An extraordinary girl

Going out of the Body

I used to have uncanny experiences at night. When I slept with my child some spirit or force seemed to come and want to drag me away forcibly and fly somewhere. I was very frightened and tried to resist. I would catch hold of the bedding or the cot, but beside its strength mine was like a child's. Still, as long as I could hold on to my child, I would be safe, but in my sleep my hand would lose its grip and that was the moment when the Force would come. I could hear the sound of a bell in my sleep before its coming as well as see something whirling before my eyes and I knew that the Force was coming to wing me away. With all my heart I would cling to anything I could get hold of but all in vain. I would see in the course of my flight my body lying inert on my bed. Once the Force flew me somewhere very high up where it was all blue and as I looked down there was an infinite sea, nothing else. The more frantically I cried, "Let me go, let me go," the more powerfully would its grip tighen itself. After a long time I would feel I had come back to my bed and fallen asleep. Sometimes the scene would be repeated twice and I would feel tired for want of sleep. In the morning my eyelids were heavy, the neck stiff, seeing which my mother would be worried. One day she said, "I'll lie by your side and keep awake." But it was useless: she would fall asleep and then the same ringing of the bell and the Force dragging me away!

Once, in a stupor I actually uttered the words, "Just the reverse." That time I was flown to the same place. There I saw a sannyasi, quite tall, very fair, standing before me. I was telling him, "let me go, you're hurting me a lot," and he replied, "Just the reverse." The very words I had utterred in sleep I heard from the sannyasi's mouth. When I told my mother about it in the morning, she said that she had heard those two words uttered by me.

However, the sannyasi took me to a place where I saw Sri Aurobindo seated on a large sofa. He had a huge body, the two legs were comfortably stretched out in front of him; the face was lit with a serene smile. What a handsome face! I sat at his feet, placed my right elbow in his lap for a long time. Not only did comfort and ease, peace and joy come down and bathe my body, I felt too that there was no sorrow, no worry, no want anywhere. In my utter ecstasy I told him, "Lord, take me away at this supreme moment." Then I saw many sadhus and saints coming in a row to offer their pranam to him and I was watching wonder-struck!