Esha's recollections of some episodes of her life, as narrated to Nirodbaran in Bengali, who translated it in English. This is presented here in form of a book.
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Nirodbaran on Esha's story : Esha, the late Dilip Kumar Roy's niece, was a little girl visiting the Ashram when I came to know her through my niece Jyotirmoyee with whom she had become very friendly. She wanted to settle in the Ashram, but her mother did not want it as she was still a minor. When after many years she came to the Ashram again and stayed with Sahana Devi, I became more closely acquainted with her. By that time she had already married and obtained her divorce and had decided to settle here. I came to her help and made all possible arrangements for the purpose. Since then I have come to know her well and listened to her narration of the incidents of her life. As I found them interesting I began to note them down and was thinking of publishing them in Mother India when somehow she got wind of it and strongly objected to it. As I felt I had Sri Aurobindo's sanction for it, I did not listen to her. In spite of my disregarding her objection, luckily she did not stop recounting her saga. Of course she narrated it in Bengali and later I put it down in English as faithfully as I could. When the story began to appear in Mother India, she insisted more than once that I should stop it. My answer was that I believed it could be helpful to many readers and that Sri Aurobindo seemed to support me.
THEME/S
The case dragged on for more than two years. Though there are many interesting incidents connected with it, I will leave them out and give only the resume of the case.
A year after I had won my divorce case, my husband filed a suit against me for possession of our child. Of course, I had apprehended such a possibility, for he was not the man to take things lying down. The Voice had warned me that he was a devil, a Satan and would seek every possible means to do me harm, and was in fact gathering all sorts of information before he would strike his lethal blow at me. When he thought he had sufficient evidence in his favour, he launched the case.
When I appeared before the Court with my mother and child who was four or five years old and was studying in St. Xavier's School in Calcutta, the judge told me sweetly, "You see, Madam, I can perceive from your looks and your demeanour that you are an honest and innocent lady, but being a judge I am bound by the law and the law is in favour of your husband. You have to surrender your child to him."
My lawyer pleaded that the plaintiff had been writing letter after letter to the tutors claiming that he wanted to transfer his child to another and better school in Calcutta. But the tutors paid no heed to his claim, for it was the mother who had put the child in their care and she had pleaded with them not to accede to his demands.
Now the judge wanted to hear the evidence of the tutors. But they were not supposed to appear before the Court. I had therefore to go myself to them and plead with them to grant me the favour. My supplication moved their hearts and two of them were allowed by the School authorities to appear in court and give evidence. They said that the husband had shown no interest and not even once inquired from them how the child had been getting on. How could he then claim the child and transfer him to another school which had quite a different system of education from theirs?
As the legal battle was going on I brooded on my fate, feeling helpless and forlorn. Then all on a sudden something happened. To my eyes the courtroom was suffused with a pale blue light; two giant legs spread apart and covering the hall stood on the floor, and the ankles were adorned with two exquisite anklets with shining golden bells. It was a ravishing sight. I was overwhelmed with the beauty and splendour of those bells. I knew it was my Krishna who had come and I felt peaceful and secure. Mind you, I never prayed to Sri Krishna or anyone else during the crisis and still he came!
The judge, after hearing the evidence, postponed the case to another date. Now my principal lawyer had his chance. He advised me not to appear in court on one excuse or another, and that I should employ this pretext repeatedly till my husband's resources were drained out.
Many months passed in this way. One day my husband appeared before the Court and complained, shedding crocodile tears, that we were harassing him by applying all pretexts and ruses and had made him a pauper. The judge moved to pity for him gave a final date for the hearing and if the defendant did not appear he would decide in his favour.
Now we had to appear on the fixed date. As we reached the courtroom, I heard the wailing voice of my husband appealing to the judge in his private chambers. As soon as came out, the judge called me and said that my husband had given up his claim for the child and would like to have me back. I saw through the whole satanic move behind it. The judge now began to play on my sentiments and, moved to pity by my husband's tears, asked me to come to a reconciliation with him saying, "Let your child be with your mother and you can go back to your husband since he is keen on having you."
I thought much over the proposal with tears rolling down. After a long while, I said, "All right, I agree."
My lawyer, flabbergasted, exclaimed, "What have you done? You have surrendered to him, that devil!"
"Well, I did it for the sake of my child. What does it matter to me, after all, it is a question of only one life."
At this point another tremendous thing happened. I felt a hand on my head with peace descending. Then I saw Sri Aurobindo standing by my side just as physically as I see Nirodda. He was a very large figure, full of power as if he could crush the whole world. I felt protected. Suddenly I proposed to the judge, "I will go with him but he must take me at once with him." My husband got suddenly frightened and cried out, "No, no! I can't, I won't! I don't want her!" Here too I had not invoked Sri Aurobindo.
The judge was completely baffled and much annoyed. He said, "Very well. The case is dismissed." And turning to me he added, "Are you satisfied now?" I replied, "No, he must now sign a document that he must on no account try to see me or meet my child. If he does not comply, he'll be arrested." On hearing this my husband burst into loud sobs.
Thus Satan was worsted by the Divine Power. He met his Nemesis.
Only that Power could have inspired me to be so bold. My lawyer said later, "You are an extraordinary lady. God is certainly with you."
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