The thrust of all my energy is spent, I move automaton in my domain, My vision dulled and all her beauty rent By death and all my days by pain.
Distraction's forces have assaulted me Upon a ground I once had thought secure, Closed is the wide approach to sanctity As beliefs once held are now no longer sure.
I cannot move and yet I fill the round Of days and write my meaningless replies, For all the happiness that once I found Has faded as the light within her eyes.
The world we think we know is a charade And what we see as real illusion's mask When all life's plans are suddenly waylaid Forgotten is the goal, the ages task.
Will I return to till the fields of hope The path ahead find energy to climb Or will I veer towards the downward slope Once joyous limbs accept the lash of time.
Perhaps surrender is the only key And sacrifice to a God dimly known, Or will I wander through eternity On obscure soil where seeds of doubt are sown?
Shall I still called by promptings of the soul Respond or feel the weight of days descend Upon the body, their oppressive toll Signalling this earthly journey's end.
I must awake to higher Self and dare The unplumbed depths, attempt the unscaled heights, To breathe again that supernature's air As once I opened to the soul's delights
In days when brilliant roses seemed to pale, Their attar lost in presence of Her smile, God's promise that our effort would not fail And love all human sorrow reconcile.
Poems Undated (1727)
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