Esha's recollections of some episodes of her life, as narrated to Nirodbaran in Bengali, who translated it in English. This is presented here in form of a book.
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Nirodbaran on Esha's story : Esha, the late Dilip Kumar Roy's niece, was a little girl visiting the Ashram when I came to know her through my niece Jyotirmoyee with whom she had become very friendly. She wanted to settle in the Ashram, but her mother did not want it as she was still a minor. When after many years she came to the Ashram again and stayed with Sahana Devi, I became more closely acquainted with her. By that time she had already married and obtained her divorce and had decided to settle here. I came to her help and made all possible arrangements for the purpose. Since then I have come to know her well and listened to her narration of the incidents of her life. As I found them interesting I began to note them down and was thinking of publishing them in Mother India when somehow she got wind of it and strongly objected to it. As I felt I had Sri Aurobindo's sanction for it, I did not listen to her. In spite of my disregarding her objection, luckily she did not stop recounting her saga. Of course she narrated it in Bengali and later I put it down in English as faithfully as I could. When the story began to appear in Mother India, she insisted more than once that I should stop it. My answer was that I believed it could be helpful to many readers and that Sri Aurobindo seemed to support me.
THEME/S
Before I continue my story, I would like to recount a few more recent experiences.
My Thakur Krishna had promised me that he would never leave me. One day as though to honour this assurance, he suddenly appeared to me holding his right hand outstretched in a gesture of peace and protection. But instead of setting my mind at rest, the visitation made me all the more worried and apprehensive that some calamity must surely be imminent.
A few days later, in the early morning, I went down from my room as usual to fetch water from the tank when I slipped into it and got completely drenched. Fortunately nothing more serious happened, and I understood the meaning of my Thakur's outstretched hand. The question arises why he could not have prevented the accident altogether. But all I can say is that his ways are often mysterious and beyond our understanding. It is also possible that I was fated to have a worse accident and he rendered it harmless.
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