A Luminous Life

The passing of Madhav Pandit

I want to set down, too, what I remember of Madhav's own passing, many years later, long after our travels had ended. When it became clear that he needed to go to hospital in Chennai, we were told it would be a matter of three days — one day to travel, one for tests, one more before returning. Madhav himself chose the small team who would accompany him: doctors, every one of them, except for Shraddhalu, who went as the strong young man of the group and as a representative of the family. He did not want women near him at that time. I understood, later, that it was not a slight — only that we were too attached to him, too emotional, and he wanted around him only the kind of quiet, steady strength the boys could give. Ram, who was not himself a medical doctor, was also asked to stay behind for want of space in the car, though he was in tears at being left; Madhav told him simply, "I'm coming back in three days. You be here."

I could not go with him, but I did not need to be physically at his side to feel what was happening. I arranged an Ashram taxi, and Ram and I followed the next day to Chennai, where my father then lived; we stayed at his house, while Madhav himself was lodged, with his small team of doctors, at the home of a businessman friend, Mahendra Bajoria. I was not present in the room itself when Madhav finally left his body — only the boys he had chosen were allowed in, right to the end. But I do not think that mattered, in the way it might seem to. Some things are simply between the disciple and his Guru, arranged in whatever way is truly needed at the time, and it is not for us to feel excluded by it.