Golden Memories

Part I

Reminiscences of our Early Life

Photo - On top father Tejen Mukherjee, from left to right Togo, Prithwin, Rohin, and mother Usha. This photo was taken in 1948 by photographer Vidyabrata in the Santal garden where lived the poet Nishikanto

Since childhood, I was familiar with the names of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. Their photos hung in our house. My parents were their disciples. Vinodebala Devi (elder sister of my grandfather Bagha Jatin who was Sri Aurobindo’s revolutionary colleague) and Sarojini Ghose (Sri Aurobindo’s younger sister) were good friends. Sarojini Didimoni used to visit our house.

The tales narrated by relatives and family friends who had been visiting Sri Aurobindo Ashram influenced my infant mind. For me, it was an El Dorado.

In the 1940s under the Muslim League majority the Hindus of undivided Bengal were subjected to atrocities. In protest, my father, Tejendranath, launched the Sanatan Dharma Parishad inspired by Sri Aurobindo’s writings and with His consent. Dr. Shyamaprasad Mookherjee happily lent his full support. Tejendranath revived and also edited the Bengali review Sarathi which was issued by Deshbandhu C. R. Das during the First World War with Anilbaran Roy as its founder editor.

One day in 1947 Nolinikanta Gupta informed my father that Sri Aurobindo considered the time ripe for his visit for a Darshan. On Independence Day in 1947 my parents were fortunate to witness the Mother hoisting Her flag on the terrace of the Ashram main building. Later Rajanikanta Palit told Prithwin that Nolinikanta wanted Palit to receive and drive Bagha Jatin’s son and daughter-in-law, who were “Sri Aurobindo’s guests”. The next  year, in August 1948, my two elder brothers and I accompanied my parents. Before leaving for Pondicherry, we went to pay our respects to Barin Dadu, the younger brother of Sri Aurobindo, who was hospitalised at that time. He was glad to see the whole family together after a long time and learned that we were going to the Ashram for the Mother’s and Sri Aurobindo’s Darshan. He caressed and blessed us saying, “Dadubhaira, how fortunate you are to have their grace. Come back and tell me your experiences.”

Since long, at the back of my mind, I had chosen to live in the Ashram and, before leaving Calcutta, I bid goodbye to my friends, as if we were not to return any more. When my mother came to know this, she took me to task. However, after the Darshan of 15th August, shortly before our return to Calcutta, we three brothers clearly felt that we did not want to leave this paradise where the Mother understood children so well and helped them grow in absolute freedom. During the evening distribution of peanuts at the Playground, we told the Mother about our wish to live under Her protection. She thought for a while and asked us whether our parents know about this decision. On learning that it was a spontaneous prayer from our hearts, she smiled and promised to consider our wish.

When it was turn of ‘Ma’ (my mother, Usha Mukherjee) to receive Prasad, the Mother caught hold of her hands: “Look here. The boys are unwilling to go back to Calcutta. This is of course the choice of their soul. But they are so young; someone has to be there to look after them. Will it be possible for you to stay on to look after them on my behalf?” With tearful eyes, “Ma” informed Her that she had planned to join the Ashram with my father after bringing us up at Calcutta. Henceforth, the Mother’s proposal was for her an unexpressed and long-cherished dream come true.

Overjoyed, the youthful Sudhir Sarkar ran to share with Nolini-da the good news that we had been accepted by the Mother as permanent members of the Ashram. He, with a smile, told Sudhir-dadu what he had heard from Sri Aurobindo: our grandfather had always been with the Master in his past lives and that he had been serving Him without asking anything in return. And the Mother held that we naturally belonged to the Ashram.

Much later, pleased with the rapid progress Prithwin was making, thanks to the exercises with Dada [Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya], one afternoon the Mother surrounded his head fondly with her hands and told Dada: “It is amazing, the tremendous will power each member of his family has!” (At the age of five Prithwin’s legs were affected by polio.)

We went to the Ashram school. “Ma” worked in the Dining Room and in Albert-da’s Tailoring Department with Lilavati “Kakima”, sister of Raja Subodh Mullick and wife of Charuchandra Dutta (Sri Aurobindo’s friend—“Dadu”—who taught us history.)

Some events of my early years in the Ashram have determined my life forever.

On joining playground I was put in Group B with the boys and girls of my age. There was no Physical Education Department uniform as yet. The Playground was situated in the middle of the old buildings of a godown turned into the school. During recess the students used the ground for recreation. Some of us even played hide and seek on the sloped tiled roofs. At the end of 1949, it was categorically forbidden to go on the precarious dilapidated roofs. Some of the boys, in spite of that, continued their games secretly. One fateful day I yielded to the temptation and joined them. Hardly had I climbed a few tiles than the unexpected happened. Dada (Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya) spotted us. Consequence? In the evening, after the group activities were over, we, the offenders stood at the end of the line, with our heads bowed down. The Mother passed in front of us and distributed nuts without a smile, without a word, without a question. What a humiliation! After joining the Ashram I had pledged to myself that I would be an ideal child of the Mother. I would do nothing to displease Her. Here I was now—just because of a moment’s negligence, what a severe punishment was meted out to me! On seeing me fall into a depression, Prithwin, my brother, told Dada about this. When Dada informed the Mother, She said, “That’s the way the Divine works. Whenever a sincere aspirant errs, he is immediately corrected.”

One of the memories that remains is that of Monsieur Benjamin’s French class. Once a student had violated some rules and he tried to justify it. Monsieur said, “That’s a lie.” The student in his defence continued to invent excuses. Annoyed, Monsieur then firmly said, “Lie upon lie. To justify one lie, another lie. There will be no end to lies.” This very active Monsieur Benjamin—in spite of his French name—came from a family of Tamil Brahmins (Thirou). He was in charge of several Ashram services: filter water, cycles, umbrella repair, making mattresses and French caps. In his department, the following message was inscribed in bold letters on a black-board, “Aide-toi, le ciel t’aidera.” (God helps those who help themselves).

In our childhood, on normal days we used to see the Mother five or six times a day. On birthdays it could be ten to twelve times or more.

Early in the afternoon, the Mother used to come down by the staircase next to Nirod-da’s room for “Vegetable Darshan”, where the Ashram garden produce was shown to Her. It was here that the Mother gave gifts to Baudet (the donkey that Richard looked after) and the pet deer of Govindaraj, on their birthdays. Several of us were daily attendants to this Darshan. On some days, the Mother in a playful mood, haphazardly threw flowers—especially marigolds (symbolising “plasticity”)—to each of us, to test how alert and supple we were in catching them.

In spring 1950, after years of endeavour, Jatin-da, one of the persons in charge of the flower gardens, had succeeded in growing a cold-climate flower, Poet’s Narcissus (“Beauty Aspiring for the Supramental Realisation”), imported fromFrance. He kept the flower-pot on display, by the side of the path leading to the staircase door.

Bhai, Sudhir-dadu’s youngest son, happened to be there. He was fond of teasing Jatin-da with the effect of the latter’s mock anger. After hurling verbally on Jatin-da a hearty “potlango” (a nonsense word prompted by Jatin-da’s Chittagong dialect) he suddenly chased me. I began to run. When a man obstructed my passage, I jumped over the flower pots. Immediately I heard Jatin-da’s howl. Turning back I realised the disaster: the Narcissus was lying pathetically on the ground. Jatin-da was in a fit, growling and menacing. Bewildered, my immediate reaction was to run upstairs and seek the Mother’s protection. Amused to see me in such a state, She listened to me attentively before consoling me with the warning, “My child, you know very well that you should not be playing chasing game inside the Ashram. Remember!” Returning downstairs, I found Jatin-da still fuming. Then, realising that the Mother had already come down, he dragged me with his left hand, sticking the broken stem of the Narcissus inside my hand and asking me to offer it to the Mother. He then informed Her about the incident. She heard him patiently and replied, “It is a beautiful flower. A good achievement.” Jatin-da was pacified. Then unexpectedly the Mother gave the flower to me with a smile.

We were soon promoted to group “C” or the grey group of the dynamic young boys, who, like all other inmates of the Ashram, dreamt and strove to live the ideals of our Masters. In 1953, one of us had the idea of forming a nucleus to enhance the effort towards our goal. On the evening of 1st June, inside the Mother’s room in the Playground, we gathered around Her and She gave to each of us the typed “Charter” of the “Corps d’ Élite de la JSASA” with Her blessings and encouragement, stressing the gravity and the responsibility of such an undertaking.

In 1948, for a short time we lived in No. 3, in what is now Sri Aurobindo Street. Opposite our house was the Ashram Department where hand-made paper was produced by Kiran-da (Choudhury). I was introduced to him by his boss, Sudhir Dadu. It was a totally manual process using waste paper as raw material. Only a very small percentage of the manufactured paper was of any use. I frequented that place mainly hunting for stamps. Out of curiosity and playfulness, I learnt about the process and at times tried my hand at it. Little did I know then how important this activity would be for me in the future.

Talking about stamps reminds me of Madeleine. She was a Swedish physiotherapist and a gymnast, who had a gift of inspiring young people to learn in a very natural way. She had organized a few exhibitions and extracurricular competitions in various fields to motivate us, as if anticipating the new system of education the Mother was going to install very soon. The Mother was always consulted as the judge. Madeleine’s first venture during Christmas, 1951, was a competition of the Ashram’s stamp collectors along with an exhibition of some of the Mother’s own collection. It was held in the Playground in the Mother’s classroom. Each participant had to display a fixed number of stamps on a panel, arrange them according to a theme of his choice, and give all available details about each stamp and the country.

I had drawn Sri Aurobindo’s symbol on a large sheet of white drawing paper and had arranged the appropriate stamps in it describing Sri Aurobindo’s concept of Involution and Evolution. The Mother gave me the first prize and the second prize to my brother Prithwin. She gave the prizes of stamps not only to the three winners but also consolation prizes to all the participants. The Bulletin report says: “The exhibits were remarkably well arranged and showed considerable ingenuity on the part of the exhibitors, some of them very young children.” [Bulletin, Feb. 1952, p. 76.]

I was good in studies and also a good all-round sportsman. I am generally considered to be the Ashram’s all-time best Malkhamb performer. This discipline (the Wrestler’s Pillar) was developed by ingenious Indian wrestlers to prepare them for strength, agility, quick reflexes, suppleness and courage. It was a favourite item in the special demonstrations of the Physical Education Department. The Mother always appreciated it and encouraged me.

I was also fond of wrestling and boxing. In 1958 I won the Boys’ Grey Group boxing championship.

Another activity that played an important role in my early years was taking part in the Ashram’s dance dramas — I was fortunate enough to be often selected for the main role. One year the Mother chose me as Durga’s lion, another time as the god Agni.

For the 1st December 1955, in the very long dance drama “The Spiritual Destiny of India” the Mother gave me two roles, those of Shiva and Adi Shankaracharya. She was very pleased with my performance and told me, “You had embodied fully the true spirit of Shiva. All your gestures were full of power and elegance.” This programme was personally directed by the Mother herself. (See the Bulletin, Feb. 1956, p. 96). All old timers still remember it with nostalgia.

Thereafter whenever there was some special role, the Mother would tell Anuben (Ashram dance director and daughter of Sri A. B. Purani), “Ask Togo if he is willing to participate.”