Esha's recollections of some episodes of her life, as narrated to Nirodbaran in Bengali, who translated it in English. This is presented here in form of a book.
Sri Aurobindo : Contact
Nirodbaran on Esha's story : Esha, the late Dilip Kumar Roy's niece, was a little girl visiting the Ashram when I came to know her through my niece Jyotirmoyee with whom she had become very friendly. She wanted to settle in the Ashram, but her mother did not want it as she was still a minor. When after many years she came to the Ashram again and stayed with Sahana Devi, I became more closely acquainted with her. By that time she had already married and obtained her divorce and had decided to settle here. I came to her help and made all possible arrangements for the purpose. Since then I have come to know her well and listened to her narration of the incidents of her life. As I found them interesting I began to note them down and was thinking of publishing them in Mother India when somehow she got wind of it and strongly objected to it. As I felt I had Sri Aurobindo's sanction for it, I did not listen to her. In spite of my disregarding her objection, luckily she did not stop recounting her saga. Of course she narrated it in Bengali and later I put it down in English as faithfully as I could. When the story began to appear in Mother India, she insisted more than once that I should stop it. My answer was that I believed it could be helpful to many readers and that Sri Aurobindo seemed to support me.
THEME/S
I had this vision after the passing of Sri Aurobindo.
One day, as I was lying in bed, I felt I was going to die. All on a sudden my soul came out of my body and began to fly very high up. I used to have the experience of going out of my body in my early days, but what happened now was most memorable and significant. After I had reached a certain height I began to turn round and round at a tremendous speed. It produced such an unbearable pain that I began to cry out, "O Thakur, O Sri Aurobindo, save me, save me. I am dying. I can't bear this excruciating pain. Do free me from this agony!" My cry was of no avail. The soul was kept on whirling. Then I felt someone coming near and standing and watching. I felt it was Sri Aurobindo.
The spinning soon stopped and the relief came. Then he said to me in a grave voice: "This pain of yours, you have suffered only for a while and you call it unbearable. Well, just have a look below." I did. My God, what a sight! Thousands and thousands of souls crowded, huddled together and squirm.. ing like worms and crying, wailing, howling in extreme agony.
"Do you see these souls?" Sri Aurobindo said. "They have been in this condition for ages and they will go on, one doesn't know for how long. Compared to their suffering, yours is a child's peevish discomfort."
I had no words to utter, so struck I was by what I saw. This was, J suppose, what goes by the name of suffering in Hell. Then Sri Aurobindo said, "This is the seventh plane — bhumi — to which you have come. Now go!" He uttered these words with such power that I was moved downwards. Suddenly a door with only one panel opened up and, gliding through it, I fell into a world of light. Light and nothing but light was there and I was bathed in that golden and blissful lustre. I remained plunged in it for a long time. Such indescribable joy, ananda, it was.
These two polar conditions so markedly contrasted are beyond belief. I said to Sri Aurobindo, "I don't want to go down into the world again. I shall live here for ever."
"No, you have to go down," he replied.
"When shall I be able to return?" I asked.
"You have to take one more birth."
Saying this, Sri Aurobindo vanished and I came back to my body.
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