At the Feet of the Master

A Flash of Lightning

Having lost a pious and devoted mother at the age of ten and a cultured father with a keen intellect at the age of thirteen, destiny threw me at the mercy of relatives. While undergoing mental worries, I turned to the Divine for succour then. At that time, Ramakrishna-Vivekananda literature became available to me through a brother-in-law of mine, who was the Secretary of the Ramakrishna Samaj, at Cuddapah, where I was studying in the local Municipal High School. The Swamis of the Ramakrishna Mutt, Swami Sharvananda, Nirmalananda, Sri K. S. Ramaswami Sastri (who was the Dt. Judge at Cuddapah then), one of the keen intellectuals at Madras and a great devotee, and others were visiting the Samaj now and then and delivering lectures on Vedanta and Hindu culture. There was also a Theosophical Society branch at Cuddapah, where leading Theosophists used to lecture on Theosophy. I used to attend some of these lectures and read some books also. I passed the S.S.L.C. (matriculation) examination in June 1917 and joined the Presidency College at Madras for further studies in July 1917.

After joining the College, I read intensely Swami Rama Tirtha’s¹ works and I became eager to practise Yoga. Of a very shy disposition, I was not bold enough to approach the Swamis of the Ramakrishna Math at Madras, though I went there several times, to give me initiation into Yoga practices. Anyway, the ascetic spirit of Sankara and Rama Tirtha possessed me and I began experiments in Pranayama by myself, taking the practical hints given by Swami Vivekananda in his book on Raja Yoga. I was staying in the Victoria hostel where I could not command a single room for my practices and so I felt very uncomfortable.

My financial resources dried up at the end of two years of College study. The spirit of renunciation of the world seized me. Knowing my state of mind, my relatives contrived to bring about my marriage, which came about suddenly much against my wishes. My father-in-law persuaded me to continue my studies offering financial help. Relying upon God, I decided to continue my studies, though I did not take much interest in class lessons. I became other-worldly, so to say, not caring for food or dress and so I was ridiculed by my room-mates and friends when they saw my odd behaviour. I did not however care for their insults. The College lecturers too had an eye on me as I did not take down their notes or regularly attend the lectures.

1920 was a crucial year in my life. The Non-Cooperation Movement² was in full swing. Great leaders like Mahatma Gandhi, Bal Gangadhar Tilak, Bipin Chandra Pal³, and others were addressing mass meetings at Madras to revolt against the British, boycott schools and colleges and foreign goods,

and win freedom for India. Dr. Besant, Arundale, Wadia⁴ and other Theosophists also launched the Home Rule movement to get Dominion Status tor India. There was great turmoil in the country, and the student population became excited by the fiery speeches of the leaders. The contagion spread to our college also, which was considered to be the premier Government college in the then Madras State, manned by English professors with a bureaucratic outlook. Though the students in our college had great sympathy for the freedom movement, yet very few responded to the boycott of college education. My friend and classmate Tirupati⁵, became prominent in the college by wearing khaddar and donning the Gandhi cap and created a sensation in the college. He stealthily took away my lace and silk clothes presented to me by my father-in-law, and made a bonfire of them, as they were of foreign cloth. I was happy when he told me about it after the event, as I was in an ascetic mood then.

At about this time, tossed between a desire to join the Non-Cooperation Movement, and a desire to renounce the world for spiritual practices, I happened to pursue the Arya, the immortal philosophical and cultural monthly journal edited by Sri Aurobindo, Paul and Mirra Richard⁶, on the table of our hostel library. The pages of the journal were not opened by anybody though I was seeing it on the table for days together. The matter contained in the journal was superb and I could not get the back volumes of the journal as it was newly subscribed. So I approached Sri R. S. Pantulu, an engineer, and got a few issues from him. After reading the Arya, I became attracted to Sri Aurobindo. Sri Pantulu told me some things about him, and explained some difficult things in the Arya. Pantulu was an ardent soul devoted to Sri Aurobindo even then, and after retirement from his profession, he settled down at Pondicherry, leading a dedicated life in Sri Aurobindo’s Ashram. College studies lost all attraction for me and the problem was whether to wade through the political currents, or dive deep into the spiritual waters.

It was about the last week of December 1920 and the College was closed for Christmas vacation. There was a heavy down-pour of rain in Madras. Suddenly, an idea flashed in my mind that I must go to Pondicherry and have a darshan of Sri Aurobindo, and take his advice as to my future course of action. My friend, Tirupati, who came to know about my trip, decided to join me, and so we took the night train to Pondicherry. Reaching Pondicherry in the morning, we went to the hotel Amma Nivas, in the Indian quarter, infested with mosquitoes, due to bad sanitation and open drain water flowing on the road sides. Pondicherry is noted for its parallel streets, and the French quarter abutting the sea was very neat, tidy and silent. We were told that Sri Aurobindo was residing at 41 Rue François Martin, at that time, and so we went in search of it, after our breakfast, at about 8 a.m.

Although we had no introduction to the great seer, we went straight to Sri Aurobindo’s residence. The big outer gate was fortunately open and so we entered the house, but there was nobody in the

verandah and there was silence pervading the whole house. Then, a servant appeared who led us to the Manager Sri Amrita’s room. In response to our call, the genial good-looking Amrita⁷ came out and asked us about the purpose of our visit. My friend told him that we wanted to have a darshan of Sri Aurobindo and seek his advice on political and spiritual matters. He said that it was not possible to see Sri Aurobindo.

We pleaded with Amrita, to no purpose. So, my spirits were utterly damped. We went back to the hotel, and I was in a dejected mood. Then my friend gave me solace saying that he would approach the political refugees residing at Pondicherry and ask for their help, to see the seer. He went about the town and returned in the afternoon with the news that the Mother and Paul Richard were residing at Pondicherry and that we could try to have Sri Aurobindo’s darshan through them. Anyhow, before going to them, we thought of seeing Amrita once again. So, we repaired to Sri Aurobindo’s residence again at about 5 p.m. Fortunately for us, the outer gate of the building was open and there was nobody in the verandah, as in the morning. We were loitering in the verandah for a while, when suddenly, an effulgent Being with a golden complexion, and luminous eyes, wearing only a dhoti came down from the upper storey walking majestically. In a couple of minutes, he was seen going up again, with his dishevelled hair flowing on his back, through the verandah, where we were standing. We could at once gather that it was Sri Aurobindo, and I made obeisance to him in my heart. We then approached Amrita once again and renewed our request to him in vain.