Darshan

10

"A Child of Mine Should

Never Be Afraid"

Lisbeth

I came to Auroville in May 1971, having travelled with J... from Holland overland in a five-month long road trip. First we heard about Auroville in an underground magazine called Hit week! Aloha: a small article talked about the galaxy concept and moving sidewalks ! We had also obtained with difficulty a first Swiss edition of Satprem's i\dventure of Consciousness'. We stayed in a guesthouse in Rue Romain Rolland and on the advice of a friendly sadhak we found the blue Auroville school bus, leaving for Auroville from the Ashram every day. Finding ourselves on the red, baked, eroded plateau with a few palmyras, banyans and stunted bushes, we visited several small scattered settlements with the Udavi food van, chauffeured by Dutch 'big Piet'.

These included Promesse, a neat 'douanier' settlement where we saw the maternity and had tea with Narad's wife Anny; after this Hope with Aspiration-type new pyramidal huts, where we met Vijay Dennis (later Namas), Boris and a Belgian couple Diane & Guido with their son Aurolouis. They invited us to live in Silence (later Bharat Nivas) community where they were moving to, soon. We saw Aspiration; an unreal almost cote d'Azur settlement with French people from the first two caravans dressed smartly and with a lunch buffet spread (cooked by papa Chernet) of vegetarian and non-vegetarian foods; the Bay of Bengal glittering in the distance below—around us a red wasteland crossed by gullies. Kuilapalayam was a small village with grubby urchins peeping into the flap windows of brand-new huts. In the centre, we visited Unity, the Peace area,—on

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the site where now Sincerity is located,—and the banyan tree. Arindam and Gene lived there—two Americans, under the precious shade of a few trees. The 'Centre Kitchen' was located on the site where later the Matrimandir Workers Camp would be built. Manned by Guido and Walter (another Belgian, who later set up the Takshinalaya, carpenters workshop), they cooked simple good clean macrobiotic vegetarian food for the first Matrimandir workers. We also visited the fledging nursery, one of the Ashram farms, and Lake Estate.

All the while we were hearing about this incredible woman called 'The Mother' who it seemed attracted all these pioneers.

When we moved from the Ashram to Silence we found a flowering enthusiastic community of mainly Americans farming, planting trees and doing handicrafts (leather): Marjorie, Roy, colourful John (the NY fire brigade officer), Larry, Iris and Daniel with son Mitra, Ravindra and Susan, and many others were moving in and out besides Diane, Guido & Aurolouis with whom we shared a house. Most of us worked at the Matrimandir. Our first job was to actually close the first foundation hole as it had been dug too close to the Banyan tree. We worked in a meditative mood in 42° C or even hotter, throughout the day, carrying chatties of red earth out of the new foundation pit. Ruud Lohman, also Dutch worked along with us and every time our carrying lines crossed, he taught me a new Tamil word. I remember the plans of bringing in mechanical help, in the form of wheel barrows! Caused a revolution!

As Roger Anger's plans for Bharat Nivas took shape and the original site opposite the Nursery was rejected as being too small, we were informed that we had to move. Although Silence had a primitive set-up, for us it was quite an achievement and we had put a lot of energy into the place. No reimbursement at those times! (Perhaps for the well/pump?) We were farming the nearby fields with Varegu, dry crop mottekur (a red rice) without irrigation, ragi and kambu, had a vegetable garden and had planted trees—also set up a leather & embroidery workshop—all with help of some friends from Kottakarai village. So we asked Mother for a place to start a new settlement; we had chosen another site near Kottakarai village. She gave permission with the remark that as we would be situated close

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to the village we would have to work with the villagers. So we set up a small (Ayurvedic) clinic right in the village. It was manned by Angela and myself, Constance living on the first floor. The Ayurvedic doctor from the Ashram came out every Sunday to see difficult cases. We set up a sports program and distributed healthy snacks to the children twice a day. A beautiful bamboo playground was built, but disappeared one night presumably as firewood.......

We started with an open well, simple mud and bamboo houses, there was no electricity. For transport and the watering of the fledgling trees, we got a small bullock-cart drawn by personable (bullock) Morris...

Two workshops were built. The first bakery with Larry & Sundaram operated from a barrel oven in the palmyra grove. Bobby & Gerhardt set up a print and paper workshop. A community kitchen was built, and we got some chicken and cows.

But our main work was growing tree seedlings for Bharat Nivas. The building though was deemed so beautiful that it could not be spoiled by greenery.... So, it transpired that we started to plant the seedlings ourselves and this was the beginning of the Northern greenbelt.... We were joined with Kottakarai friends Murugan and his family, Boomadevi & Jayram, and an old Amma who had lived for a while under the Banyan tree at the Centre.

I met the Mother first in the summer of 1971. She had already agreed to our staying (after seeing our black and white photographs taken in Pondy). Not having had any experience with which to measure our first darshan, we felt an out of this world, spacey experience; afterwards, sitting at the samadhi, we were unable to leave.

Waiting on the sun drenched terrace before being admitted, I felt light and awkward at the same time in my red earth-stained first sari. Mother looked me intently in the eyes; it seemed I kneeled before Her for ages. She mumbled, "Ah, ma fille c'est tres bien que tu est venue". In retrospect that was probably the time I unconsciously decided to stay, which was not our plan.

I met Mother several times after that, mostly on birthdays and in the public darshan: down in the crowded street when an

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intense silence fell as She came out on the balcony, Her absolutely powerful presence pervading everybody and everything.

Mother used to name the newborn children and when my eldest was born in the brand-new Aspiration Health Centre we asked Her for a name, at that time via Maggie as Mother was already retired and not well. We got the name Auro Mukta. It was 23^rd September 1973. In three weeks time four baby girls were born: on the same day Auromala (Promesse), also from Kottakatai a little later, Aurohira (the daughter of Constance and Iris) and Aurobhama (to Klaus & Ingrid at Nine Palms)

Mother was not seen in public any more. On the 17^th November 1973 we heard the improbable news that Mother had left Her physical body. All were in shock: J...

The period after was one of intense loss and sadness, confusion and battle with the Sri Aurobindo Society. But everyone or almost everyone was sure that the Mother's physical role could not be taken over by any one person. Nevertheless Her power and presence were still felt strongly in the subtle physical as they are at present.

One or two more remembrances: A quiet, sweltering afternoon after lunch (in the AV Dining-Room at the back of the Boulevard). I sat at the Samadhi; the only other person there was an old sadhak. We could hear Mother and others talking; French, English, loud arguments. All of sudden Her voice rang out: "You kill me with your devotion...." The sadhak and I looked at each other and all became very quiet.

A friend from Forecomers wanted to visit the Samadhi, a western sadhak with long hair and beard. He was denied access.

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Mother sent a messenger down instantly: he can come straight up to Her! "You see," She said, "it is for a special purpose I appoint the guards, he has his lesson to learn."

I used to do night-watches (12 midnight to 6 am) at Matrimandir construction site—just the concrete ribs coming up—sitting on a desk, with one sharp floodlight. Our work was to run the pump and water the concrete with a hosepipe, climbing and hanging on precariously to the structure. The sea is loud, fever birds call, the wide skies are littered with stars— no other sounds. I used the time to write, read and meditate in that peaceful, powerful setting.

Walking there before midnight barefoot with a flickering kerosene lamp; and to pass the Kali Temple halfway was always a strange, sometimes frightening, experience. It was as if I was pulled back towards the Kali Temple and could not get to the Matrimandir.

I mentioned this once to a sadhak (I used to work twice a week with Lisa who had set up a workshop for embroidered garments called Aurocreation and stayed overnight with her in the Ashram, meeting many sadhaks). He told me that the Mother had given a very simple mantra: "A child of mine should never be afraid"—and reciting this with every step, I indeed encountered no more obstacles on the way.

In earthly hearts kindle the Immortal's fire.

Book XI

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