Esha's recollections of some episodes of her life, as narrated to Nirodbaran in Bengali, who translated it in English. This is presented here in form of a book.
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Nirodbaran on Esha's story : Esha, the late Dilip Kumar Roy's niece, was a little girl visiting the Ashram when I came to know her through my niece Jyotirmoyee with whom she had become very friendly. She wanted to settle in the Ashram, but her mother did not want it as she was still a minor. When after many years she came to the Ashram again and stayed with Sahana Devi, I became more closely acquainted with her. By that time she had already married and obtained her divorce and had decided to settle here. I came to her help and made all possible arrangements for the purpose. Since then I have come to know her well and listened to her narration of the incidents of her life. As I found them interesting I began to note them down and was thinking of publishing them in Mother India when somehow she got wind of it and strongly objected to it. As I felt I had Sri Aurobindo's sanction for it, I did not listen to her. In spite of my disregarding her objection, luckily she did not stop recounting her saga. Of course she narrated it in Bengali and later I put it down in English as faithfully as I could. When the story began to appear in Mother India, she insisted more than once that I should stop it. My answer was that I believed it could be helpful to many readers and that Sri Aurobindo seemed to support me.
THEME/S
Another day I said to him, "Do show me how to do meditation. As I can't settle my mind, I do japa."
He made a gesture of joining the thumb and index finger of both hands and doing the japa:
कृष्ण केशव पाहि माम्;माँ श्रीअरविन्द त्राहि माम् ।
O Krishna, O Keshava, save me;O Mother and Sri Aurobindo, deliver me!
I very distinctly heard him uttering the japa.
Whenever I don't see him, I complain and he says, "Be like a child, just as you were when you came first, because like that you'll see me. I am in you."
"I don't understand."
"At that time, you were not concerned about other people's opinions. You would just jump into the Mother's lap. Give up your desire to be good in people's eyes."
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