Darshan

24

"Two Blue Eyes Became

Blue and White Waves"

Meenakshi

Vanakkam,

We have heard many researchers, professors and scholars in this particular school of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. I am just a kindergarten child and I am from the nursery of course. [Meenakshi resides in the nursery where plants for the gardens of Matrimandir are grown.]

Antha Kangal, Antha Kangal

Ennai, Ennai Paarkum;

Ennai, Ennul Saerkkum

Antha Kangal, Antha Kangal.

Those eyes, those eyes.

Me they see, me alone.

Merge they, me to my inner self.

Those eyes, those eyes.

Whenever I think of the Mother, this poem comes to me again and again: "Antha Kangal—those eyes." Somewhere in 1969, we, a bunch of college students, boys and girls with an American scholar, came to Pondicherry. You know the psychology of young people in a new place on the loose wanting to tease everybody around and giggle all the time.

As we came from the beach side we saw many people standing in a corner of a street in perfect silence looking at a

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particular point. I came to know much later that they were drawn to have the 'Balcony Darshan.' [Darshan: a regular event of Sri Aurobindo Ashram in those times when the Mother appeared on the balcony of the Ashram's main building for a silent communion with the Ashramites gathered on the street below.] At that time I didn't know what it was and why those people were standing there quietly. I was totally and thoroughly ignorant. Actually we wanted to disturb the people. "Why these people are standing so silent?" was the mental state at that moment for our group. And one could even listen to the rustle of the dresses and the breathing of the people. But slowly we also started feeling the silence. So I could silence myself along with those devotees. Slowly I became a part of one soul, one body along with the big gathering there and I was also looking up. I found a small sparrow-like being (Sparrow is called 'chittukuruvi' in Tamil.) moving on a balcony. And then it looked like an old person was coming, waving. Then the boom came. Two blue eyes became blue and white waves, big waves that took me, churned me and threw me completely upside down. It is very difficult to share my experience; the colour of it, the depth of it, the image, the dimension—very difficult. I try to capture in a language close to me but I am really short of words because the experience was so rich and strong. I try my best to share but still I can't.

I don't know what happened later—through my friends I came to know that I was taken to the Ashram hospital. There was an old doctor—later 1 came to know, Dr. Nripendra—who said, "I know what the problem with this girl is; put her in the Ashram hospital." So I was taken into the Ashram hospital for three days and on the fourth day when I opened my eyes, my hair was done differently with double plaits and I was wearing a pyjama and shirt. I didn't know how, but all got transformed— my dress, my style, everything. Then my friends told me, "Something has happened to you in this city. We were waiting three long days for you; better we rush back." So they took me back to Madras. That happened somewhere in '69. I came again to Auroville in 1976 on an invitation from Ruud Lohman—at a similar time such as now, dusk—asking for the location of Matrimandir Camp. That was to start the Tamil Fund for Rural

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Development activities to link Auroville and the neighbouring villages.

"Where is Matrimandir?" In Kottakarai [a neighbouring village] the children gave a landmark. "There is a banyan tree; go to the banyan tree." So, where is the banyan tree? It was getting darker and a tall gentleman came. "You are going alone!" Yes. "Better you take this torchlight with you." "Okay, but how to return this back to you?" "Ah, it will come to me." "What's your name?" "John." He guided me to Matrimandir. I somehow happened to land at the workers' camp but Ruud Lohman was not there. But that day—I came to know later that night—the 21^st February, was the Mother's birthday. The person who received me in the camp was Toine who is my partner (in 78, we became partners). It was his birthday too! And he organised for my stay in the camp. So all put together, now, I think how blessed I am. In the camp-room where I stayed, when I looked at the wall,—oh!—there was the blown up picture of the eyes of the Mother. And it was in Ruud Lohman's room too. Then I got the connection. The same eyes, those which led me from Pondicherry to Madras to Madurai to Gandhigram and to so many places, various socio-political movements, underground movements, had brought me back here—to my home, Auroville.

Antha Kangal, Antha Kangal

Ennai, Ennai Paarkum;

Ennai, Ennul Saerkkum

Antha Kangal, Antha Kangal.

Those eyes, those eyes.

Me they see, me alone.

Merge they, me to my inner self.

Those eyes, those eyes.

The eyes of mortal body plunge their gaze

Into Eyes that look upon eternity.

A greater world Time's traveller must explore.

Book I, 4

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