Letters to Vasudha and Chandulal
The Mother : correspondence
THEME/S
Letters To My Little smile
My love and blessings for you and for them.
July 17, 1936
Maman,
You said that there is something closed in me which is not opening to you and that that is why even when I want to feel your love in my heart (which you say is already there) I don't feel it. What is closed ? My heart ? or something else ? I don't understand all this.
I want it to open to you and I want to feel your love in my heart always.
But if it is really closed, how to open it ? What should I do to open it ?
For really I want it to open to you and I want to
be happy for ever.
Your little child
My dear little smile,
I know only one way: giving oneself—a complete consecration to the Divine; the more one gives oneself the more one opens, the more one opens the more one receives, and it is in the intimacy of this self-giving that one can become conscious of the inner Presence and
the joy it brings.
Love from your maman
July 25, 1936
The word "consecration" is not enough for me to
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understand how exactly one can consecrate oneself to the Divine.
In order to give myself to you more and more what should I do ? How, in what way will I be able to give myself to you more and more ?
Sri Aurobindo's reply:
Just as you give yourself through work to the Mother doing all for her, so there is an inner giving or consecration. Ordinarily the mind and vital live for themselves, want this or that, seek after it and feel dissatisfied and unfulfilled if they do not get it. But when they give themselves, this ceases. Whatever the Mother does with them that they accept ask for nothing, rely on her entirely, live for her will and not for their desires. Then they begin to be empty of their old selves and old movements, fill with the presence of the Mother ,the will of the Mother, the workings of the Mother that becomes all their life.
Sri Aurobindo
The Mother's reply:
Love to my dear little smile.
July 27, 1936
The Mother
Dear maman, I tell you frankly when / am not happy: -when with
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great joy someone tells me of his beautiful and happy experiences, it is then that I feel so poor; I feel that I do not yet have in me what I should have.
And I ask you always for the silence and peace (as I told you the other day) for I know that if one can always keep that silence and peace one never feels poor,
for any reason.
I don't want to be, I don't want to feel so poor.
Your poor little child
The silence and peace are there working to manifest. Let the mind and vital give all themselves and they will pour in and reveal themselves.
You have already had that experience of peace and silent joy, you know what it is and it is sure to return more strongly and more stably. Keep confident, do not worry, thus you will hasten its coming.
July 30,1936
Specially, do not be upset; remain very calm and confident so as to be able to receive fully what Sri
Aurobindo will give you on the 15th.
With all my love
August 10, 1936
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I find that I have lost everything. All that was good in me, all is lost. Before, I always felt that I was doing everything for you, in all the work I did this feeling of "working for you" was always with me.
Now it seems to me that I have lost this feeling, Only the work remains: the stitches that these hands make do not have much value, they are dead stitches.
I know that one must keep this feeling of "doing everything for you" constantly. Without that one can-not even have the joy of work and without that nothing is possible.
Maman, when shall I have this feeling ? This is my real need.
My dear little child, are you aware of any cause behind this change? Surely there must be one.... Moreover, these days when the Ashram is full of visitors, there is great confusion which often brings a darkening of the consciousness. One ought not to be too sad about it and simply will, with calm and perseverance, for the light to reappear. My love is always with you to help you get rid of this wrong movement.
Affectionately
August 30,1936
Yes, I think I know the cause of this change. Is it
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not the desire to be admired by people ? ego ? or is it something else ? If you know you will let me know. I must know it in order to get rid of it.
Your child
Yes, my dear little child, you have indeed found the real cause; and, were you not, somehow, rather unhappy that I have not been wearing your embroidered saris all these days ? The reason surely is not that I do not like to wear them, on the contrary. But they are rather heavy and warm and I prefer to keep them for wearing between November and January — a period during which there are many visitors due to the vacations and during which I shall wear the embroidered saris with greatest pleasure since the weather is a bit cooler.
It is true that you need to get rid of these movements which are ignorant and petty; but at the same time, you may be sure that I appreciate and love your work immensely. I have great admiration for your embroidery, and for you, great love.
Your maman
August 31,1936
My little Eternal Smile,
Must go on smiling, smiling still more when the difficulties come. Smiles are like rays of the sun, they dissolve the clouds.... And if you want the radical remedy,
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it is this: frankness—be absolutely frank; tell me fully all that is going on in you, and soon the cure will come, a complete and happy cure.
To my little smile
most lovingly
My child,
Don't pretend to be silly when you are not. Not only was I not angry, but I had not the slightest intention of looking angry.
I looked only straight into your soul, trying to reestablish the connection between it and your outer consciousness. And I took your laughter for a sign of your conversion !
Beware of false pride—it leads only to ruin. And do not belittle the Divine's love, because without it nothing is worth living for.
I know that you are too sensible and sensitive to ignore this truth.
Always lovingly
September 6, 1936
My dear maman,
Today my mathematics teacher has given me good news. He said that Pavitra would give physics lessons twice a week and that if I had the time I could attend this class.
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1 have the time, and I want to take advantage of it. What do you say?*
Vasudha
*Best wishes.
Certainly you can attend the class. I am sure you will gain much from it.
My blessings and my love July 19,1940
My dear child,
I know very well that you ask nothing from anyone and it is spontaneously that Bayabai brings clothes for you; but since you have not asked anything of me for a very long time, I thought you might need these petticoats and that is why I sent them to you. The white one had been offered to me and I had kept it to give it to whoever might need it. I think you can keep them both, now that I have given them to you.
With my blessings and my love
December, 1940
[Telegram sent to Vasudha's family shortly after Chandulal's passing (November 1945)}
Vasudha's home is here/ She will not go/ Your coming not necessary.
The Mother, Sri Aurobindo
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The Mother and Vasudha (July 5, 1969)
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Vasudha,
Would you bring me a waistcoat to the play ground at about 6 o'clock in the evening ? It is really too hot to put it on before I leave the house and without it at sunset I would feel cold. I am asking you to bring it instead of taking it myself in the car, because I need you to pin the veil1 properly on it.
I hope it will not inconvenience you.
With all my affection and blessings.
January 10,1949
To Vasudha,
faithful companion,
skilled in service,
Bonne Fete!
With all my love and
blessings.
January 6,1962
To Vasudha whose precious help prevents my feet from being hurt by the stones on the way.
With my love and blessings so that her aspiration maybe realised this year.
January 6, 1963
1 the chunni
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1972
How are you ?Love
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