Songs from the soul

Divine Presence

Thou art always with me, Mother, Thou art inside my heart and above my head; if ever I do not feel or realise Thy presence, that is entirely my own fault, due to a still lingering play of the old nature in me

Thou art not only with me, but Thou art also helping me always to realise Thy presence and by all means trying to draw me towards Thyself. Thou descendest into my mind in the form of luminous truths; Thou descendest into my work in the form of omnipotent will; Thou descendest into my heart, removing all dryness from it, flooding it with the divine joy of Thy love. External Nature, ever renewing its forms of beauty, indicates Thy play of self-manifestation in the universe. The infinite, immutable, silent sky, pervading everything in the world, takes me out of my finite ego and continually reminds me of my highest self, from where I can

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truly realise Thy divine play. Thy Grace and protection is always with me, Mother, whether I am conscious of it or not.

If Thou hast given me so much, Mother, give me also the integral consciousness, in which I shall be able always to feel Thy presence in me and make my whole life a conscious, constant devotion to Thee.

Thou art so near to me, my Lord, living in the heart of my heart; yet in my ignorance I think Thee to be so distant, so far away from me!

Thou art with me every moment of my life, standing by me in my joy and my sorrow, in my glory and my shame, in my virtue and my sin ; Thou art always supporting me, cheering me, with the utmost care leading me out of misery and darkness to joy and light. Yet in; my ignorance I think that I am a helpless mortal wandering alone on the earth; that Thou, my Lord, dost not at all care for me, dost not even think of me.

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Thou art seeking my love and homage in infinite ways; Thou appearest before me in various guises in the world and attractest me towards Thee. Whichever way I may turn, Thou always placest Thyself in my front; yet in my ignorance blindfolded I can see Thee nowhere, and live in misery.

Now I do realise that Thou art more near and dear to me than what I regard to be my own self; Thou takest more care of me than ever I can take of myself; in the form of the Divine Mother Thou hast come to me, my Lord, and openly declared Thy love; all my misery has ended, I do now consciously own Thee as my best beloved.

Thou art continually working in and through me, Mother; Thou art always pressing upon me from above; yet in my ignorance I think that Thou art far away from me ; I fear that Thou art not taking care of Thy child; shut up in my egoism, I do not feel Thy presence and, thus, cannot live in direct and conscious union with Thee, though Thou art always with me.

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When I feel great joy in my work, it is the expression of Thy will through me. When my whole being becomes filled with gladness, it is the touch of Thy love on me. When my darkness is dispell by inner illumination, it is the appearance of Thy light in me. Yet I think that all these are only movements of my egoistic self; thus, I cannot live in direct and conscious union with Thee, Mother, though Thou art always working in me.

When I fall into error and yield to the suggestions of falsehood, when movements from the outside world move and disturb me, when my defects and imperfections rise up in magnified forms, it is only the result of the spirit of perfection working in me. Yet I fear that Thou art not taking care of me, Mother; thus, I cannot
live in conscious union with Thee, Mother, though Thou art always pressing upon me from above.

Remove this egoism and ignorance from me, Mother, let me tear away the veil that separates me from Thyself; let me feel Thy touch in all my movements, at every moment of my life; let me constantly live in Yoga with Thee, Mother, who art guiding my whole life, seated within the heart of my heart.

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Often I find Thee, Mother, more inside myself than outside; Thou enterest into me with all Thy majesty and grace filling me with Thy power and light and joy. It is then that my union with Thee becomes most intimate and Thou seemest to mingle with every part of my being.

This most happy state is to be made lasting and permanent; but the rushing out of my mind and the senses towards the external life is still a great obstacle and interruption. When I can withdraw myself from the outer consciousness and turn to the silent, sakshi Purusha that is in me, when I find my real self to be delightful in its self-existence, wanting nothing, desiring nothing, then the disturbances of the lower life cease in me or appear to be quite outside myself ; and established in the peace and the purity of the inner self, I can fully open my individual nature to Thee, Mother, and intimately receive Thee within me.

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As Thy light dawns in me, my consciousness becomes more and more pure and peaceful and clear, and I am ceaselessly aspiring to the condition when I shall get Thee permanently inside myself, completely mingling with and transforming every part of my being.

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DEDICATION

Let me live a truly dedicated life, Mother, let every thought and movement in me turn towards Thee; Thou art rapidly developing the great potentialities of my soul, Thou art bringing out my best possibilities. In all sincerity, I dedicate all this to Thee, Mother, in an integral selfgiving.

Thy light is descending into me from above: in this light I am gradually appreciating Thy divine greatness; this light increases my faith and devotion, this light makes me more and more fit to be an humble servant of Thine. Thy power is descending into me; let me hold it as a trust, let me never use it for any purpose in the world.

Thy joy is descending into me; Thy love has filled my heart with immense delight; let me

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offer it as my best worship to the Divine Lord within my heart, and accept all joy and delight as His prasad, His grace.

My new life is entirely a gift of Thee, Mother; let me continually dedicate it to Thee in an entire self-giving.

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DEVOTION

The Mother is coming into thee, my soul, give up all thy preoccupations, clear away all obstacles, make thy temple clean and pure. The queen of queens, the supreme Mother is coming to thee, my soul, welcome her with all the devotion of thy heart.

The Mother has given me her assurance, she has said to me in her divine voice: " Fear nothing, care for nothing, give thy love and devotion to me; I shall take care of thee, I shall deliver thee from all crises, I shall protect thee absolutely from all danger and grief; I am coming to thy heart, turn away from everything else and worship me with thy heart's devotion."

Yes, Mother, I shall be absolutely fearless and careless; I shall entrust my all, my life and soul into Thy hands and be delivered. Fill me with Thy presence, enter into every cell of my body, into every part of my consciousness; think

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with my every thought, move with my every movement, take up my whole being into Thy divine consciousness.

When will that day come, Mother, when I shall be a free, plastic, perfect channel for Thy divine play ?

We measure our love and devotion to Thee, Mother, by external show and appearance. We are satisfied if we can perfect our formal worship to Thee; we are disturbed if there be any defect in our formality. This is due to our old habit to be guided more by show or appearance than by reality, to care more for what we appear to others than for what we actually are.

Thou sittest within our heart, Mother, and carest more for the inner working of our soul than for the outward appearance we keep up. Our external conduct is meant only to be an aid, a support for our inner development. If we can perfect our inner relation to Thee, Mother, the outer form will take care of itself. Thou demandest our love for our own sake. The test of our love is not how we

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make a show of it, but how far it increases our own happiness, how far it helps-our inner purification and transformation, how far it helps to raise us to the divine life. Thou, Mother, wilt judge our love and devotion only by that standard and nothing else.

Thou an working wonders in me, Mother; I feel the greatness of Thy work, though I may not be able adequately to express my experiences.

My defects and imperfections often come uppermost to my mind, whenever I try to speak to Thee; and it is right that it should be so,. as this is the only way of getting rid of them. By the touch of Thy grace weakness turns into' strength, defect turns into merit, pain turns into pleasure.

Thy work is becoming more and more evident in me as I steadily grow in faith and light, in peace and purity, in knowledge and power. But the great joy that arises from my personal devotion and love to Thee, Mother, where shall I find adequate words to describe

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it ? But Thou Thyself art the source and knowest it too well. Thy love is its own reward, and I have not to wait for some future date for its fulfilment. It will sustain me in all my sadhana and will carry me victoriously through all crises, all difficulties.

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LOVE

Love is the great force which surely leads us to the Divine, and it grows by constant and sincere self-giving.

In self-giving we give up not the self but our selfishness, and that is an indispensable condition of happiness and self-realisation. The more we give to the Divine, the more we get; what we give in dross, we get back in gold;

when we offer what is dearest and most valuable to us in life, our gain becomes highest and we get the greatest joy.

When we offer anything to the Divine, we must not make any condition or demand, for that will contradict our self-giving, and defeat its own end. We should completely merge ourselves in the Divine, making her joy our joy, her power our power, her life our life. By the solvent touch of this devotion and love, our egoism will completely melt away, we shall realise that essentially we are one with the Divine Mother ;

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that we are made of the same stuff, we are nothing else but herself reproduced in so many individual forms.

Then will disappear all distinctions between mine and not-mine, all conflicts between self and not-self; we shall feel identified with the one self of all; we shall see the Divine everywhere, and in everything and every movement we shall taste the joy of the divine lila.

Essentially we are one with the Divine, yet we are differentiated so that we may ardently reunite through love—that is the highest truth of our existence.

I have found the true joy of life in identification with Thee, Mother; my whole being becomes full of real delight when I feel Thy touch intimately within myself.

I receive Thy touch in various ways, and each has its own peculiar joy. When Thy light descends into my mind and find expression through my ideas and words, I feel the great joy that arises from the perception and expression of

truth; but when my mind follows its own way, it becomes a dry and tedious movement going on in a blind and mechanical manner.

When I feel that I am working for Thee and that Thy power is working in me, I feel a great delight and satisfaction in my work; but when I work for my own sake, impelled by desires, with a sense of my own responsibility, it becomes a mere drudgery, bringing in all the miseries of egoistic effort.

When I feel an inner touch with Thy physical body, the very substance of which is pure bliss, even my most material cells throb with a deep and intense joy and get a taste of immortality; but when I cannot open myself, the body remains dull and inert, producing more pain than pleasure by its blind groping movements.

My aspiration is to perfectly identify myself with Thee, Mother, in every part of my being, so that my whole life may become full of divine and immortal joy.

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DIVINE JOY
(ANANDA)

People think that there is a special merit in suffering and that all enjoyment is a sort of sin; so they turn away from the joys of life and deliberately inflict misery and suffering upon themselves.

That is not our path. To us all suffering is due to ignorance and is a sign of imperfection.It is the Divine in us who tastes our joys, and it is on the Divine in us that we inflict all our sufferings. To seek then the true joys in life and avoid all sufferings is the secret of our sadhana. It is thus that we grow in love to the Divine Beloved seated within us and become one with the divine nature.

We want to make our work not dry and joyless, but full of delight and enthusiasm; we seek no egoistic satisfaction but the great joy that comes from the conscious service of the Divine.

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Our search for truth and knowledge is not a laborious effort of the reasoning mind, but a joyful expression of the divine light in and through us. We do not hanker after the sensuous pleasures of the body, but seek to make ourselves absolutely clean and pure, free from all nervous reactions, so that pure ananda may descend from above and seize even the material cells of our body.

Our sadhana is to offer the highest ananda to the Divine Lover who dwells within "us and everywhere in the universe, and this is possible only by identifying ourselves com pletely with Thee, Mother Divine, through sin cere love and devotion.

Every movement in Thee, Mother, is an expression of supreme Beauty; those only miss it who are blinded by their selfish ignorance and are confused by the clamour of the senses.

Through all things and events in the world Thou art eternally manifesting the Truth; the world is moving from light to light, from power to power, from joy to joy ; in and through Thy

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play in the universe, the all-pervading Divine Being eternally enjoys His self-expression.

People miss the beauty and the joy in the universe, because they cut themselves off from the perennial now by their ignorant egoism. Nothing is of interest to them that does not serve their selfish purpose ; nothing brings joy to them unless it comes in the crude form of limited sense-enjoyment; they become miserable when the Divine Shakti seems to ignore their egoistic demands. Impelled by the vain desire to possess things for the sake of the ego, they put themselves into eternal conflict with the forces of the world.

Save me from this narrow selfish standpoint, Mother, let me identify myself with Thy movement of Truth, let .me realise the infinite consciousness so that I may share with the Divine Purusha the infinite joy of Thy world play.

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PURITY

Thy love is rendering my life into a paradise, Mother; Thy grace is wonderfully protecting me from all sides. I feel so secure and happy! There must no longer be any opening in me to the hostile forces. The slightest impurity or untruth greatly hampers Thy work in me; I must now keep myself absolutely clean and pure.

And that most hard and difficult task, Thou hast made so easy for us! Thou hast taught us the great secret of fighting with all imperfections ; it is to aspire ceaselessly and sincerely. If we want^ to know anything, we have only to aspire and we shall get the light. If we want to do any thing, we have only to aspire and we shall get the necessary strength. Whatever be the position into which we may be put, however difficult or dangerous, we have only to aspire, and Thy grace will surely raise us up. Thou hast made the path so clear to us, Mother, we have

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only to will and persevere, and we shall steadily march forward.

But the great obstacle is the slackness of our will, the fundamental inertia of our lower nature. We become so easily satisfied! We only look to the positions where the light has fallen- and carelessly neglect to take notice of the obscure corners in us; hence we are always liable to hostile attacks. We must not wait for these blows to wake us up, but must ceaselessly aspire to be awake and alert. Thou hast created all the conditions favourable for our transformation, Mother; we have only to take advantage of them and we shall surely attain the goal.

It is strange how Nature frustrated in her direct attempts comes in all sorts of clever disguises to win back our allegiance. Unless we can make ourselves absolutely clean and pure and ever keep a diligent watch on ourselves, we can never be safe from the machinations of the lower nature; but that is so hard and difficult in practice!

But there is one effective way of remaining safe, if only we can sincerely stick to it, and

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that is always to live in close touch and intimate union with Thee, Mother; to listen to no voice, however seemingly wise and benevolent, unless it be Thy direct voice within us; to seek no joy or pleasure unless it comes directly from love and devotion to Thee; to engage in no work or effort unless it be for Thy service in accordance with Thy direct will and sanction. Thou hast given us all facilities for such an intimate union with Thee, and if we cannot avail ourselves of them that is all our own fault, our own weakness. How many times I take the earnest resolve not to live apart from Thee even for a single moment, yet how many times I am carried away by the seductive impulses of my lower nature! But all my hope lies in Thee, Mother, Thou knowest all my defects, all my weaknesses ; Thou knowest, in the heart of my heart I seek none else but Thyself; in Thy grace and? mercy thou wilt protect me from my own weakness, and lead me to the ultimate victory, when I shall rise finally above all the hostile forces in the world.

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