Flame of Love

Foiba, as I Know Her

If you have the power of observation you can find this world full of enthralling personalities and circumstances. There are those who want to be forever basking in the blessed innocence of children; there are those who prefer the fragrant ambience of beautiful flowers — of all-absorbing nature; there are those who choose always the invigorating company of the youth, their brilliant creative talents; and finally, there are those who seek the boundless peace and purifying presence of the spiritually advanced.

I have been very fortunate to discover the place where all these sought-after things, in fact, everything you really need, exist together, at the same time. It is Sri Aurobindo's Ashram at Pondicherry — a creation of the Divine Mother. And here, I have found a most extraordinary personage, and that is Foiba (the paternal aunt) of Champaklalbhai. and Bansidharbhai. Of the hundred and eleven years that she passed on earth, I was in contact with her only in the last forty-five during which I had many an interesting experience of her nature and attainments, and she became my Foiba also.

The most significant of the Divine Mother's messages that Foiba tirelessly reiterated to us children taking their first faltering steps on the long and difficult path of the Integral Yoga was, to put it in her Gujarati,

Jeevan-ma apan-ne matra ekaj vastuni jaroor baniraho — Prabhu-no sakshatkara. "Let there be only one need in our life: the realisation of the Divine."

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Foiba was "Great". I cannot find words adequate enough to describe her. So many times Foiba and I have communicated with each other without words. And we reached so much understanding because of the transparency of love and understanding that grew between us. Of course, she was always perfectly spontaneous with everyone, living at every moment in her true self. But by the Divine Mother's Grace she gave me a special place not only in her home but also in her heart and life.

Foiba's words used to come to me like Arjun's arrows, always hitting the right spot. Forceful words that always reached where they had to reach. Haven't you felt an arrow of her quiver flying out with all her love from her bow?

Once, in my early days, in 1960, I told her, "Foiba, I don't like Pondicherry, but I am so happy that I have seen the Divine Mother and I am here. I have all around me love from my family, as well as from you and your family; and what is most important is that the Mother has received me with so much love and has blessed me. I feel like 'a fish in the water', for there is nothing which is missing in life. In short, I am very happy in spite of all the other troubles that are there. Why?"

Then she told me one of her experiences: "I had come here only to find out why Champaklal was not returning home; why he continued to be in Pondicherry. But so great was my feeling after seeing Sri Aurobindo that I couid never go back."

I said, "Foiba, you must have felt this place as I am now feeling it — Paradise on Earth. But then, after experiencing such a lofty Joy, why are these troubles still bothering

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me? They should not!" Then she sang two lines of a popular Bhajan of poet Preetam:

Hari-no maarag chche shoorano,

nahi kayara-nu kaam jone

Part ham pahela mastaq mooki

varati lejo naam jone.

"The path leading to the Lord is for the warrior; no place in it for cowards;

Offer up your head at his feet first, if you wish to utter his name effectively."

Most people here know that Foiba had a lucid memory. Up to the very end she remained clear-headed, graceful and strong. Above all she loved singing Bhajans. Whenever she spoke or sang, the truth behind her words leaped out and reached where it had to reach and served its purpose very well. She always gave me the feeling that she could clearly see my inner being and how I needed her unselfish love to progress in life.

Foiba used to have many experiences, visions and dreams. And often she would narrate them to me. She liked me to read to her from certain books and I enjoyed reading them to her. During that time we would both forget the passage of time. We enjoyed those satsangs and always I returned from her room with an immense joy, filled with a nourishing food for my soul.

A recent incident has left a deep impression on me. It shall remain vibrantly alive in my memory. I shall try to

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narrate the whole episode exactly as it happened, but I am not sure if I will succeed in expressing it fully. However, I am very happy to share my experience with others. I am sure there are people on this earth endowed with the insight to understand properly the language of Love and Faith for which words are not the true medium. The following narration is just an attempt at expressing them.

Once, while Foiba was thinking of Lord Rama, Hanuman came and sat beside her on her cot. After sometime Sri Aurobindo also came and stood in front of her. Then Hanuman was asked to leave and he went away.

While relating this experience, Foiba seemed overwhelmed with happiness, for she had had the darshan of the Lord. Whenever she talked about Sri Aurobindo one could see how everything was vibrantly alive in her — Joy, Force, Health, etc. She lived in Eternity and was rejuvenated by the Darshan of her Majestic Master. After hearing her experience I took the liberty of asking her, "Why did Hanuman have to leave after the coming of Sri Aurobindo? If they both were there with you, you would have been happier, isn't it?" She was engrossed in her experience and did not answer but I persisted, "Why was Hanuman asked to leave when Sri Aurobindo came?" Since I stuck to my question, she was forced to answer.

She told me with firmness and politeness the words that Sri Aurobindo had uttered, Hoon chchu ne? "I am with you always."

Only three words but how powerful and forceful!

There are many other incidents and conversations which may sound like common-place happenings, but when

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understood deeply were profound and great experiences, powerful enough to quench one's thirst for the higher life of love, truth, purity, dedication, totality, in all the activities of one's daily life.

I consider myself very fortunate that I was closely associated with Foiba. Practice, thorough and integral, was the aim of her life. Never could one feel uncomfortable with her.

Nayana Zaveri

Grant, I implore Thee, that all in my being may be

identified with Thee. May I be nothing else any more

than a flame of Love utterly awakened to a supreme

realisation of Thee.

- The Mother

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