An extraordinary girl

My Marriage

I have described how the astrologer's predictions about my life came true almost word for word. About my marriage he had said I would marry the young man I had met briefly in the astrologer's house, though I had never seen him before nor known anything about him.

I was ignorant of exactly how the marriage was arranged. Since I was a girl and little more than a minor, I was neither consulted nor informed. But I believe it was my mother who undertook the responsibility for conducting all the negotiations. I was merely told that I was to be married into a family which was one of the oldest and most aristocratic in Calcutta, and consisted not only of great zamindars and strictly orthodox Brahmins, but also of highly cultured people. My prospective husband, moreover, was considered at once very handsome and brilliant in his studies. But as I have already mentioned, when we first exchanged glances at the astrologer's place, he did not particularly appeal to me.

The day of the wedding arrived. My mother had informed my uncle about it, and he arrived from Pondicherry on the appointed day, though his contribution to the proceedings could not have been more awkward, as I recounted in an earlier episode. But when, after the ceremony, he came to know the kind of family into which I had been married, he reacted still more violently. He raged at my mother, accusing her of condemning me to a life of marital unhappiness. Did she not know that the sons of zamindars were given to every kind of indulgences? Had she never heard that, spoilt by their excessive wealth, they had no higher aim than that of a frivolous life? Everyone knew the history of zamindars and their life-style; so how could she forget it?

I had also heard a voice telling me: "Don't marry." But I did not listen, as I was intent on having the experience. Actually, - quite contrary to my uncle's way of thinking, I believe my mother contracted the marriage precisely because of the family's wealth and aristocratic lineage.

Interestingly enough, when the negotiations were in progress I came to know that my future husband had an elder brother. He was a highly qualified medical man with a foreign degree, and held a senior post in the Indian Army. He was not only known to have a spotless character, but was universally admired. It struck me that I would much rather marry him, and so I asked one of my friends to approach him on my behalf. But Fate was not on my side, for he had left for Europe just before my friend could meet him.

I realised soon after the marriage that my husband's home, where I was taken to live, was no better than a prison. Nothing could have been more incompatible with my former way of life than that of his family. It seemed to me as though guards were watching my every move from morning to night. The position of prison superintendent was filled by the matriarch of the family — the grandmother — whose word was law in all matters pertaining to the household and its members. A woman of few words, with the presence of a queen mother, her ubiquitous influence imposed itself on everyone. She particularly saw to it that the women and girls had no freedom, nor any contact with the outside world. Even our letters were censored. Each one had to be given to the darwans who routinely passed them on to the grandmother for her scrutiny before posting them. Hence, no letter of mine ever reached my family. A day came when in desperation I wrote to my mother begging her to somehow take me away from this penitentiary, for otherwise I was sure I would die. This letter fell into the hands of my father-in-law. One day he was reading the Chandi-Stotra as was his habit, and I was listening to him from a distance. Suddenly, he called me near him and said, "Little ma, Mother Kali has told me you have complained to your mother against us. This is a serious offence of misdemeanour, and we have no choice but to deal with you in an exemplary manner."

The manner which he had in mind was to starve me for a whole day, denying me even water. As a young girl of twenty, well-bred and well cared-for all my life, I could not look upon this treatment as anything but barbaric. To heap insult upon injury, I was made to break my fast at night by eating with the servants! I submitted myself to this humiliation. As for Mother Kali having told my father-in-law of my 'transgression' while he read the Chandi-Stotra, it was nothing more than a hypocritical bluff to impress the gullible members of the household.

Equally demeaning was the occasion on which the grandmother, in her role as queen mother, charged with upholding the family propriety, summoned me and scolded, "It seems you and your husband were sitting together in the open verandah. You were laughing, joking, and shamelessly amusing yourselves in broad daylight. What kind of family have you come from? Haven't your parents ever taught you manners or decency? Has no one ever told you that behaving in such a frivolous and cheap manner is a sign of low breeding? Understand once and for all that you will not be permitted to carry on like this in my house." Here too I did not utter a single word in protest.

So this is what my life had been reduced to. In my misery, I concocted plan after plan to escape from this death-trap. Finally Providence in the guise of my husband's younger cousin brother came to my rescue. I could not hope for any such consideration from my husband, for he, like the rest of his family, cringed like a pygmy before the Amazon grandmother. But the younger cousin-brother who became very fond of me had the courage to stand up for me. He told his family, grandmother included, that if they were intent on persecuting me, he would himself escort me back to my parental home. And that is exactly what he did but he had to resort to much ingenuity and deliberation to carry out his plan. Thus ended my married life in my father-in-law's house. I lived only for about six months in the family, though subsequently I kept up my relations with my husband.

What is curious, in retrospect, is that some members of my husband's household, including my mother-in-law, had the objectivity to remark, once I had gone, that I was an altogether different type of girl — too individual and bright — to be moulded into a subservient pattern, though outwardly I kept myself meek and obedient. In fact when after the marriage, my husband and I were presented before a senior kinsman, as was the custom, he had said at once: "This marriage has been a terrible mistake. The girl is too refined for our accustomed way of life."