The Working of Their Grace

Part 3

In 1953 I went to Pondicherry with my family. We reached Pondicherry on the 8th May. Most probably it was the Blessings Day. We went to the meditation hall for the Mother's blessings. When my wife's turn came she placed her head in the Mother's lap. The Mother put Her hand on my wife's head and when my wife turned to go the Mother's eyes followed her intently till she disappeared round the corner of M. P. Pandit's room.

The 13th May was my wife's birthday. We all were allowed into the Mother's room. My wife bowed down. The Mother blessed her and gave her a bunch of flowers. Then my son aged 6 stood before the Mother and prostrated himself. The Mother laughed and laughed. It was so charming. Then my eldest daughter stood before the Mother. When the Mother saw her eyes, She exclaimed "Such beautiful eyes!" In the evening also at the Playground we were allowed into the Mother's room. There when my wife was returning after paying her respects to the Mother, her sari got entangled with the knob of the door. The Mother saw it and at once got the sari free from the knob and switched on the light.

How considerate the Mother was!

In 1955 I revisited Pondicherry. This time I put two questions to the Mother.

(1) Whether we can celebrate Ramnavmi, Janmasthmi and the birthdays of Buddha and Christ by placing the photo of the person concerned before those of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and offering flowers to him.(2) Whether we can invite a person not interested in Sri Aurobindo's Yoga to our centre and hear his discourse.

On the day of my departure, while I was on my way to the Ashram in the evening for darshan of the Samadhi, one X met me. He said, "N is looking for you." I met N and asked, "What is the matter?" He said, "Your two questions. Mother says that She has no objection." On hearing this I blurted out, "Mother has no objection even if we die, what I want to know is whether these things can be done." He said, "Personally I believe that these things should not be done."

I had met Nolini Kanta and requested him that as I was going I wanted the Mother's blessings. He told me to come to the Playground at 6 p.m. I went there at 5.45. One K was with me. We met Nolini Kanta. At 6 the Mother came out of Her room. Nolinida took us to the Mother and introduced me to Her. "Vallabh Sheth from Mehsana." I offered flowers to the Mother. She said, "Going?" I bent down and put my head on Her feet. She placed Her hand on my head. I was in front of the Mother, Nolinida on my left and K on my right. Even today I can visualise the scene. The Mother gave me a smile and then went away.

In December 1957 I went to Pondicherry with my family. The 29th December was my birthday. I went to M. P. Pandit on the 28th and requested him to arrange for birthday blessings from the Mother. He asked, "What will you like to have from the Mother?" I said, "A photo and a book of Her choice." He said, "That is not possible, time is short." I had nothing to say. In the noon of the 28th I went to the Ashram building. A note from M. P. Pandit was awaiting me. It said, "The Mother will give you a book of Her choice. The photo also is selected." Naturally I was filled with joy.

The morning of the 29th came. We all went into the Mother's room for blessings. I offered flowers to Her and put my head on Her feet. She put Her hand on my head and then gave me flowers along with the book and photograph of Her choice. I gave the flowers, the book and the photograph to my wife. Then I told the Mother that I wanted to say a prayer. She answered, "Yes!" With folded hands and bended knees I began my prayer. Hardly had I spoken ten to fifteen words when the Mother jerked Her head a little and brought Her eyes on a level with my eyes and looked intensely into them. My soul lay bare to Her gaze. Tears of joy welled up. The Mother continued to look into my eyes till the end of the prayer. I repeated the last sentence of the prayer thrice. When I repeated the second and third time she said, "Yes." The scene is imprinted in memory forever.

In the evening we were allowed into the Mother's room at the Playground. The day was unique in this respect that I was the only person to receive birthday blessings. After entering the room I first of all offered a dish of flowers to the Mother. Before I bent down to put my head on Her feet, the Mother put a question and my soul answered. I put my head in the Mother's lap. She gave me a glorious smile. My soul realised what Sri Aurobindo had said in His book The Mother. While describing the form of Mahalakshmi He wrote:

"...grace and charm and tenderness flow out from her like light from the sun and wherever she fixes her wonderful gaze or lets fall the loveliness of her smile, the soul is seized and made captive and plunged into the depths of an unfathomable bliss."

The Mother's smile cannot be described. One is reminded of Dante's lines:

Quel ch'ella par quando un poco sorride,Non sipo dicer né tenere a manté,Si è novo miracolo e gentile.What she appears when she smiles a little,Cannot be spoken of, neither can the mind lay hold on it,It is so sweet and strange and sublime a miracle.

Then the Mother asked me by signs to spread my handkerchief on Her lap. I did so. She put some toffees in the spread handkerchief. After remaining silent for some time She added some more toffees and then gave the handkerchief to me with a smile. The whole scene is before my eyes even today.

In May 1958 I went again to Pondicherry with my family. My wife was suffering from profuse bleeding. She had become very weak. She walked with difficulty. On the day we reached Pondicherry I saw M. P. Pandit and told him that we would like to pay our respects to the Mother the same day. He asked me to come to the Playground in the evening. We went there and we entered the Mother's room. Up till then I had no talk with my wife. The children first bowed down before the Mother. At this time my wife caught hold of my hand and asked me to tell the Mother about her bleeding and pray for cure. Naturally the Mother looked at me, with questioning eyes. I said, "She is suffering from profuse bleeding and she prays that she be cured." On hearing this the Mother cast a glance on my wife from head to foot. Incredible as it may seem, the bleeding stopped that moment.

The 13th May was my wife's birthday. We all were allowed into the Mother's room. We received Her blessings. On that day I prayed to the Mother for a message in writing.

Some days later Nolinida met me in the Playground and asked me, "How many days are you staying here?" I was surprised at the question. I asked him, "Any wrong movement on our part?" He said, "No, no, you have asked for a message from the Mother. Mother wants to know how many days you will be here." I replied, "Fifteen days or so." Days passed and I did not receive the message, so I thought that the Mother did not think it fit to give me a message. On the 2nd June at about 9 p.m. we were going to our room. We saw the Mother's car coming from the Playground. So we came back and stood near the gate. The Mother came and when She passed by me, She halted for a fraction of a second near me, Her eyes saying, "You will get your message tomorrow." And I got the message on the 3rd June 1958.

In December 1958, I alone went to Pondicherry. At that time the Mother was not coming out or seeing anyone due to ill-health. I was informed that She would be coming out on the 25th December. So I had gone to Pondicherry as my birthday fell on the 29th December. But the expectation did not come true. The Mother did not come out. So I was disappointed and irritated. I met M. P. Pandit near the Samadhi and blurted out, "What is the use of coming over more than 1400 miles if we can't have the darshan of the Mother?" He said, "Her health is our first concern. My brother has come for the first time travelling more than 2000 miles, but I have not prayed to the Mother to give him darshan." I could say nothing. I did not know at that time that my prayer was heard. On the next day, I was standing by the Samadhi at about 1.30 p.m., just opposite the window on the 1st floor. At that time the Mother appeared there and stood there for a minute or two and I had Her darshan.

In May 1959 I went to Pondicherry with my family. My two daughters were in the Ashram. They were to accompany us back to our place. We all were allowed into the Mother's room. The Mother embraced my daughters more than once. It was a sight to see. The Divine embracing the human. Of course we all received blessings of the Mother.

In 1960 one G came to my place with his friend. I thought G must have come for some business. So I asked, "What is the matter?" G placed in my hand a letter. The letter was from the secretary of the Ashram informing G that the Mother was sending blessings to him and he should see me for information about the Ashram. It was satisfying to know that the Ashram authorities considered me a fit person to give information.

There was a gap of ten years and I went to Pondicherry in 1969 with my family. The 13th May was my wife's birthday and we were allowed into the Mother's room. The moment I entered it I became deaf and went blind i.e., I had no ears or eyes for anything else. I saw only the Mother's eyes. Even Her body was not visible. I learnt afterwards that my daughter had a talk with the Mother and that my daughter's son aged 3 had offered of his own accord three paisa to the Mother, saying "Mataji, take this." He had offered all he had. I learnt that the Mother had accepted the child's offering and placed it in a different dish. While we were leaving the Mother's room I came back from the door and prostrated myself before Her. She looked at me with questioning eyes and my soul answered. She smiled and there was a look of approval in Her eyes.

In July 1972 I determined to go to Pondicherry. The moment I resolved, Hostile Forces began their attack. They sent me various kinds of suggestions. "You can't go. You will die, it is no use going," etc. But this time I had resolved for good that, come what might, I was going to Pondicherry for the Mother's darshan.

My wife and I went to my son's place on the 19th December. We were to start for Pondicherry on the 21st December. In the evening of the 20th I was brushing my teeth. All of a sudden, I leaned on my left. My wife and son inquired what the matter was. I could not reply. They caught hold of me and placed me on the bed. After some forty-five minutes I was able to speak. We started on the morning of the 21st for Bombay. We reached Bombay at about 3 p.m. My younger brother had come to receive us. We alighted and boarded a local train. As the place of our destination came near, my brother told me, "Come near the door." I got up and moved towards the door. During this short period a pickpocket relieved me of my wallet. With it went all the money I had taken for my expenses of the trip to Pondicherry. When I became aware of the theft, I laughed. The Mother's grace acted and I did not mind the theft. My poise was not disturbed. We started for Pondicherry on the 24th December from Bombay and reached it on the 26th.

The 29th December was my birthday. We went into the Mother's room.

When my turn came I put my head in the Mother's lap. She looked at me and put a question to my soul. My soul answered. She smiled. At this time Champaklalbhai said to the Mother, "He wants special blessings for progress in sadhana." On hearing this the Mother went into a trance for some minutes, then stretched out Her left hand for a blessing packet. Champaklalbhai gave the packet into Her hand. She gave it to me with a smile and put Her hand on my head. I was overjoyed.

In 1973, on the 17th November, I went to bed at 9 p.m. as is usual with me. In the night I heard some words. I do not remember them all, I remember only the following:

"The Consciousness was centralized in the body. Now decentralized universal working."

I could not understand the meaning then. In the morning of the 18th one D came at about 9 a.m. and told me, "The radio has announced that the Mother withdrew from her body yesterday at 7.25 p.m." Then I understood the meaning of the words that I had heard in the night.

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother can make the dumb to talk, the blind to see and the lame to stride over the hills.