An extraordinary girl

Grandfather’s Death

My grandfather died just a few months before my birth, as did C.R. Das and quite a few other great men, curiously enough, at about the same time. My grandfather had very much wanted to see his grandchild before he died, but his wish remained unfulfilled. However, he blessed my mother so that she might have a daughter and not a son, which seemed very strange indeed, for everywhere in India sons are always preferred to daughters.

There was a reason for this odd preference, or perhaps it could be called a superstitious fear. It was said, though it had never been put to the test, that in his family, sons would not survive or live long because of a curse pronounced by a Tantric sannyasi. Once, this sannyasi had come to settle in a corner of the huge garden of the house of my grandfather's father-in-law, who was a very rich man with large properties. My grandfather was, in fact, his adopted son to whom, following a common practice, he had given his daughter in marriage and, consequently, my grandfather was living in the same house. Now, when his father-in-law saw this sannyasi settled in the garden and engaged in puja and meditation, he became incensed as he had no faith in sannyasis and took them to be charlatans. Forthwith he ordered the sannyasi to leave. Naturally, the sannyasi was highly offended and left, but only after flinging a curse at him: "I tell you, you will have no male issue to carry on your family line."

That is why my grandfather wanted a daughter. My father himself died quite young and his death occurred under similar circumstances. About a week before his death a Tantric came to our garden and was seen performing his mystic rites. People suspected that he was the cause of my father's death, though overtly he had done nothing to deserve this suspicion. My mother referred the matter to Sri Aurobindo through my uncle who was a resident of the Ashram at the time. Sri Aurobindo is said to have replied that death is not caused by anyone's wrong doing; death creates its own reasons to occur, independent of anybody's malafide rituals and incantations.

Before his death, my grandfather stipulated in his will that his grandchild, male or female, would be heir to all his property and my father would act as my guardian. If my father died and my mother did not remarry, she would get Rs. 200/- per month by way of allowance. My father was given a sum of one lakh of rupees to use as he wished. When my father died, I was still a minor, so my uncle came from Pondicherry and made my mother my guardian till I came of age and this arrangement continued even after I had become a major. My mother did not change it; I also let it remain as it was, but later on it involved me in many difficulties.