Esha's recollections of some episodes of her life, as narrated to Nirodbaran in Bengali, who translated it in English. This is presented here in form of a book.
Sri Aurobindo : Contact
Nirodbaran on Esha's story : Esha, the late Dilip Kumar Roy's niece, was a little girl visiting the Ashram when I came to know her through my niece Jyotirmoyee with whom she had become very friendly. She wanted to settle in the Ashram, but her mother did not want it as she was still a minor. When after many years she came to the Ashram again and stayed with Sahana Devi, I became more closely acquainted with her. By that time she had already married and obtained her divorce and had decided to settle here. I came to her help and made all possible arrangements for the purpose. Since then I have come to know her well and listened to her narration of the incidents of her life. As I found them interesting I began to note them down and was thinking of publishing them in Mother India when somehow she got wind of it and strongly objected to it. As I felt I had Sri Aurobindo's sanction for it, I did not listen to her. In spite of my disregarding her objection, luckily she did not stop recounting her saga. Of course she narrated it in Bengali and later I put it down in English as faithfully as I could. When the story began to appear in Mother India, she insisted more than once that I should stop it. My answer was that I believed it could be helpful to many readers and that Sri Aurobindo seemed to support me.
THEME/S
Now let me narrate a few pickings from my current contacts with the Lord. The other day I said to him, "I get very easily upset by physical or material inconveniences; for instance, minor problems like some electrical malfunction make me imagine a world of obstacles I would have to overcome in order to set it right." I prayed to him to remove this inborn nervous weakness. He answered, "No, I can't do that. You have to try to do it yourself."
Later, I asked Nitod-da, "Why did he say that?"
"Well," he replied, "that is common sense. We ourselves have to make some effort. If the Divine did everything for us, then no sadhana would be needed. We have to do our own bit, and only then leave the rest to him. I have seen how easily you perceive things as dark and dreary and feel helpless in spite of the fact that the Lord is always with you. Since you were brought up by your father like a hot-house plant, material existence has gone very smoothly for you. Now you are having to pay for it."
On another occasion, I made a most extraordinary request of the Lord. I told him that I saw him often and heard his voice, but one thing I wished for more than anything was his blessings with his two hands placed on my head. To this he answered, "That is very difficult. Things like visions and dreams are much easier than physical contacts."
In this fashion, I go on talking to him when I am in my room. "O Lord, where are you? Why have you left me alone? Where are you?" And suddenly I hear his voice: 'কি?' ("What [is it]?") . Only one syllable but oh, how sweetly said!
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