Esha's recollections of some episodes of her life, as narrated to Nirodbaran in Bengali, who translated it in English. This is presented here in form of a book.
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Nirodbaran on Esha's story : Esha, the late Dilip Kumar Roy's niece, was a little girl visiting the Ashram when I came to know her through my niece Jyotirmoyee with whom she had become very friendly. She wanted to settle in the Ashram, but her mother did not want it as she was still a minor. When after many years she came to the Ashram again and stayed with Sahana Devi, I became more closely acquainted with her. By that time she had already married and obtained her divorce and had decided to settle here. I came to her help and made all possible arrangements for the purpose. Since then I have come to know her well and listened to her narration of the incidents of her life. As I found them interesting I began to note them down and was thinking of publishing them in Mother India when somehow she got wind of it and strongly objected to it. As I felt I had Sri Aurobindo's sanction for it, I did not listen to her. In spite of my disregarding her objection, luckily she did not stop recounting her saga. Of course she narrated it in Bengali and later I put it down in English as faithfully as I could. When the story began to appear in Mother India, she insisted more than once that I should stop it. My answer was that I believed it could be helpful to many readers and that Sri Aurobindo seemed to support me.
THEME/S
Another day I asked him a silly question: "Champaklal, Nirod-da and others have served you so well and you have loved them all. Was there no jealousy among them, say particularly between Champaklal and Nirod-da?" He laughed and said, "Ask Nirod."
And so when I asked Nirod-da, he told me: "It is a very interesting question particularly coming from a woman, for in women this frailty is supposed to be more commonly found. Our group, however, consisted of men, and elderly men at that. So we were more or less free from that taint of personality. Besides each one of us had his own duty allotted to him according to the nature of his service and his personal convenience regarding time. Maharaj — that is, ChampalcIal — and myself had to be present most of the time, but somehow I did not feel any jealousy towards him. We combined very well indeed. But the main reason for our harmonious comradeship was Sri Aurobindo himself whose impersonality bound us together. He was Samam Brahman, affable towards all of us —whereas in the Mother's case, it was her personal aspect that was in front as she had to deal with each person individually. I have said elsewhere that Sri Aurobindo was the very epitome of impersonality. Your question takes me back to those days and makes me relive the time spent in his adorable Presence."
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