At the Feet of the Master

Continuation

After coming home I was quite confident of securing a job, as graduates were rare in those days. But the doors of Government service were closed against me, as Sri Aurobindo was considered an enemy of the British Government, though he had left off politics. I tried to get at least a teacher’s job in the local boards, but even there I was faced with the same disqualification of having been with the Divine Master, who was considered to be an enemy of the British Empire. As a last resort, I wanted to settle down in my deserted village and try my luck as an agriculturist. My father-in-law, who did not like this prospect, offered to finance me for a pleadership course for one year, as he did not want to risk his funds with me for a two years’ law course, as I was considered to be an unpredictable person. I took the chance and joined the law college in July 1924. But, as usual, I had no love for my law studies. I plodded on till the end of the course and appeared for the examination. By the grace of the Divine, I secured a pass.

I joined the Bar in October 1925, and began to make headway slowly and steadily at the Bar. I did not and do not have attraction for the profession of law which I took up by force of circumstances. The ideals of the legal profession, like other professions, are very good and ennobling, but they are more honoured in the breach than in the observance. Real “Karma Yoga” consists in upholding the ideals by sincerely following them in practice. Mahatma Gandhi has evolved and advocated an ethical code for the legal profession and he has followed his code. According to him, a lawyer has to take up only true cases and abandon the briefs whenever he comes to know of the falsity of the cause. According to the opposite view enunciated by other eminent lawyers, it is not the function of the lawyer to adjudge a case entrusted to him for advocacy, but only espouse the cause of the client as per the instructions given to him to the best of his ability, without regard to the truth of the facts of the case entrusted to him.

Unable to reconcile these two views and tossed between the high ideals preached and the malpractices indulged in by the members of the profession, I could not compose myself and wrote to the Master to extricate me from the dilemma and enlighten me as to the correct course of action. The words of advice given to me regarding the legal profession and other matters relating to my sadhana are to be found in the following letters of Sri Aurobindo: —

T. Kodandaram,

It is true the lawyer’s profession as practised by many in India is full of things which are not what they should be but it is not a necessary character of the legal profession. Even here many carry on the profession with a scrupulous honesty in all respects like Duraiswami and succeed. A lawyer has to do his best for his client and make every point he legitimately can in his favour — to bring out the weak note of the case is the other party’s function, not his; but it is his best to which he is bound, he is not bound to do what the client demands as the best. It is a question of establishing an honourable but practical and commonsense standard for the profession.

As to the other matters you mention it is the common experience in the transitional stage of the sadhana. You have to establish within you an unimpregnable basis of calm and consecration and openness to the higher consciousness and the Divine; from there you have to deal with the confused mass of the ignorant outer Nature by the light and with the force of the deeper and purer knowledge, will, aspiration which comes from within or descends from above.

24-5-33

Sri Aurobindo

T. Kodandaram,

There is nothing in all that you write which would legitimate the gloom and despondency of which you speak. These are the usual difficulties of the physical nature, enhanced by the support they get from the subconscient which sends up the same habitual movements always. All sadhakas in dealing with their outer and especially their physical nature have to face these difficulties. The alternations of “day” and “night”, luminous and obscure periods, are also usual. One has to remain calm and hold on to one’s path and courage in the dark periods; if one does so, it is easy to deal with the imperfections of the nature which are their cause.

To be watchful and reject the suggestions of the physical mind as much as possible is the best means of shortening their reign. If constantly detected and rejected, they begin to lose their power, although they do not cease till the light is fully there in the outer mind and the subconscient parts. Transformation of the physical and subconscient parts is a long, arduous and difficult task; but a calm and vigilant persistence succeeds in the end; depression and impatience only prolong their retardatory action.

As for the dreams, if no support is given to them by waking thoughts, impulses or imagination, they must be purely due to a persistence of all old impressions and habits in the subconscient though sometimes a purely physical cause (constipation, urine accumulation) produces them also. There is no need to be troubled about that; it will disappear when there is a clearing of the subconscient by the light. Some have succeeded in stopping the subconscient habit or holding it in check by putting a will on the sex centre before going to sleep, but this method does not succeed with everybody.

There is no harm in taking interest in your work as a lawyer, without that there can be no success. But both the work and the success should be inwardly offered to the Master of all works; so long as it has to continue.

20-5-38

Sri Aurobindo

In May 1928, I went to have a darshan of the Master after I left him in 1924, and learnt about his complete seclusion, leaving the guidance of the Ashram to the Mother, he himself working from behind. I saw Mother, who received me kindly, and had meditation with her. From that time onwards, I looked upon her as my second Guru.

Since that time, I began to spend my Christmas and summer holidays in the Ashram, and was attending the darshans of the Master and the Mother, every now and then. My wife and daughter were coming for darshans and sometimes spending some days along with me in the Ashram.

On account of a serious bronchial trouble, I could not attend the 24th November 1950 darshan. My disease worsened, and it struck me that I must see the Master, and so I started for Madras on the 2nd December 1950. I got myself X-rayed and consulted my physician friend. He advised me to go back home and not to proceed to Pondicherry in my bad condition then. I hesitated and at last wended my way homewards, on the 4th. I prayed to the Master for my recovery. That night I had a dream about the passing away of a great and effulgent being, taking into himself the poison of the earth, and devouring my illness also and a bright goddess appeared by his side shedding peace and Light on the world. Next morning the papers announced the passing away of the Mighty Master and I was free from

my ailment. How compassionate he was in protecting me from my illness! And His protection and grace are always with his devotees!!