is dying." What would be the feeling of the first corpuscle to experience life? "The body feels it has reached the point of.... unknown. A very, very strange sensation. A sort of new vibration. It's so new that.... I can't speak of anguish, but it's.... the unknown. A mystery of the unknown." And there, what we call death is like the other side of the bowl for the former fish, and yet it is not "another world": "They are surprisingly one within the other! There is something there.... Is it possible? For overlife is both life and death together." And then, this cry of the breakthrough: "What appears to us as 'the laws of nature' is nonsense!...." Another world ON EARTH in which the old mortal laws of our bowl break down.... into something else? "I have just had a fantastic vision of the cradle of a future.... which is not very far. It's like a formidable mass suspended above the earth." But will the old pack let her go through to the end?
(Satprem hatte Mutter einen aufgebrachten Brief geschrieben, weil man häßliche "Anschuldigungen" gegen ihn vorgebracht und außerdem Mutter gegenüber den Verdacht geäußert hatte - aus welchen Gründen, ist nicht bekannt -, daß sein Freund, der Marquis B, in "Spionageaffären" verwickelt sei. Diese Eifersüchteleien waren ihm unverständlich, und Satprem wunderte sich, daß Mutter sich überhaupt einen solchen Tratsch anhörte. Er verstand nicht, daß Mutter nicht darauf "hörte", sondern tatsächlich an allen Elementen, die auf sie zukamen, arbeitete. Dies war ihr "schmutziges Kampffeld", wie sie es nannte. Diese traurigen Zwischenfälle sind nur ein Zeichen, daß die Atmosphäre um Mutter herum anfing ... merkwürdig zu werden.)
Satprem, mein liebes Kind,
Ich glaube nicht, was Udar mir sagt, auch nicht, was mir sonst jemand sagt. Der Herr hat mir die Macht gegeben, die Dinge so zu sehen, wie sie sind, und ich urteile nicht.
Unsere Beziehung ist so beschaffen, daß sie nicht durch solche Kindereien untergraben werden kann.
Also bis morgen, in Frieden und in Freude, damit auch die letzten Wolken sich auflösen.
Mit meiner ganzen Zärtlichkeit und meinem Segen,
Mutter
***
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