An extraordinary girl

My Friend Tripti

I used to suffer from a strange malady. Quite often I would have fainting fits and lie unconscious for hours. Doctors could not detect any cause for it. One day I had just recovered from such a fit. My son had bought our food from a restaurant. After eating his share he went to his office, leaving my share on the table saying that I could take it at my convenience. We had no servants. When he returned from work in the afternoon, he found to his surprise the lunch had not been touched. When he asked me about it, I said that there was not a bit of strength left in me to get up and walk to the table. He was quite in a fix. What was to be done? Just at that time arrived my friend Tripti. "What's wrong?" she asked. She was shocked to see my haggard face. She said, "I was going in my car to visit my sick sister. Suddenly I heard a voice whispering in my ear, 'Go to Esha!' I have never before heard any voices. It startled me. It was so distinct! Now let us go to my place. If your son has no objection you will stay there till you have recovered." A few tenants were called from below. With their help I was carried down to the car.

I stayed with my friend and her family for about six months. They had me examined by a physician. He could not detect anything wrong. "A thorough examination will be needed," he said. X-ray, E.C.G. etc. were done. A dark spot was visible in the X-ray in one lung. When the doctor asked if I had T.B., I told him the history of my blood vomiting and of a "hole" in the lung. "That may be the cause of this fainting. When you get exhausted for any reason, some part of that lung fails to do its work due to the shortage of oxygen and you lose your consciousness."

I returned home apparently in good health. But again the ghost of my illness reappeared. The whole body would shiver without any definite cause. Elder Uncle then suggested, "Since here you don't keep well you had better go to the Ashram. You have yourself said that your Thakur wants you there." I refused, for I felt no call to go there. "Just because I keep well there, it is no reason for me to treat that place as a health-resort," I objected. Nevertheless, I did notice that when I thought of Pondicherry during a tremor it would stop. Funny indeed. Was it an indication that I should settle in Pondicherry? I wasn't sure. Finally, I took the decision to go. Tripti accompanied me. I stayed on in Pondicherry for many months, while Tripti went back. But due to some serious inner upset I had to leave too, and resolved not to return.

So, back to Calcutta. My son and I, we two, as before, but most often I by myself, since he had his office and his own life to lead. I still had not taken up sadhana seriously.

After a few months that old trouble reappeared. This time Uncle brought me my meals from his place and fed me.

Once I was lying unconscious for some hours. My son had gone out of town on business. When I came to, I managed with great difficulty to phone my friend Tripti and tell her of my distress. She came posthaste, and was stunned to see my condition. She took me to her place again, after phoning my son's number and leaving a message for him to come back immediately.

When Devrup arrived and looked up from the street, he found to his dismay that the topmost flat of our house, where we lived, was quite dark. Broken-hearted, he "saw darkness at noon", as we say in Bengali, and thought everything was over. After a long while he met a resident of one of the lower flats. You can imagine his relief when he heard what really had happened. He was directed to my friend Tripti's place.

He came to me, learnt the story in detail, then in a firm tone said, "Ma, better go to Pondy."

I was stung to tears and said, "For five years I served my mother. I never uttered such rude words. And you, my son, want to get rid of me for this little inconvenience!" He answered, "Listen Ma, you were healthy then. When Didi-ma (maternal grandmother) was ill you could do the needful; you had no other work, while I have a job and am away most of the time. You have these frequent fainting fits. Who is there to look after you? If something happens to you, God forbid, imagine my condition. The entire world will blame me. If you have an ordinary illness now and then it doesn't matter, but you have a sickness which baffles the doctors. When your Thakur is calling you, you had better listen to him. Perhaps because you don't, this punishment is the result. Who knows! See this friend of yours, what hasn't she done for you in spite of her many wants and inconveniences?"

My son's remonstrances opened my eyes. I felt that he was quite right. At least, I should not stand in his way. I decided finally to leave Calcutta, though much against my wish.

As soon as I had taken my decision and was trying to buy a flat in Pondy, most unexpectedly a lady-friend turned up one night at my house and said, "I hear you are looking for a flat in Pondicherry. I have bought two. If you like you can have one of them." The offer came as a godsend. I was, needless to say, deeply moved and wonder even now how his Grace acts from behind without our knowledge. I jumped at the offer and, well, here I am in my corner flat, living free from that mysterious malady!